Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
by ChewingGumGum
Summary: Matt always felt like he missed on having a normal life, and Mello never bothered to think about life outside of Wammy. An unexpected collision with a group of local teenagers gives them a window into what takes place for those their own age outside the gates of Wammy. Rated M for drug use, language, and explicit scenes. Fair warning: OCs present as building blocks for M/M
1. Chapter 1

**When You Were Young**

 _He doesn't look a thing like Jesus_

* * *

At the time Matt had no way to predict that January 10th, 2006 would be the beginning of the loneliest period of his young life. It was there, in front of the gates of the Wammy house on the snowy late-winter ground, that everything changed. At first it all seemed like an innocent event, after all, Mello was prone to getting into altercations and this one shouldn't have stood out from the rest. It was around three in the afternoon, a few minutes after the private school in the neighborhood let out its students, that it all went down. Matt and Mello had been coming back from a quick trip to the corner store and as they approached the gate to the Wammy House they crossed paths with a pack of uniformed teenagers around their age. This wasn't uncommon, the proximity to their school meant students frequently walked back and forth on their street, staring into the gates with curiosity as the Wammy kids stared back. It was hard to tell who was watching who. However, they never interacted as if an invisible barrier stood between them. Today the unspoken rule would be broken as one of these teens chose to be particularly vocal on his negative observations about the Wammy House.

"What even is this place? Is it a school? I feel like we've never had an event with them…" a tall dark-haired boy about sixteen pondered out loud.

"It's like… one of those places for crazy people, you know. Just a bunch of freaks" answered the tallest amongst them within earshot of Mello, who didn't take his wording lightly. Matt watched his best friend's rage ignite like a match, a frown settling on his face as he inhaled sharply before blurting out an offense

"Who the hell are you calling a freak, ya fucking neanderthal?" the blonde exclaimed, surprising the entire group of teenagers consisting of two boys and two girls. The tall kid snapped his head to look at Mello square in the eye, propping his posture to make his already bulky frame appear even larger. A mocking smile flashed across his handsome angular face

"Look Dan, that's one of them right there. Freaks, I tell you" he insisted. Mello's azure eyes narrowed as he strut towards the private school teen, stopping only when he was so close their chests almost touched. Matt foresaw this ending terribly but knew better than to try to stop him.

"Don't fucking test me, I swear I'll–" before the blonde could finish his sentence a fist met his face with full force, knocking him on the ground. The two girls shrieked.

Mello lost track of where he was and what he had been doing seconds prior as he lay on the snow, hearing voices all around him, but being unable to string together what they were saying. His head felt heavy and his mind was slowly coming back from disorientation.

"What the hell was that, Drew? Are you out of your mind?" he heard a panicked female voice come in clear "fuck, is he dead?"

"He's not dead" came Matt's voice in a monotone. Mello opened his eyes slowly to find a soft round face looking down at him, light brown hair showering down on him and tickling his face uncomfortably "he's breathing, I can see it from over here" sustained his best friend. Mello lifted lifted his head with some effort.

"Holy shit" said the girl kneeling over him as she used a soft light pink glove to wipe his face from below the nose down. Mello could see the blood, now soaked into her glove, and sighed with annoyance. He propped himself up onto his elbows and felt a gentle stream of warm red pour down his face. "Are you serious?" the girl said turning around and rhetorically showing the bloody glove to Drew.

"Oh come on, he came at me. What was I supposed to do?" Drew responded in defense with no avail, the girl rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You're uninvited from going to Dan's house today, I don't want to look at you right now" she stated taking off her glove, balling it up, and using it to plug Mello's bleeding nose as the blonde boy brought a hand up to his aching face.

"What?" Drew said in disbelief raising his voice "you're insane. You can't do that, you can't uninvite me from Dan's house… It's _his_ house!" The second girl in the group, a pretty Middle Eastern face with long raven hair gathered in a ponytail, snorted a laugh. Dan took a couple steps back from the situation, making it clear he wanted no part in this argument.

"Fine, then I'm uninviting myself today, but you're forbidden from coming to Angie's party this weekend because she's my best friend and I get to have a say" the brunette stated in a raised tone.

A raven-haired girl, presumably Angie, spoke up to try to mediate. "Alright, this is too much. You two are embarrassing. Drew, you're banned from the party this weekend as punishment for being an asshole. Em, do whatever you want but I'm going to Dan's because I can't feel my legs at this point" she said with a shiver. "Now, let's go before you people cause another scene." With that, Angie turned around and continued her path, followed by her two male friends. Em pouted slightly as she watched her friend group go: the girl clearly wasn't expecting them to actually agree to leave her behind.

"You can go along, I'll take care of it from here" said Matt lighting a cigarette. Mello stood up avoiding all eye contact most likely due to embarrassment. He wasn't used to being on the losing side of fights, but hey, that kid had taken a cheap shot anyways.

"No, it's okay. It's not like I have anywhere to be" she assured with some indignation "can I have one?" She asked motioning to his pack of red Marlboro.

"Sure," Matt said handing her a cigarette and sparking the lighter for her. As the girl took a drag, Matt noticed the dried foreign blood on her bare fingers from the glove that Mello currently held up to his face. "Do you want one, Mells?" Matt offered. The blonde nodded and lit a a cigarette from the box, smoking it in silent irritation.

"So… is this a school?" Em asked to break the silence, looking at Wammy through the gates. She had seen some kids in the yard sometimes, but there didn't seem to be enough of them for it to be a school.

"Yeah it's a boarding school" Matt answered with a half-truth

"Are you guys done with class?" She continued probing.

"Uh… yeah, pretty much. We have homework and such but it's just… regular after school hours" he lied, knowing that at the Wammy house there wasn't a lot of time to be idle about learning and improving. The girl nodded and looked at the two boys, studying them. Even in their plain black winter attire, they managed to look peculiar. Matt's dark red hair, pale freckled skin, and goggles were probably easy to pick out from a crowd. Mello had a tamer look, Em thought his hair could come off as the 'California beach boy' look that was popular in teen magazines... except he was very polished and his demeanor wasn't exactly _chill_.

"Can I come in?" She asked catching both of the boys off guard. They looked at each other, cigarettes between their lips, not knowing how to respond. Was that even against the rules? No outside kids had been to Wammy house, but it was probably just because no one had really felt inclined to cross the gates before.

Em felt the awkward silence "I'm cold and I want to wash off, is all" she explained with simultaneous confusion and amusement, unable to understand why it seemed to be a big deal.

"No, it's not allowed, sorry" Mello said plainly, causing Matt to look at him with disbelief at his rudeness. He knew Mello had some social _quirks_ , but this was a matter of basic human decency.

"You can come in and use the sink, just make it quick" Matt corrected, earning an eye roll from Mello.

The bitter cold helped finish their cigarettes quickly, and the three of them headed inside the gates and into the main entrance to the house. They each stomped some of the snow off their shoes, and slipped them off once inside to protect the hardwood floors from corrosion. The snow wasn't really the culprit, but the salt used to keep sidewalks dry was damaging to interiors. Matt led Em into the foyer, thinking she could use the sink in the downstairs guest bathroom, but quickly realized his mistake. On the couches in the lobby sat three Wammy kids in different positions with books in their hands, their eyes darted on the outsider that had just invaded their space. Not even Mello's bloodied appearance deterred their intense glare.

"Uh… you can use our upstairs bathroom" Matt opted, dreading how plain weird Wammy kids could be. Being the most socially adept kid in the house weighed on him sometimes. He led the girl towards the staircase at a brisk pace– thankfully their socks quieted their footsteps as they approached Matt and Mello's room.

They bathroom was shared: it had two doors on either side that each led to a different room. On one side of the bathroom was Matt and Mello's messy abode, and on the other lived Near and his roommate in a perfect state of order. This scheme was the root of several confrontations given Mello's history of animosity with Near, but for some reason no one bothered to change this arrangement. Matt walked into the bathroom, locking the door that allowed Near's room entry to make sure no one would come in and catch them sneaking a girl in. Even if it was probably expected at their age. "All yours" he said exiting into his own room and taking a seat on his bed.

Em walked over to the sink, noticing little bottles of lotion, deodorants, and other self-care products lined up against the mirror along the white counter. She slid off her backpack and dark blue winter coat, letting them drop the floor carelessly before she began to thoroughly wash her hands. The water circling down the drain turned from red, to pink, to clear. Unaware of sleeping arrangements and separation of property at the Wammy House, she reached for the nearest towel, a soft white one, to dry her hands.

"Mells? Do you want to wash your face?" she asked peeking out of the bathroom, earning a questioning look from Mello and Matt. Her eyes widened thinking she had somehow gotten it wrong, "that's your name right? He said it downstairs" she claimed pointing at Matt. The blonde boy shook his head

"Only Matt calls me that, it's actually Mello" he explained shedding his coat onto his own bed, walking over to the bathroom, turning on the faucet to a warm temperature, and tying his hair back to keep it from getting wet. Emma moved out of his way by stepping back into the bathroom.

"Oh, okay. I'm Emma by the way… I think I have some Ibuprofen in my bag, my head's been hurting here and there. I think I might need glasses… at least that's what Angie says" Emma spoke aimlessly as she kneeled down to search her pockets for the painkillers. The sound of crumpling paper and odd objects clashing inside her school bag echoed in the bathroom as she dug, finally pulling out a little white bottle rattling with pills inside. "Here take two, it works better" she set down two bright orange pills on the counter, noticing the watery red splatters on the surface "you're getting blood everywhere" the girl pointed out with a giggle Matt found particularly irritating. She used the same white hand towel and began to wipe it off. Mello lifted his head from the sink, dripping water from his chin.

"That's not mine, it someone else's towel" he stated. He reached for it and searched it trying to find the stitched initial found in every Wammy kid's towel set to make separating laundry a lot easier. An black 'N' was threaded onto the corner. Mello smirked, thinking of how neat freak Near would feel upon finding his white towel a bloody mess.

"It's an emergency, I'm sure they'll understand" said Emma confidently, taking the towel back into her control and continuing to wipe the counter and the sink. "I'm sorry about Drew by the way, he's a friend but he can be such a dick" she said with exasperation.

Mello looked into the brunette's light brown eyes and narrowed his stare. "I'm going to have to kill him" he said assertively, his stone-cold facial expression unflinching.

The wiping stopped. Emma held his stare with disbelief in her expression, but a moment after the corners of her mouth curled into a smile. "How?" she whispered, causing Mello to let out a stunted laugh, which made her laugh in return.

Matt, who was hearing this from the outside, furrowed his eyebrows at the noises coming from his bathroom's open door. He was practically the only person that had the pleasure of being exposed to Mello's silly side here and there, why was he being so jolly all of a sudden? …And then it hit him. Mello was betting on the possibility this girl would sleep with him.

"Okay but seriously, you can't kill him. He's the only worthwhile rugby player in our team. Rugby team victories means parties, and parties are the only way we can drink in peace" explained Emma. "Speaking of which, what are you doing this weekend?" The question came casually and unassumingly.

Back in the room Matt's eye widened in disbelief at what he had just heard: a girl had just asked Mello out. He replayed it in his head to make sure he hadn't just imagined it. The redhead waited patiently for his roommate's response, knowing not matter what he said he would diligently tease him about it for the next week or so. His best friend sighed as he struggled to answer

"I'll go" he said, earning a toothy smile for the brunette girl "if Matt goes." The girl peeked her head out from the bathroom door excitedly

"Matt? Do you have plans?" She asked the redhead. He winced at the question, hating the turn this had taken given today's events. He wasn't the partying type to being with, and in addition he wasn't exactly fond of Emma and her friends in particular.

"I don't know…" he started, but before he knew Emma rushed to join him on his bed

"Oh come one, it'll be fun! It's my friend Agie's birthday so it's going to be a big one" she tried to convince him "you guys _have_ to come, I'll make sure you enjoy yourselves to make up for today" Emma promised. Matt looked at Mello, who was now standing in the bathroom doorway with his arms crossed

"Fine, we'll be there" the redhead said in defeat.

* * *

 **Lyrics: The Killers- When you Were Young**


	2. Chapter 2

**Powerlines**

 _Out on some journey searching for some better minds_

* * *

Mello looked up from his book as Matt returned to the room "he's still awake" the redhead announced, closing the door behind him. They were waiting for Roger to go to bed to make their great escape into the night and find the party, but it was past midnight and Mello was growing impatient. "It's unusually late for him. Plus, it's freezing cold out, let's just sit this one out" Matt pleaded.

"You're always complaining you don't get to do normal people stuff, why are you so afraid of this party?" Asked Mello with instigating intentions.

Matt smirked "you always mock those uniformed kids, if it wasn't for that bird you wouldn't even consider it" he retorted. "Face it Mells, this isn't your idea of a good time either" he added knowing there was little he could do sway him.

"Let's just go," the blonde said putting his book down and standing up from his bed. Matt sighed– this wasn't the first time they had snuck out but they had always made sure Roger was asleep before attempting anything. He took his computer from his night stand and logged into the already hacked Wammy security camera system, freezing the image only for the ones facing out back. If anyone were to check the monitor, they would see the same grainy image of the Wammy backyard instead of the two orphans climbing out of a window. As long as he didn't forget to unfreeze them later his scheme should go unnoticed. It wasn't the most elegant strategy and it certainly wasn't fool-proof– it was a quick trick passed onto them by B, who had gotten away with sneaking out hundreds of times, so they trusted the method.

"Okay, we're good" he declared, putting on his jacket over his striped shirt and jeans, and strapping his leather boots on his feet "ready?"

Mello put in his own jacket over an all-black outfit and stuck some essentials in the pockets: money, a cell phone, and a little piece of notebook paper containing the address "yeah, ready"

The two boys opened the window and climbed out, expertly navigating the nooks and crannies of the house to climb over to the right a couple meters, hopping onto the pine tree (the only three bearing leaves this time of year), and using it to get over the back fence. It wasn't an easy task, but they had perfected it over the years.

The boys would have to brave the cold as they crossed the main street and navigated the next neighborhood over to find the correct house. It was easy to tell the right one apart once they were close– Angie's home was a stately two-floor structure with tall bordering walls and a large surrounding yard, currently lit up and loud with activity and bubblegum pop music. Some large white balloons were tied to the main gate, signaling invitees. They would be out of place in there, Matt could feel it even before they opened the front door to reveal an air thick with smoke and conversations.

Mello didn't know what he was expecting, but he certainly wasn't picturing this many bodies when he first agreed to come to this. It was overwhelming, but he reasoned with himself and concluded they could be in an out in just an hour as long as he remained focused. He took a deep breath and zeroed in on finding Emma in all this mess, signaling Matt to follow him. He made his way through to the living room, finally spotting her propped on the backrest of a couch talking to a small group of people that listened to her intently and robotically laughed when she laughed.

Brown eyes caught sight of Mello and a genuine smile spread from ear to ear "yes! You made it" she exclaimed sliding off the backrest to wrap her arms around the two Wammy boys. Her audience from moments before followed her with their gaze and gave the two strangers in her embrace questioning looks. Someone looking in from the outside would think they had known each other for years. A sweet scent engulfed them, her silver hoop earrings jingled with her excitement, and her bare midriff made Matt highly uneasy. "Let's take your coats up to Angie's room, they'll be safer" she offered kindly, taking Mello's hand and leading them upstairs.

They approached a door decorated with magazine cutouts of celebrities and fashion items, Emma knocked twice before turning the handle and letting herself in. The room was well-furnished with a large queen-sized bed posted in the middle, surrounded by a mixture of rococo decoration and posters of good-looking men with feminine faces. Inside they found a small group of three girls: one looked at herself in the vanity mirror while the other two chatted on the bed.

Emma's demeanor switch at the sight of them. "This room is off limits, you guys have to take it elsewhere" she stated coldly as she took two coats from Matt and Mello and placed them on a nearby armchair.

The two girls on the bed stood up and moved to leave, but the third looked away from the mirror and lifted an eyebrow– opting to confront the twiggy girl giving her attitude. "And who the fuck are you?" she asked recapping her lip gloss, and eyeing Emma through thick eyeliner. Standing tall with an athletic build, she would definitely be able to take down the mouthy brunette if she so pleased. However, Matt was confident it wouldn't come down to it: in all his years at the Wammy house he'd never seen the girls fight with one another like the boys did. Catfights were a TV trope to cater to male viewer's fantasies. He was sure of it.

Emma's eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched, her mask of niceties crumbling in an instant to reveal a seething girl that looked about ready to resort to murder. She walked over to the intruder, ignoring the size gap between them and barked, "who the fuck am I? The real question is who the fuck are _you._ " Emma got so close their bodies almost touched. Suddenly Matt wasn't so sure. The taller girl froze as the lithe brunette opened her mouth like a cobra snake peeling back its fangs to bite down on a field mouse. She spoke slowly "I don't know what mindless chav invited you to our party but they'll be joining your hog body out in the freezing fucking cold if you don't get your ugly little snout out of this room this _instant_ "

The intruder swallowed her spit and paused for a second, but in the end shuffled out of the room slamming the door shut on her way, leaving Matt tense and uncomfortable with the silence that fell all around them. Mello, on the other hand, didn't seem to be fazed by any of what just took place.

Emma's posture perked up. Her soft features rearranged back into a sweet smile as if it had never left her face, "let's get you guys some drinks, yeah?" She suggested, heading out to leave the room to lead Matt and Mello back into the party, the door shutting behind her.

There was a stash of her liquor under the kitchen sink that the girl rummaged through while she explained the importance of bringing out the alcohol in waves to avoid everyone getting too drunk at the very beginning of parties. Emma finally found what she was looking for: a large glass bottle with a handle that was already half-empty. She poured about half a thumb's height of amber rum into three plastic cups and handed one to each of the boys without breaking before tapping her cup to theirs and singing "cheers!" before swallowing her shot in one swift motion.

Mello followed suit almost immediately, grimacing at the taste, but Matt had mixed feelings– he stared at his cup of reeking liquid wanting nothing more than to tip it over the sink. Mello looked at him as if asking what the holdup was, so the redhead finally gave in and took his shot trying his best not to let the taste seep in (to no avail). Before he could protest Emma was already pouring him a refill, this time doubling the amount and topping it off with soda. He watched as everything took place and forced himself to subdue to the situation.

"Hold on, I think there should still be some ice left," she said, taking their drinks and walking over to the freezer

Matt took her momentary departure as an opportunity to talk some sense into his best friend "remember what B used to say? Never stick your dick in crazy, you should stop this while you're ahead" he whispered

Mello rolled his eyes. B _was_ the crazy one in any equation so his advice was really more of an irony than wisdom. In either case, he was unable to retort sensibly so he resorted for some half-assed justification "that girl should've had some manners in the first place"

Matt opened his mouth to talk one but it was too late, Emma was shutting the freezer door and nearing them again "here you go" she said handing each of them a cup

"So how old is Angela turning?" Asked Mello, looking around at the diversity of age groups around them. There were some nervous kids that seemed to young to be here, a large portion of people around their own age, and then a skim portion of guys that looked ripe enough to be university students.

"Seventeen" Emma answered like a proud parent despite Angie being her senior "she's getting her license next week! Although I think I'm more excited about it than she is" the girl confessed

"Why's that?"

"Well, to me it means we get to go places: go to bars in the city, or we can rent a cabin in the woods to drink in, maybe even beach parties during break" Emma's tone was dreamy as she envisioned all the adventures that would be within reach, "but her parents are really strict so she doesn't think they'll let her take the car out much"

"To be fair it just sounds like you want to drink in different places" mocked Mello

Emma thought back to what she had just said and laughed "I guess you're right" she admitted "I think it's more so just drinking with different people… everyone at school is so boring" she declared looking around at all the familiar faces she had grown up with and partied with year after year. She propped herself to sit on the kitchen counter "I just want to go... beyond, you know?" Her hand mindlessly dug into her brassiere from where she pulled out a crumpled cigarette.

For the first time tonight Matt agreed with Emma, he had felt similarly about the Wammy house. The difference between them was that he was too afraid of making the first move– for a long time it had just been him and Mello against the world and he was afraid to lose that for the sake of broadening his circle. If only her move hadn't been made on his best friend maybe he'd be more open to acknowledging the common ground between them. The redhead flicked on his lighter and brought it up so the girl could light her cigarette.

"Thanks, Matty" uttered the brunette, being second only to Mello in using his nickname. She took a long drag and a sip of her drink "do you have parties too? I can't imagine how that would work out at a boarding school"

Mello took her cigarette and stole a drag "there's nowhere to do it, really" he confirmed handing the white Marlboro back

"Where's the birthday girl?" interjected Matt, purposefully distracting from the topic of the Wammy house

Emma shrugged "I dunno, she took a body shot off of one of the rugby lads and then I never saw her again" another sip touched her lips "I texted her a while back but she hasn't responded so I thought I'd leave her to it." She pulled her cell phone out of her jeans to check for messages once again "I will say this is odd, she usually always texts me ba–ah!" Emma shrieked and hopped off the kitchen counter, dropping her cigarette but not her drink– a puddle of soda extended over the surface and poured off the edge in a waterfall. Mello reacted quickly, standing up the two-liter bottle of soda that had been knocked over by a passerby, unbeknownst to the culprit. Matt reached for the nearest rag and began to soak up the mess only so the dripping liquid would stop splashing in his direction

"Oh, ew" lamented Emma, observing how the soda had generously seeped into one side of her jeans

Mello saw his chance and took it "come on, let's get you clean." And with that, they were both gone. By the time the redhead rose from the ground from wiping up the mess there was no sign of the girl and his roommate.

* * *

Matt wandered through the party feeling like a lost lamb, wanting to make conversation without being able to take the first step. He had always prided himself in being the most normal out of all the Wammy kids but now it had become crystal clear that years of isolation in that home had skimped him of being able to confidently start a conversation. He resented Mello for abandoning him, but he knew he probably deserved it for mocking him earlier. Well played.

Just as he was about to give up and opt to head back home on his own, a familiar voice beckoned him

"Hey, you're uh- that kid," said a dark-haired boy standing at the entrance to the living room with a couple of girls. Matt instantly recognized him as that one guy that hadn't struck Mello in the face on Tuesday. Perfect, this is exactly what he needed.

"Matt" the redhead introduced himself as the girls studied him without interrupting their interaction "you're Dan, right?"

"Yeah, great memory," the boy said with a smile that showed off a set of straight white teeth. "I'm sorry, I'd shake your hand but" he excused, motioning to the half-rolled joint he was putting together. "So, you're here with Emma I assume?" Dan asked as he looked down to continue the delicate process without dropping crushed marijuana on the floor.

"Yeah kind of… she invited my roommate really, I'm just here as collateral" he confessed. Dan looked up and raised his eyebrows at Matt

"Blonde long hair, yeah? I kinda saw that coming" Dan said with a slight shrug returning to his labor of love. Saw what coming? Matt wanted to know what he meant by that, but knew it wasn't the right moment "I've been there though, sorry to hear that… being a good friend isn't always easy huh?"

Matt felt at ease for the first time tonight, something about this guy was so disarming in the best way. His words came across genuinely. "Yeah, you get it" Matt agreed "it's okay though, it's not like I had any better to do tonight anyways"

"So who do you know here?" asked one of the girls abruptly, cocking her head to one side, looking straight a Matt under glittery eyelids.

"Emma… barely"

"And me" chimed Dan

"And Dan" agreed Matt

"And Drew" added Dan playfully

"No, not Drew" Matt said with a chuckle, recognizing the name as belonging to his best friend's aggressor

"Yeah… maybe not Drew" Dan agreed, leaning down to lick along the joint wrapper to seal it.

The same girl looked at her friend and then back at Matt, leaning closer to him "I'm Andrea, nice to meet you Matt"

Matt felt slightly uncomfortable at how close she was standing to him all of a sudden, but played it cool "nice to meet you too" he replied, secretly wishing they would leave him to talk with Dan.

"Let's go outside, yeah? It's too many people in here" the dark-haired boy suggested, leading the four of them back into the entrance hall and up some stairs– not out to the backyard like Matt had initially guessed he would.

They curved around people, up the stairs, down a hallway towards a doorway with familiar magazine cutouts taped into it. Dan opened the door to the room Emma had brought them to earlier, as proven by his coat resting on the armchair. This time around, sprawled on the bed and facing away from them was the birthday girl herself. Dan turned to the two girls that had followed him and Matt here

"Actually… would you guys mind giving Angie some space?" he asked, clearly implying that they leave. The girls slumped but didn't argue, leaving the room.

"Should I…" started Matt, thinking he should clear the room as well

"Nah you can stay, they'll just… talk. You know?" Dan said in a near-whisper, closing the door behind them and walking over to Angie's corpse, placing a gentle hand on her "Ange, you alright?"

The girls groaned loudly but turned to face the ceiling with her eyes still closed "too many birthday shots" she said groggily. Her voice was dry and strained. Matt, spotting an empty glass on her night stand, instinctively put two and two together and took the glass to fill it up with water in the bathroom. He brought it back and passed it to Dan who gave him a nod of approval

"Do you feel sick? Bathroom's right there" the dark-haired boy said in a soft voice referring to the door across the room

Angie opened her eyes slowly "I just did, I don't think there's anything left in me." Dan handed her the glass of water and helped her prop herself up to take a few sips

"Would weed help?" he said proudly holding up his precious joint for her to see.

Angie smiled at first but then thought it over "ugh, what if I get the spins?" she wondered referring to the nauseating feeling of being trapped at the eye of a tornado when one mixes alcohol and marijuana. "I think I'll pass… I'll join you on the balcony though"

She started to rise, pulling a decorative blanked off the bed along with her. Matt extended a hand to help her steady herself, finally catching her attention "oh, hey" she saluted taking his hand to lift herself "I'm so sorry… I'm usually not the hot mess at the party"

Matt chuckled "don't apologize, it's your birthday. Happy birthday by the way" he reassured her.

Dan opened the door to the balcony, letting in a chilling breeze "oh shit, it's brisk out" he said closing the door again immediately

"You can borrow one my coats" offered Angie coyly

"Or you could borrow Mello's, we left them up here earlier" counter-argued Matt

"Angie, that was a compelling offer but I think I'm to pass on squeezing into anything of yours," Dan said poking fun at his drunk friend

"Fine, go on, feed your fragile masculinity" she said dismissively

Matt put on his own coat and handed Mello's to Dan. The three of them stepped out onto the small balcony that jutted out from the front of the house from where they could see a beautiful view of the moonlit neighborhood beyond the front yard. Dan finally got to light his joint, taking a couple of drags in before passing it to Matt. The redhead took it between his fingers, thinking it couldn't be much more different than smoking a cigarette, although the effects did intimidate him slightly. He took a slow drag and exhaled, instantly feeling his muscles relax, understanding why people confront the law to get their hands on this. He instantly forgot about Mello abandoning him back there and surrendered to enjoying the company and the view he had new.

Further down the hall in one of the guest bathrooms, Mello watched as Emma removed her pants while sitting on the floor. Why on the floor? Because just moments earlier she tripped on the denim and landed ass-to-floor tile. Further back in time, as they walked to the bathroom, his hormones painted a picture of the cute brunette slowly undressing for him… but the reality wasn't quite as enchanting. He could clearly see her struggle was due to the fact that one of her black platform shoes was still strapped to her foot, but he gave her a moment to see if she could figure it out. In the end, impatience got the best of him.

"Shoe" he muttered

"What? Oh" Emma said erupting into drunken laughter, allowing her upper body to fall horizontally as she gave up completely with her pants still attached by the ankle. The boy leaned over to undo her shoe and finally free her of her denim trap. He brought the jeans to the sink and turned on the water, washing the wet spot of sugary soda and wringing out the fabric repeatedly to try to get as much off as possible. The bathroom lay silent during that process except for the sound of water running echoing.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" He spoke after a few minutes turning off the water

"What's that?"

"Why me?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you…" he struggled to find the right words "into me"

The girl laughed, standing up slowly "I don't know" she replied avoiding the question and simultaneously confirming she was indeed _into_ him.

Mello directed his blue eyes to her, unconvinced by her response "I think you know"

She took in a deep breath and sighed a boozy sigh, "I've seen you before" her answer came as a surprise "at your school. You were laying in the yard last summer just looking up into the sky like people do when they watch the clouds but there wasn't a single cloud in the sky" the girl approached the bathroom counter to reach for her plastic cup and sip "I thought it was so strange"

Mello tried to remember that moment but he couldn't, and it frustrated him "summer was a long time ago"

"Yeah, and then I never saw you again. Until Tuesday, that is" Emma looked at the boy, pushing a soft strand of hair behind her ear as the gears turned in her head trying to find the right words "I guess… I wondered about you." Her arm snaked up to gently touch the bruise on his cheek, her doe eyes spoke desire

Mello held her gaze and leaned in until their noses almost touched "that's a little creepy" he uttered quietly

Emma laughed and playfully slapped his arm "stop! You ruined our moment"

"Oh was that it? That was our moment?" he teased "I thought it was just you coming clean about spying on me"

"I wasn't spying on you, I was… I was…" she hiccupped "okay, I was spying you a little bit" she admitted with a giggle "I'm sorry"

"It's okay, I tend to have that effect on people"

"Oh, please, you're not all that" she sustained sarcastically

Someone knocked on the door loudly, "what's the hell's taking so long?" their demand was muffled

"Oh fuck off! Can't a lady take a piss in peace?" Emma screamed at the door. They both waited for a response from the outside, but none came. "They do have a point, those are not going to dry for a while" Emma granted, taking her pants under her arm and her drink in her hand and turning to open the door

Mello stopped her "Woah, slow down. You might want to put those back on"

Emma shook her head and adamantly twisted the knob "I'm going to borrow something from Angie, her room's just down the hall"

* * *

 **Lyrics: Powerline- Telekinesis**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'll Try Anything Once**

 _Ten decisions shape your life_

 _You'll be aware of about five_

* * *

The door to Angie's room busted open to Emma barreling in, shooting straight for the walk-in closet with the same rightfulness only a best friend could have. Mello followed closely behind feeling like he had just walked on fire instead of a carpeted hallway. The looks he got as he emerged from the bathroom after the girl, brotherly punch on the shoulder from a guy he'd never seen before in his life, and a stray wolf-whistle punctuated a mixture of embarrassment, anger, and annoyance he was struggling to digest. His face kept a serious expression, but his rose-tinted cheeks betrayed him.

On one hand he held the girl's shoes and on the other what was left of their drinks– he set them both on the end table by the entrance next to a pair of headphones, a bunny rabbit lamp, and a copy of Virginia Woolf's _A Room of One's Own_.

"Ooh la la!" Emma exclaimed pulling out a pair black silky wide-cut pants to show Mello "what do you think?"

Mello huffed and shrugged "they're nice"

The brunette looked at him knowingly. She spoke as she slipped on the pants, struggling to stay on her feet "a girl and a boy walked out of a bathroom– whether I was wearing pants or not they'd still think you fingered me in there." She stood up and admired her new outfit in the mirror, spinning on her bare tiptoes "these feel like heaven, I can't believe I've never seen them on Ange." She struck a couple of silly poses for the blond, trying to pull him back to the playful mood they had been in, to no avail. Instead, she opted to go for the harsh truth approach he proved to be a big supporter of "Mello, don't mind them they're boring, ugly, little people"

Mello's expression softened "you're terrible"

Emma shook her finger in protest "it's just the unsightly truth"

"Perhaps. Does't change the fact you say hateful things" he said unapologetically, walking over to the girl and fixing the crooked hem of her pants

"And I mean them, too" she added with a grin. Mello wondered how someone that came across as so overtly social could have such a distaste for her peers. He was beginning to second-guess following the girl's lead– he instinctively knew that her personality was a ticking time bomb. The boy didn't want any serious involvement; he only came here with the intention of getting the sexual gratification he'd never be able to find at Wammy's. What was supposed to be an easy lay was turning into something murkier by the second. It would surely be a headache.

Amongst the silence in the dimly-lit room they heard snickers coming from the other end of the glass exit to the balcony. Emma and Mello exchanged a look of surprise. It was hard to see out past the reflections on the glass, but as the girl approached the door she could see three silhouettes. She opened the door carefully as to not bump someone,

"Well hello there" she greeted Matt, Dan, and Angie who sat on the ground giggling fervently

Angie looked up at her best friend with a cigarette in hand, "Em! I haven't seen you in ages" she grabbed her and pulled her down by the arm, forcing her to join her on the ground. The process she lost control of her Marlboro and dropped it on the floor, from where it rolled right off the balcony "oops"

"I texted you, love" Emma replied with tenderness "how are you guys sitting out here? It's so cold"

Angie opened the blanket and wrapped it around the brunette "come in here with me, it's not so bad. Matt, please don't hate me but could I bum another?"

Emma held the door open and called Mello's name "come out, I found friends! Can you bring my drink?"

Matt took another cigarette from his box and handed it to the birthday girl already lit, "there you go"

The blonde stepped out and handed Emma her drink with a shiver. He spotted his best friend with a familiar dark-haired boy and the girls "oh, hey"

"Sorry, I took the liberty of borrowing your coat" confessed Dan, passing the joint to Matt and beginning to take off the jacket

"No no, there's enough blanket for everyone" insisted Angie, lifting her arm to invite Mello to sit on the other end. The boy wasn't one for cuddling up to people, but he knew better than to reject the birthday girl's offer. He sat down next her, having to swerve his arm away from the lit cigarette briefly, and wrapped the warm fabric around his shoulder

He had to admit this felt nice, "thanks, this is actually not bad." At that moment he noticed a strange smell and traced it back to the joint currently tucked between his rosy-eyed roommate's lips: was Matt… high?

"I swear this blanked it the only thing that gets me through winter" Angie said enjoying the extra warmth from the two bodies on either side of her "have you had fun? Did I have a good birthday?" She asked in no particular direction

"Did you have a good birthday…." Emma repeated, mulling over her question "it's definitely getting talked about on Monday if that's what you're asking. Are _you_ having a good birthday?"

Angie smiled "yeah. Things went downhill for a bit but then these two came to the rescue" she explained looking across to Matt and Dan. The two sat glassy-eyed with dopey grins on their faces,

"Oh, she's had a fun birthday. I think too much fun was the issue" teased Dan

"Oh shush, I've had to hold you guys' head over the toilet more times than I can count" Angie retorted

"True" admitted Emma and Dan in unison like scolded children as he took the last drag of his joint and she sipped from her flat soda-rum mix. The sound of a guest vomiting on the yard down below reached their ears

All of their faces contorted into disgust and then faded into quiet laughter in unison

"Oh God" sighed Mello putting down his drink, he was now well aware he was at a great balance between drunk and in control he didn't want to upset. Emma handed what was left in her cup to Dan, who gladly finished it off for her.

Angela leaned on her friend and the brunette, who pressed her cheek against the crown of her head in response. The five of them sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the music coming in from all around, eavesdropping on the conversations happening in the yard, watching cabs come by to collect a few spent party-goers.

"This is nice" uttered Angie softly.

* * *

Matt was awakened the next morning by the sound of activity outside his door. He rolled over lazily and caught the sight of Mello lying on the bed opposite to his with blankets tangled around his legs, sporting the same black jeans a dark-colored t-shirt he'd been wearing the night before. It hit him. The redhead jolted out of his bed and frantically searched for his laptop, hurrying to open the Wammy security cameras and simultaneously begging the powers that be that he hadn't forgotten to reset the frozen images. He saw the panel of six images from the security cameras, each portraying a different angle of the house, washed by sunlight. He let out a sigh of relief– he'd somehow remembered.

The boy shut the computer and lied back down, trying to put together how they got home from the party last night. His head was cloudy, but otherwise, he felt fine. Perhaps it was best to shower and find some breakfast… lunch? What time was it anyway? He glanced at the cell phone on his bedside table: twelve past twelve. Well, shit. Roger must've been well aware they had grossly overslept by now. He stood up from his bed, warm feet against the cold hardwood floor, and walked over to his dreaming roommate to gently nudge him awake.

The blonde was so deep in cloud nine it took a rough shaking for him to finally responded "wha- what is it?" He said sitting up quickly and instantly regretting it as nausea washed over him

"It's late, we have to get started," Matt said making his way to the bathroom to take a shower. Despite it being a Saturday they were expected to complete their lessons.

Mello held his head in his hands, groaning at the unbearable headache pounding within his skull and the dryness in his throat. He decided the kitchen was too far to reach feeling this ill and instead walked into the bathroom

"Dude!" protested Matt pulling his pants back up, as his undressing process was rudely interrupted

"Water" gasped Mello before leaning into the sink and drinking from the tap like his life depended on it. He lifted his head, panting and dripping from his chin "I feel like shit"

"Well yeah… you drank quite a bit"

"When?"

Matt paused "I don't know… all I remember is you drinking straight from the bottle" the image was clear in his head, but it stood alone without context

Mello winced at the mention of rum "I'm going back to bed."

* * *

Matt was able to complete his morning routine and dive into his studies for an entire hour before he finally spotted Mello coming to join him in the library. The blonde sat next on the large couch looking pissed off

"That bad?" Matt asked, gently closing the heavy book on his lap. Mello nodded. "Try eating something"

"How come you're not ill?"

"I don't know, I guess I didn't drink as much"

"I hate myself" the blonde said sinking into the couch

"Do you want me to get you some toast? That should be easy on your stomach" Matt offered, stepping up to the plate as usual

"Yes"

Matt put his book down and made his way to the kitchen pulling out some sliced bread and sticking it the toaster.

"Mello doesn't look good" came a soft voice, the redhead jumped back with shock and hit the counter loudly

"For fuck's sake, Near. What did I tell you about sneaking up on me?" He scolded. The kid's overall paleness coupled with his appearing acts constantly scared him into thinking he had seen a ghost.

"Sorry. Is he alright?"

"It's okay. Yeah, dinner didn't sit well with him" answered the redhead only because he felt bad for Near– he always expressed care towards Mello and received nothing but harshness in return.

"Oh, alright" Near accepted his answer but Matt knew he didn't buy it. That kid could sniff out a lie like it was nobody's business. The ivory kid drifted out of the kitchen without probing any further, leaving the redheaded gamer with a feeling of uneasiness he wasn't quite sure where to place. The toaster rang and spit out the bread, which Matt plated and brought back to the reading room

"Here you go" he set down the plate on Mello's lap and returned to his book.

He read as the sporadic crunch of toast being bitten into signaled the blonde was trying to finish the bread (and keep it down). Eventually, Mello started to spring back to his normal self, burying his face into a book and blocking all outer stimuli to focus. The two stayed in the library for the rest of the day, past the early winter sundown, until their stomachs grumbled for food. Matt was the first to succumb.

"How about some lu- dinner, Mells?"

"Yeah, sure" the blonde agreed, putting his own book down. Given the number of kids that had to be fed on a daily basis, the Wammy house cooked up large meals three times a day and set them up for the children to serve their own plates according to their taste and appetite. As an eccentric bunch, their food preferences were equally eccentric. Today the kitchen served a large pot of spaghetti with some pesto sauce to top it, baguette slices, and parmesan cheese. The boys filled two bowls to the brim and took them to the dining room, sitting at two of the untouched placemats. Food waste was discouraged, so by taking such large portions the boys knew they were tied to finishing every last bite.

Matt nonchalantly twirled some pasta onto his fork as he took a look at his phone to check the time, but to his surprise he found a text message awaiting.

 _Mario Kart at my place tonight? –Dan_

Matt would never turn down a chance to play video games so he began to start typing out a response using the number keys

 _Sounds fun. What time?_

"Who are you texting?" asked Mello between bites

"Dan, not sure how he got my number. He wants to play video games tonight"

"Emma gave it to him"

"How did she get my number?"

"She asked for it when she got mine on Tuesday"

For some reason, that small fact made Matt happy that he wasn't as pathetic as he though– he no longer felt like he was being forcefully included simply because Emma had an obvious interest in his roommate. The phone's screen lit up with a reply

 _Whenever you guys are ready, Em and I just hanging out._

Matt slid his phone over for Mello to read the texts himself as he was busy stuffing too much bread into his mouth. His skimmed through quickly and sighed

"What? You don't like her anymore?" Matt questioned, receiving a glare. He knew the boy didn't like to talk about his encounters with girls in any romantic terms

"I just don't feel like going anywhere"

"You don't have to come"

"I do" Mello stated simply without bothering to offer a sound explanation

"At least your appetite's back."

* * *

 **Lyrics: I'll Try Anything Once- Julian Casablancas**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sick Shit**

 _I'm not sorry_

* * *

Matt sucked on what was left of his cigarette to try to distract himself from the cold as he walked the neighborhood side-by-side with Mello. The cloud of tobacco smoke was amplified by the condensation of his own warm breath. They were both squinting at the numbers on each house, trying to spot the right one under the darkness of ten at night in January winter.

"Is that it?" Mello asked, motioning to an impeccable grey house across the street thinking he recognized the bronze number bolted onto the door from the text message

"Yeah, that's it" Matt confirmed, relieved by the thought of guarding from the cold indoors. They scanned the road to make sure no cars were coming and jogged across the street, diving straight for the doorbell. At first there was silence, but then came the sound of bare feet walking on a wooden floor. Dan opened the door in a plain white t-shirt and sweatpants, issuing his signature toothy grin at the sight of the boys

"Hey! I was starting to wonder about you guys" the boy stepped out of the way to let them in, his lightly freckled face coming into view under the artificial lights. "You can leave your shoes on the rack" he directed, taking Matt's coat and placing it on a hanger by the entrance "we're warming up some pizza, are you guys hungry?"

Despite having consumed a copious amount of spaghetti only a few hours back, the incessant voraciousness of teenaged boys showed no limit.

"Pizza sounds great" accepted Matt, leaning on a knee as he placed a shoe on the rack.

Mello nodded with a half-smile as he hung up his own coat, trying his best to appear sociable despite still feeling the effects of his drinking the night before. His first hangover was proving to be a darling life lesson. The three boys walked into the kitchen, where Emma was leaning into the oven with a spatula in hand trying to pry the pizza off the the baking sheet. If she leaned any further into the appliance it would swallow her whole.

"Dante. The... cheese… is… stuck…" she said punctuating her word with every attempt to shove the spatula under the crust

"Hand it over, chef" said Dan approaching to intervene, not wanting his friend to suffer burns for the sake of a cheese pizza. He gently moved her to the side "I got it, offer the guys something to drink, yeah?"

Emma spun around at the mention of the Wammy boys, she hadn't heard them arrive during her scuffle with the oven. Her face lit up with joy, brown eyes wide

"Hey!" she exclaimed loudly and skipped over to Mello, embracing him in a hug that knocked him back a step. However, her excitement quickly met a dead end.

As the blond returned the hug a memory from last night pounced on his mind and froze him in place. The smell of rum, synthetic strawberry scent, and thin female arms encircled him as he leaned down to fervently kiss female lips. There was no image, only a feeling. His eyes widened and his brow creased in concentration as he tried hard to remember the context

Emma pulled away with confused disappointment "damn, do I look that bad without makeup?" she asked only half-joking

Mello shook his head "I just… remembered something" he said slightly rattled "an assignment I forgot about until now" he lied. Matt gave him a confused, knowing there was no such thing, but didn't denounce him

"Oh… well you have all of tomorrow to work on it, right?" Em said trying her best not to let insecurity take over. She had a knack for fulfilling the role of her own best cheerleader, but today had really been a kick in the nuts. Events from earlier this afternoon coupled with Mello's less-than-receptive reaction was succeeding in shaking her usual blasé demeanor. "W-what do you guys want to drink? There's Coca-Cola, orange juice, and beer" she listed shaking away the feeling and opening the fridge "Dan's parents are cool" she cooed and giggled.

"How can you drink after last night?" Mello asked her incredulously

"Hair of the dog, my friend." She pulled out two beers and handed them out. Mello looked at the can in his hand thinking that just wasn't right, but cracked it open anyways.

"Alright, we're good here." The dark-haired boy proudly presented his plated pizza all in one piece despite the baking fiasco "Em, can you grab all the beer so we don't have to come back up?" he asked, picking up the pizza and motioning the Wammy kids to follow him towards the entrance to his basement "it's down this way."

The basement had that familiar damp smell of underground spaces, but was well-light and clean. There was a single couch facing a television, a coffee table, a washer and dryer set, and an old sound system that had been probably been replaced by a newer model and stuck down here by default. The walls were lined by crooked posters of bands the boys had never seen or heard of, the floor was lined with boxes containing old records, cassette tapes, and CDs. The television showed a paused game of Mario Kart in session– Dan placed the pizza on the coffee table and picked up a controller to exit out of the current game. Emma's footsteps could be heard at the top of the stairs, pulling together a balancing act as she carried more beers between her arms and under her chin than she could safely handle.

"Hey! I was ahead on that round," she complained, watching as her chance at victory was discarded

"I was going easy on you, we're going to play for real this time" the boy remarked cockily.

Emma huffed. "Whatever" she sneered as she bent town to try to place the first beer on the table.

Matt spotted a can sliding over her forearm and caught it in time before it dropped, "I got it, your hands are full" he said carefully picking out the cans one by one and putting them down upright. The girl watched his careful movements

"Thanks, it's–"

"So here's the deal" began Dan "we play two at a time: for every time you fall off the track you take a sip, for every lap you're behind you take a sip, and loser in a round has to chug. Got it?"

Matt nodded excitedly, trusting he'd come ahead in this game. It's as if all the hours he spent at Wammy playing videogames had lead up to this moment "got it"

Mello, on the other hand, held a worried look in anticipation of having to drink once again. He sat on the couch and hoped to God he wouldn't have to go against Matt.

"Emma goes first because she's bad at this" Dan asserted with a shit-eating grin as he handed a controller and an unopened beer to the girl, who reacted with rotund eye-roll. However, she didn't retort as she sat cross-legged on the floor and scrolled through the character choices to settle on Princess Peach.

Dan then offered the second controller to Matt "do you want to go first?"

The redhead nodded and joined Emma on the carpet. He picked his character without much thought, landing on the mushroom-hooded Toad, and then waited for her to select a track. The timer counted down with large yellow numbers on the screen, and an alarm announced the beginning of the round.

The results were very predictable once Matt crossed the line to finish the first lap while Emma lagged a handful of seconds behind. Abiding by the rules, she hurriedly took a sip from the beer while trying to steer at the same time. Then a second lap came, and once again the brunette drank to mark her disadvantage. On the third round Princess Peach fell off the track twice: once as a result of a trap and once again purely by accident. Emma's total drinking tally added up to four sips punctuated by chugging– a total of half a can of beer.

"Well… fuck. You're good at this" she granted, passing the controller to Dante while wiping her chin of a couple stray drops of lager. She scooted on the floor to lean her back against the couch so the boy could have a seat in front of the television screen. Her eyes fixated on the glaring image as her head lolled to the side to lean on Mello's knee.

The blonde glanced at the top of her head, trying to figure out how they he had gotten to the point of kissing her and forgetting about it. He mentally tried to come up with dialogue that could help him ask her without letting on that he was too drunk when it happened. Emma laughed lazily at the two boys' racecars colliding on screen. He took a sip of his beer and grimaced, feeling his body reject the flavor intensely. Matt and Dan were currently stuck in a shoving match trying to push the other's car off the track, but in the end Toad persevered.

"No! That was so close" Dante lamented, taking a sip from his own drink

Mello leaned in to grab a slice of pizza and a napkin, leaning back into his seat "so… how was the end of your night last night?" He asked the girl and took a bite. She sighed.

Her head turned to face him, her chin now resting on his knee "it was good. Angie and I just went to bed right after you guys left, were you able to find any more of that rum?"

"Uh, yeah. After we left…"

"The balcony. You guys went looking for the handle, remember?"

He did. He was finally starting to piece it all together "… and you guys stayed upstairs in Angie's room. Yes, we found it" his expression sank with the realization that he had made a mistake.

"We came, we found, we conquered" added Dante from the front of the room with a proud chuckle "not a single drop left behind."

Mello's mind flashed a memory of Dan lifting the handle and declaring those same six words as he tilted it to pour a stream of amber liquid into another partygoer's mouth. People cheered. The dark-haired boy then passed him the handle, and Mello remembered drinking liberally. Cheering continued. A girl with dark lipstick kneeled in front of him and opened her mouth like a beacon so he poured some rum down her throat. Cheering intensified.

"Chug, chug, chug!" cried Emma in celebration of Dante's defeat, throwing Mello back into reality. He had lost his appetite as a nervous feeling to refuge in his stomach for reasons beyond having to dwell with Matt on on the Mario Kart track. The blonde placed his slice of pizza on a nearby paper plate and wiped his hands clean before accepting the controller.

His eyes were glues to the television but his mind was elsewhere, trying to figure out whether Dante or Matt had seen The Kiss take place. He didn't even notice the voices going off all around him until he lost the first lap and was handed his beer. Time passed and he was still running on autopilot: game on, game over, game on, game over. It wasn't long before the empty cans of beer started piling up underneath the coffee table.

* * *

The clock stood at half past one in the morning. Mello had offered to wait outside with Emma after Dante called her a cab to make sure their tipsy rose-tinted friend got home safely. They shared a cigarette in silence, passing it back and forth to each other after a couple drags each. The mood was saturnine.

"Give me your phone, I have something for you" she finally spoke, laying out her hand

"What is it?" He asked, pulling out the worn out Motorola to unlock the screen

"This girl from my class called me today" she took the phone and opened the contact book "she asked about you"

Mello could feel his blood freeze, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up "who?"

"Leah. She asked me to give you her number" Emma pressed 'save' and handed his phone back forcefully

"So… you knew this whole time?"

"Yeah. To be honest I wasn't going to give it to you, but she could just find another way to get to you" she tossed the cigarette on the floor and stepped on the lit cherry "is she a good kisser?" she hissed

"I don't remember" Mello said plainly "I don't remember her, it was nothing"

Emma insisted on facing away from him as if withholding eye contact was going to make it any easier. He was coated in defensiveness– he owed her nothing, she had no right to berate him for this. If he was really just looking for some female company he could just text Leah and get it over with, this whole situation could go unresolved for all he cared. Maybe it was the slight buzz of the beers he'd had tonight coupled with way she insisted on treating him like he had betrayed her.

"It was far from nothing. You made me the fool"

"Who cares what they think, you said it yourself just yesterday"

"I care" her voice came loud and angry "I'm not a backup. Especially not to some desperate little slut like Leah" her expression was saturated with disgust

Mello paused. He observed the brunette: her tone, her posture, her air. Suddenly it wasn't too hard to understand that he had hurt her ego. "She's not important" he offered " I'll take you on a date, how's that?"

Her eyes softened and her jaw unclenched, leaving behind only sadness lingering on her face. A long moment went by, a car paused in front of the house but it turned out not to be her ride.

"The Ferris wheel on the pier" she answered softly

The blonde arched an eyebrow at the specificity of the location, he could tell there was more to that answer than she was letting on "oka-"

"I'll only go if you text Leah that you want nothing to do with her, otherwise I never want to hear from you again." Her tone was stern.

Mello's head cocked to the side ever so slightly, he huffed in disbelief "are your threatening me?" Who the hell did this girl think she was? Did she not realize we had already knee-deep in feeding into her bullshit?

"No Mello, I'm not _threatening_ you" she turned to stand right in front of him and neared her face to his so that all he could smell was that sugar-sweet essence of hers. Her voice was drenched in venom "I'm giving you a choice"

Mello's blue eyes thinned into an icy glare. A taxi parked in front of the house, this time it was definitely waiting on someone. His temper was starting to heighten and something in him suggested he shove the girl into that cab and forget about it. However, he wasn't comfortable with the thought of having bad blood between them, a line had been crossed. He took his phone out of his pocket and opened a new text message, inserting a simple-yet-effective rejection below it. Once he was done he held up the screen to Emma's face "happy?"

 _I'm not interested– Mello_

The brunette's expression, spotlighted in the night by the green glow of the phone screen, turned to sick satisfaction. She lifted her finger to the keypad and pressed the 'send' button, "happy. Text me." She sprang to her tiptoes and planted a cold kiss on his cheek, and then ran off towards the car that awaited.

Mello sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. What a mess. The front door was left unlocked so he could go back inside and reunite with Matt and Dan, who were currently downstairs playing another videogame and lighting up. As he walked back into the basement the sound of roaring laughter caught his attention: his roommate and Matt were both sitting on the floor letting the game go solo as they cackled at something or other. The blonde sat down on the couch, arms crossed, eyebrows knitted.

"Huh… you look PO-ed" remarked Dan, offering him the joint "this will help"

"I'm good" said Mello thinking he wasn't in the mood to insert another substance into his body

"Alright then" Dante took a long drag and held it in his lungs before releasing a big cloud of smoke. "Matt and I just had the best idea, ready?" He passed the joint to Matt, who's eyes watered from his laughing moments ago, and changed his position to face Mello from the floor. The dark-haired boy cleared his throat "so it's a regular café except there's all these vintage video games you can play for free. Mario Kart, Tekken, Crash Bandicoot… you know, all the good ones. If you get hungry, there's like, pizza slices, soda, ice cream, and all that stuff, so you can just pretty much go in and play all day, no problem"

Mello nodded "you mean like an arcade?"

Matt and Dante looked at each other with disbelief that their genius idea was nothing more than a regurgitation. The redhead shook his head "shit"

They broke into thunderous laughter as if on cue, gasping in air periodically "how did we miss that?" begged Dan

Mello looked at Matt in disbelief– the third smartest person in an orphanage for the gifted reduced to this? Whatever they were smoking was doing a great job at turning his brain to mush. "I changed my mind" he said taking the joint from Matt, who was bent over still cackling, and took a gentle drag.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sour Cherry**

 _Shout when you wanna get off the ride_

* * *

Mello took a sip of his hot chocolate, getting lost in the rich flavor for a moment. He licked his top lip and a smile threatened to creep onto his expression due to the sheer delight of his favorite drink. The hot chocolate stands that popped up around town during these months made him forgive the ungodly temperatures and unforgiving weather. He basked in the aftertaste: a lingering sweetness carrying warm tones of cacao. It was a beautiful sensation cut short by the sudden sound of splashing that broke his concentration. Mello followed the sound from the ground up to his date's cardboard cup: she was pouring out some of her drink onto the ground for some unforsaken reason.

"What's the matter with you? You coerce me into getting you hot chocolate and now you're wasting it?" He asked with offense, pausing their walk

"Relax, I'm just making some room" Emma explained as she took a flask out of her bag and unscrewed it.

Mello watched with a feeling nearing disgust as she poured some mysterious liquid into her drink, most certainly ruining the flavor. She moved to pour some into his cup next, but he reacted quickly by blocking the flask with his hand "no way."

Emma laughed "seriously? It's just whiskey, it'll keep you warm" she said and attempted once more to near the flask to the blonde's precious hot chocolate. He was starting to think he had been blinded to the amount of alcohol others his age were consuming on a daily basis, so far all of these private school kids showed to have an intimate relation with mind-altering substances.

He placed a hand over the paper cup, rejecting it a second time "no, get that away"

Emma rolled her eyes "suit yourself." She took a swig from the small silver container before tucking it back into her jacket pocket. The girl was still in her uniform, leading Mello to wonder whether she had carried alcohol throughout her school day.

She took a sip and did a little dance "mmm… it's so good, you're missing out"

"There's no way you didn't just ruin it. It was perfect on its own"

"Almost perfect" she insisted with a laugh, picking up the pace towards the fair once again.

The blonde followed suit, sticking by her side as they made their way on the cobblestone roads of Winchester. Their shoes lefts tracks on the ground given the thin layer of frost that had collected throughout the day. He would periodically near the hot chocolate to his lips, taking small sips at a time to maximize the enjoyment of flavor. This was a habit he applied even when he was consuming hard chocolate bars: the boy would bite off small pieces and let the melt on his tongue for as long as it had to. Emma, on the other hand, was done with hers before they even reached their destination and disposed of her cup by tossing it into a nearby trashcan as she walked by. Mello tried his best to not overact towards the utter blasphemy that had just taken place.

"I'm never doing anything nice for you again" he stated with annoyance

Emma looked at him from the corner of her eye "but why? I am infinitely grateful you sacrificed some spare change for me, really" she said sarcastically, mocking the fact that both drinks had only been a couple pounds total.

The blonde sighed "you're insufferable" he mumbled, linking his arms with hers to lead the brunette towards the line to ride the wheel.

There were only a few people ahead of them, seeing as the weather wasn't exactly favorable towards riding the contraption with wet clumps of ice falling from the heavens. People either gravitated towards the ice skating rink or wandered around the small booths selling sweets, mulled wine, hot drinks, and crafts. With very little else to do in Winchester, the so-called fair was receiving a thin crowd even though it was a Wednesday afternoon. Mello and Emma stood behind an older couple and a mother with a child, waiting for the pods to spin around and carry them up. Emma's eyes followed the wheel as she counted the seconds for their turn to arrive. When their pod finally came, she quickly dove in to take a seat and tugged the boy to sit down next to her. Mello was amused at her enthusiasm over such a simple ride, one he had deemed boring ever since he was young and had therefore never bothered to stand in line for in years.

"What do you see in this?" He asked, relaxing into his seat

"Hm?"

"Why did you pick this for our date?"

"Oh… yeah, well" she looked out the side window, watching as everything got smaller the more they rose up into the sky. "I really like coming up here but no one's ever really in the mood" her face turned to Mello, her chin resting on his shoulder. "I guess I took advantage of your offer, do you hate it?"

"No… I don't think anything of it" he admitted. It was a slow ride. A long ride. Besides, this town didn't have much to look at even from above, it was a lousy excuse to add something to the local tourist guide at best.

"Huh..." with her face being so close to his he could feel her warm breath as she spoke "I thought you'd be into sitting above everyone else for a few minutes"

"Excuse me?"

"That's why I like it, everyone looks so small and insignificant from up here. You like being on top, too, I can tell" her chin left his shoulder "I mean, come on. The way you dress, the way you talk… you think you're better that everyone else"

"Is this your idea of a date?" The blonde's tone was severe; his voice grew louder "trapping me in this thing just so you can judge me?" Emma laughed, which only irritated him more "what is it with you? One minute you're telling me to blow off some chick for you and then next you criticize–"

He was cut off by the pressure of Emma's lips against his. At first he froze, unsure of what had just happened, but then his lips eased onto hers. An eon passed by the time she pulled back "no, I agree. I think you're better than everyone else too"

Mello's brow eased, softening his expression. He felt his chest swell even though he knew she was most likely just telling him what he wanted to hear– it didn't matter, not right now. His eyes scanned the person immediately in front of him, taking in every detail of her face: the high cheekbones, the almond eyes, the roundness of her lip, the freckles speckled across her nose bridge. The sight frozen in time painted the picture of a sweet face, the kind you'd expect to find reading a book on a park bench or enjoying an ice cream cone along the sidewalk. This wasn't the face of someone who verbally accosted strangers and shot whiskey on a Wednesday afternoon.

It took a moment, but the boy finally took control and rushed back in for a second kiss, pulling her in by the chin and efficiently darting his tongue into her mouth. He tasted chocolate, sugar, and ethanol. She kissed him back at first but was quick to reach for the reigns once again by using her teeth to clasp down on his bottom lip. Mello's lips stretched in three directions as he smiled and pulled back sharply to free himself from her bite. Her eyes fixated on his mouth and glided down to his chin before leaning in again to gently suck at his lower lip, it wasn't until he moved to deepen the kiss that he learned he was bleeding. It didn't sting, it wasn't much despite the overbearing metallic taste– barely enough to leave a spot of red on her chin. He wiped his mouth with his gloved fingers and reached to clean her face with his thumb.

Their pod was nearing the ground once again but they didn't get off, sitting in the same spot as it passed the ground and swept them back up as requested by Emma. With no one else in line, it wasn't an issue. She took the flask out once again to drank some more of the golden liquor, swallowing three times, and handed it to Mello. He drank a small (nearly symbolic) amount and handed it back. Instead of screwing the top on and putting it away the brunette stood up and took advantage of their position above the water to chuck the container out of the open gap above the door to the pod. The boy watched as the silver flask flew out into the distance and dove into the cold dark waters.

"That thing… is cursed" the girl explained with a lazy tongue, reclaiming her seat. She used her index fingers to push blonde strands away from her date's face. "I was going to get rid of it the first time around but I missed my chance"

Mello let out a chuckle, drinking what was left of the hot chocolate in his cup "you have a strong arm"

Emma lifted her arm into a right angle, pretending to flex "these puppies can bring down a grown man"

The boy noticed the ride had climaxed for a second time and they were beginning their descent "are you ready to get off this time around or should I get comfortable?"

The brunette laughed "we can get off" her cheeks were pink from the amber in her blood "do you have any cigarettes on you?"

"No, I usually just take Matt's."

* * *

Matt sat at the foot of his bed looking through a pile of plastic CD cases and reading them front and back, sometimes even peeking into the booklet tucked inside. The room was quiet save for the droplets of rain and clumps of slush hitting their bedroom window and the occasional thunder roaring in the distance. On the parallel bed, on identical white linens, laid Mello on his stomach reading a softcover book with wet hair sticking to his face.

"What's that?" The blonde asked, glancing over to the mess of CDs on his roommate's bad

"Dante said I should listen to these" replied Matt without lifting his eyes from the cover he was currently reading

"So… you just do as he says?"

Matt could feel the instigation in the question but knew better than to feed into it, he sighed "if you want you can listen with me." He took the Discman Dan had given him that very same day and picked The Rolling Stones' _Sticky Fingers_ as the first to play.

Mello looked back at his book and assumed a position of disinterest, but after reading a few sentences he shut the pages closed. The boy stood up from his bed and walked over to Matt's, sitting with his legs crossed next to his roommate, taking one of the earphones for himself. The sound of a guitar strum came in first, followed by the ragged voice of a man – by the time the first chorus came around he caught himself bobbing his head gently to the music. Matt looked at him with a smug grin on his face. Mello looked down at the CD case next to them and picked it up, studying the image on the cover: a snapshot of a denim-clad male crotch, the outline of a penis clearly visible through the fabric

"Dante gave you this?" He remarked, turning it over to show Matt. The redhead took back the case and rolled his eyes

"Grow up. It's Andy Warhol, it's _art_ " he emphasized, taking the case back and placing it face-down on the bed. "How was your date?"

Mello kept a straight face, rolling up the sleeved of his black crewneck sweater "it was fine"

Matt huffed a laugh "yeah, I can see that" he assured, referring to the bloody spot on his roommate's lip. It was enough to warrant a change of topic by Mello's standard of openness

"How was hanging out with Dan today?"

Matt gave his best friend a half-smile "fine, we just… hung out." He knew Mello well enough to avoid sparking a sense of competition in him, so his answer greatly understated how happy he'd been even from the very moment Dan reached out.

It all started the night before when he got a text message from Dante inviting him for high tea, which he had happily agreed to in anticipation of leaving the confines of the Wammy house for a few hours. During breakfast he extended the invitation to Mello, but as it turns out he had a date with Emma he had failed to mention until the very last minute.

"I've never heard you call it that before" he had teased while buttering a piece of toast

"That's because this is actually a date"

"Huh… how did she corner you into this one?"

"You always say I treat girls like shit. I'm trying a new approach just to show you I'm better than that, Matty" diverted the blonde, leaning back in his chair before an empty plate once filled with breakfast food

"Right… this is all about impressing me, somehow" the redhead shook his head "you're whipped." Perhaps that was pushing it a bit.

"Oh, fuck you" growled Mello, his hand lounging for the collar of the gamer's shirt to pull him into a susceptible position, balling his free hand into a fist "say that again, I fucking dare you." Definitely pushed it.

The rest of the morning was spent avoiding his roommate until his mood subsided. He took cover in the library by the history section and extracted notes from his assigned readings for a few hours until lunchtime, when it was time for them to find each other and eat together as usual. The two had eaten almost every meal together for the past eight years since they first became friends, with a few exceptions that could be counted on one hand. Matt ceded Mello his portion of dessert and all was forgiven. The boys spend the rest of the day doing their work side by side, taking breaks to play with Matt's Gameboy or complain about the annoying habits of their foster brothers and sisters.

When it was about time both of them parted for their respective playdates, they let Roger know they'd be back by curfew and left the gates together, splitting at the corner where their paths diverted towards Dan and Emma respectively.

Matt followed the now-familiar route to Dante's house and was greeted by the boy still sporting his school uniform, his staple smile dancing on his face. This time around, when the Wammy boy was led straight for the basement where soft rock was playing and the table was laid out with a tea set and several varieties of cookies in their original plastic packaging. They took a seat on opposite sides of the only couch in the room, angling towards each other.

"Oh wow, you actually meant it" Matt said, picking up a chocolate chip cookie from the nearest package. It wasn't high tea by the book, but it was a lot more effort than one could've expected from a teenaged boy.

Dan laughed "of course I meant it, I'm a man of tradition" he opened a wooden box containing several flavors of tea "what will it be?"

Matt leaned in to peer into the selection and settled for a vanilla-flavored black tea.

Dante gave a nod of approval "good choice, I think I'll join you." He took another bag of the same flavor and began making his cup: one teaspoon of sugar and no milk. Matt, on the other hand, added a cloud of milk and two sugars, preferring his tea on the sweeter side. The redhead stirred his cup, taking a sip and enjoying the warm aroma with a deep inhale– the sweet scent relaxed him instantly.

"I rolled this earlier" Dan pulled out a wrinkled joint out of his pocket, holding it out to show Matt "are you down?"

"Are your parents… okay with it?" Matt asked hesitantly

"Dad works late" replied Dan with a shrug, taking an Oreo and a sugar cookie and stacking them "it's all good" he assured biting into both cookies at once

"Huh… must be nice to have the place to yourself" the Wammy boy remarked, pulling a red lighter from his pocked and passing it to Dan

"Oh yeah. I've come to love it– as long as I don't cause a lot of trouble I'm pretty much free to do whatever" the dark-haired boy bragged as he lit the joint. "You probably don't get much alone time with it being a boarding school and all, huh?"

"No. It gets annoying from time to time" the redhead admitted "I think I've forgotten what absolute silence is like" he added, lifting his tea for another sip

"I don't appreciate silence enough. I'm always drowning it out with…" the boy motioned to the sound system "it's a habit, I guess"

"What are you playing right now?"

Dan leaned over to grab the ashtray and set it on the couch between them "Simon and Garfunkel. Do you like it?"

"Yeah"

"Yeah?" Dante's naturally slated eyes fixated on the redhead "what do you usually listen to?"

Matt paused to try to think and sighed, his eyes gliding to look at the floor "I guess whatever classical anything is playing in the common room" he admitted feeling somewhat ashamed.

Dan shook his head "tsk tsk tsk." He took a sip from his tea and a drag from the joint, "that's a shame, there's so much out there." He passed the joint to Matt and set his mug on the coffee table "I can't let you go on like this." The boy stood up from the couch and walked over to the pile of CDs on one end of the room, pulling some out one by one and taking his time to consider each. Matt watched silently as the boy sifted through his collection of music, his long legs crouched, awkwardly large hands moving carefully.

Once Dan had five CD cases in his hand he stood up again and returned to Matt, accepting the joint back as he proudly presented his selection. "So these are my… building blocks. Just take them and bring them back when you're bored of them" he laid them out on the space between them, exhaling a cloud of smoke " _Dark Side of the Moon_ is best when you're on your own, same goes for _Hail to the Thief_. _Nevermind_ is real good for a bad day, like when you just feel sick of everyone's shit, you know?" Matt nodded, enjoying every bit of Dante's excited tone as he guided him through the albums " _Speaking in Tongues_ is just a lot of fun and will make your morning that much better. Last but not least, _Sticky Fingers–_ partly because it's amazing and partly just because Mick Jagger was a babe."

Matt took the pile of CDs in his hands and smiled, but it his expression was short-lived "thanks, although… I don't really have somewhere to play these."

"Damn…" said Dan, biting his lower lip as he thought of a solution to the shortcomings of his musical exploration. "Hold on, I think I should still have…" his words trailed off. He left the couch once again, sliding the joint between Matt's index and middle finger "sit tight, I'll be right back"

Matt nodded, sipping his tea and taking a few drags while he waited patiently. It felt rather strange to be left alone in someone else's house. He looked through the covers of the CDs in his grip while his mind followed along to the soothing background music. It wasn't long before Dante rushed down the stairs again, clutching a Discman in one hand.

"I found it! It's good as new... it should work just fine" he handed the redhead the player attached to a set of black earbuds "might need some batteries but nothing fancy. You can keep it, I don't use it anymore"

Matt's face lit up at the sight of the device, "wow, thanks! A-are you sure? I can always bring it back if you need it"

Dan laughed "no, it's all yours. Feel free to come by and grab something new anytime, too"

Matt felt at a loss for words, he was in disbelief that someone would be this gratuitously nice to him without even knowing him that well. This wasn't something that would ever happen at the Wammy house, all the kids were wound up so tight and scarred to the point where they rarely forged friendships amongst them. Then there was Dan. This had only been the third time he had interacted with this kid in his life, but he already wanted to call him a friend. The redhead was filled with gratitude and a taste of sadness, knowing very well he didn't have anything he could give in return.

"I will" he agreed.

* * *

 **I think it's about time I go ahead and ask you guys what you think of the story so far. I want to improve my wiring so any feedback (good or bad) would be greatly appreciated! Feel free to let me know via comments or PMs.**

 **Much love,**

 **CGG**

 **Lyrics: Sour Cherry- The Kills**


	6. Chapter 6

**1979**

 _We were sure we'd never see and end to it all_

* * *

"I really don't see what you're upset about, you've been steadily improving your overall performance. Your test scores are at an all-time high, your reasoning is elegant, you're outperforming mostly everyone here. Even your seniors"

"That's the problem! I'm so close, I just- I just-"

"Inhale"

The boy took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, feeling his heart rate settle "I'm… stuck"

Roger looked at Mello and nodded "I see." The old man opened the top left drawer of his desk and retrieved a notepad and a pen, putting them to work as Mello watched looking tired. This wasn't their first conversation of the sort and it certainly wasn't the first time he had been shut down by that godforsaken notepad. "Mihael, it would greatly benefit you to take these appointments with Mrs. Crowe seriously" he stretched a tweed-clad arm over the desk and offered the boy the piece of paper. The blonde looked at it with annoyance and snatched it, stuffing it in his pocket in such a way that the crumpling of paper was audible. Roger pushed his spectacles back to rearrange them onto the top of his nose bridge. The tradition of ranking the Wammy students could be traced to a time long before L was even in the picture, but in his experience Mello had the most adverse reaction to the system yet. The irony lied the fact that it was this very obsession with the ranking that obstructed him in doing his best– the boy's emotionality and inferiority complex worked hand in hand to stick him with second place. "I'll ask that you complete a good number of sessions before coming to me about this again. Raising your academic load is not the solution, not for you."

Mello's head hung in defeat, he nodded without saying anything further. They had just gotten their test results and once again he had fallen in second place– the report didn't specify where others stood but he knew exactly who has hogging the top. It had been this way for years, and he was afraid things wouldn't change quickly enough for him to be able to prove he was worthy of succeeding L. Sometimes he would pray the white-headed boy would vanish into thin air, hoped he would just leave this existence, wished he could see his effort pay off for once.

"Dinner should be served soon, and please try to get a good amount of sleep tonight" Roger's tone was stern but held a tinge of fatherly worry.

The blonde nodded once again and bid a quiet "thank you" as he headed for the door of the office, closing it behind him. His fists clenched, his jaw was shut tight, he could feel everything inside him boil with frustration and anger towards Roger, towards Near, towards this place, and especially towards himself. He grumbled something or other and before he could stop himself his leg swung a sturdy kick at the bookcase to his right– a few books fell loosely to the ground landing with heavy thuds, causing the few nearby orphans around him to jolt in surprise. Eyes all around darted towards him with equal parts fear and wonder. "What are you looking at?" he barked at one of the boys, who jumped back and shook his head to signal he wasn't looking for trouble. The tangible timidity coming from him made him feel a little better: at least the other orphans were able to understand who was boss.

Matt lied on his bed clutching a Gameboy and listening to music when he heard the door to their room swing up and slam closed. He took his earphones out and propped himself up on his elbows, watching as Mello forcefully kicked off his favorite boots, yanked off his shirt, shed his belt and unbuttoned his pants on the way to the bathroom, slamming that door shut as well. The distinctive sound of the shower being turned on came seconds later. Uh oh. The redhead reached to his side to pause his Discman and saved his current game before tucking both gadgets into his night stand. He stood up off the bed and straightened his jeans as he mulled over the possible reasons for his roommate's current explosive temper. Mello admittedly had a short fuse, but his only-a-long-hot-shower-could-help anger wasn't a common occurrence.

The boy left the room, jogging down the stairs and making his way to the kitchen. A waft of dinner being cooked hijacked his senses when he opened the door the kitchen quietly trying not to be detected. He slipped around the kitchen counter, past the sink, and into the walk-in pantry in search for the one thing that he knew his best friend needed right now. To his dismay, the spot where one usually could find the chocolate bars was completely empty. "Fucking brats" he cursed under his breath, knowing this must be the work of the rat pack of prepubescents that always left a trail of candy wrappers in the library. Time for plan B.

Matt rushed back up the stairs and into his room, quickly gathering his jacket, keys, money, and cellphone. He strapped his feet into his black boots and ran down towards the main entrance of Wammy's noting he'd have to hurry if he wanted to make it back in time for his roommate's emergence from his shower. The redhead jogged down the streets of Winchester towards the corner store nearest to them, picking up the pace as he spotted it in the near distance. A bell rang when he opened the door, signaling the cashier that a customer had arrived. He knew exactly where to find the candy isle so it took no time to find what he was looking for: a sharing-size Cadbury milk chocolate bar.

Prize in hand and panting from the physical exertion he approached the front of the store and pulled out some cash, going through the motions of the transaction while he glanced over at the row of cigarettes behind the counter. "And a pack of Marlboro reds" he instructed, pulling out a couple more bills from his pocket. The items were handed back to him in a small white plastic bag by thin man with five-o-clock shadow, his change set down on the counter next to it. Matt stuffed the money in his pocket and picked up the bag, but just as he turned to leave he stopped in his tracks and surprise struck his expression.

Behind him in line stood Drew: the muscular square jaw whose fist had collided Mello's face last Tuesday, sparking an unpresented series of events since. The tall boy's dark eyes scanned him from the top down, and Matt stood immobilized by his stare. "I know you" the brute stated, his scowl turning into grin with realization "you're that guy from the uh- that house across the church." The vibrant color of the boy's hair and the golden goggles hanging from his neck were unmistakable.

The redhead nodded nervously, unable to decide whether he should leave while he was ahead or stay and try to be cordial "Matt"

"Matt" the boy repeated, sliding his own items (a bag of chips and a box of condoms) onto the counter "Drew" he pulled out his wallet and paid his dues without giving the cashier any attention "I didn't mean to, by the way. The uh-"

"Oh, he's fine" the Wammy boy reassured, internally scolding himself from expunging the bully of guilt for knocking his roommate to the ground.

Drew took his items in an identical small white plastic bag and smirked "yeah, I heard" he remarked with a tone that he was implying something even though Matt was sure he hadn't caught his drift. "Anyways, have a good one Matt" the little bell announced Drew's departure out the door, leaving Matt to stand in the store for a moment processing the awkwardness of the conversation. He replayed the interaction in his head on his way back to Wammy's and wondered why the universe was testing him like this as of late.

* * *

Matt came back into the room quietly and spotted Mello sitting on the bed, facing away from him while wearing only a black pair of jeans with a dark burgundy towel draped over his damp hair. Matt treaded carefully as he prodded "Mells?"

Mello sat unmoving, staring out the window across the room from him lost in thought. It wasn't until the gamer spoke up a second time that he turned to look at him: his usually pearly skin was now blotched red from the hot shower he'd just emerged from and still sported a faint bruise on his cheekbone. Matt took out the chocolate bar from the bag and presented it to him, taking a seat on the bed next to the blonde. He shook off his jacket– the fabric, still holding the outside temperature, felt cold as it brushed momentarily with the other's hot skin. The redhead bend over to unties his ice-crusted boots. Mello began to tear the wrapper of the candy knowing exactly where it was best to tear and tug for the foil to remain re-sealable.

"Thanks" he mumbled, taking the first nip at the treat. He melted into the taste of his absolute favorite chocolate bar: it felt cold against his tongue even as it melted, it cracked easily without being too soft, and it had the perfect amount of sweetness for his taste. It was a real bummer Wammy never stocked these.

Matt pulled the boots of his feet with some effort and sat back up "do you want to talk about it?"

Mello shook his head no.

The redhead nodded and stood up to move to his own bed and retrieve his music and videogames, once again assuming the position he was in before the blonde first walked into the room: lying down with his had propped by by a pillow. The only noises in the room where sound of chocolate being broken off now and then, and the faint sound of songs escaping Matt's headphones. A few minutes passed before Mello stood up to finish getting dressed and gently towel dry his hair as much as possible.

Matt's entire focus was consumed by passing the current level, so he was startled when the mattress of his bed dipped and bounced as his roommate took up the remaining space on the surface to lie down next to him. The redhead scooted to his left to give the blonde some more room, but didn't dare to look at him in the eye. Mello plucked the earphone on the opposite side of him and placed it in his own year. His hands crossed on his stomach as he lay down and listened to Radiohead with his eyes closed. The redhead held the game in his hands but the pixelated character on the screen remained immobile as he tried to normalize the situation in his head. Despite being best friends for years, there had always been this wall of physical distance between them. They had shared a bedroom for longer than any other pair of roommates in the Wammy house, yet they had never gotten cozy. Mello was visibly nonchalant about it, lying in complete relaxation. Matt, on the other hand, didn't know what to make of his reaction to such a simple gesture.

They moved only when the CD had reached its end– it couldn't have been longer than half an hour. Mello took the earphone out of his ear and lifted himself off the bed to go fetch a sweater from his closet. Just like that the moment was over. Matt relaxed all the muscles he hadn't even realized he was straining and put his game down without saving the little progress he had made. From the outside the only thing out of place were some stray strands of hair, victims of the pillowcase, but on the inside his veins were coursing with electricity. He turned off the Discman and put it away, knowing it was about time they came downstairs to fetch some dinner. The voices of orphans talking and walking up and down the hall came muffled, their footsteps creating a dancing pattern of light coming from the gap under their door.

Today's menu was rosemary chicken, mashed potatoes, salad, and vanilla ice cream for dessert. The two boys filled their plates with food and walked over to the dinner tables, but found there were only three lone seats located separate from each other. The redhead was ready to resign, but his roommate had a different idea in mind. Mello walked over to one of the kids sitting next to one of the empty seats and set down his plate on the table right next to the kid's own.

"Go sit over there" he instructed, motioning to an empty seat at a different table. The kid, despite being around their same age and and having no obligation to show respect, put down his silverware and obliged by transporting his plate to the seat he was assigned. Matt watched wondering at what point in time Mello had gained so much uncontested influence in this household– he knew his roommate had shown to be unafraid of resorting to physical force, but it was still odd. He knew Mello too well and had seen him in a vulnerable state too many times to see the surface-level autocrat other knew him as. Nonetheless, he followed suit and sat down next to him, beginning to eat his vegetables to get them out of the way.

"What other music do you have?" asked Mello to break their silence "I mean… I liked what you were listening to, but it's kind of miserable"

Matt smiled and popped a cherry tomato in his mouth "we can look through the others I have upstairs"

"How many do you have?" questioned the blonde as he knifed a chicken breast

"Five"

"That's it? You should get more"

Matt laughed. This was classic Mello: blind to the boundaries of life "they're not mine. I'd have to borrow more from Dante" he explained as he piled some mashed potatoes onto hiss fork

"Get more next time, there's only a few songs on each"

"How many are you suggesting?"

"A stack. Like ten or so" Mello stabbed the few greens in his plate with his fork and got it over with in one bite

"I'll see what I can do" agreed Matt, starting to dig into his own chicken "you could also come with me next time I go over…"

Mello paused his eating and thought about it "yeah, maybe. He's nice"

"But…"

"But I think he's hiding something"

Matt's eyebrows cinched into a quizzical look "hiding something? What could he be hiding?" The redhead searched through his interaction with Dante to try to pinpoint what could possibly be triggering this reaction from Mello. They had only hung out all together a couple of times: once at Angie's party and once while playing videogames. Nothing strange had happened in either of those occasions, making him think Mello was probably overacting or making it up to put down Dan.

"I don't know, I can't put my finger on it… I guess you'll find out if you keep going over there, though"

"Well, now you're just making me nervous" the redhead said with a worrisome look on his face "you mean 'hiding something' as in he's fake, or 'hiding something' as in bodies?"

Mello laughed "I don't know, probably nothing serious" he noticed the uneasy on his roommate's face "you know I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

* * *

 **Heh, hoped you liked this chapter even if there wasn't much action. I'm going on a short trip but I should be able to post the next chapter soon enough... all in all I plan to complete this story no matter what!**

 **If you have any feedback I'd love to receive it~**

 **-CGG**

 **Lyrics: 1979- Smashing Pumpkins**


	7. Chapter 7

**Black Tongue**

 _Don't tell me to fix her_  
 _Just take a bite_

* * *

"Just come home with me, I'll lend you some clothes" the girl insisted, starting to make her way away from the school gates

"Maybe I should go home just to check in,"

"You can use my phone to call your mom's office when we get there, I'm sure it'll be fine"

"We'll just be at your house, right?"

"Yeah. I mean… there's nothing going on tonight"

"On a Friday, too. We haven't had a night for just us two in a while"

The brunette laughed "these pesky boys always get in the way." She tightened her jacked around her neck

Angie rolled her eyes and adjusted her backpack onto her shoulders "please… you love it"

Emma gave her a look, "love what?" This was the first afternoon in a while where the sun was fully shining by the time the last bell rang. The first sign winter would soon melt away.

"You know…" the raven-haired girl searched her head for the right way to word this "having them around"

Emma looked at her best friend from the corner of her eye "and you don't, my pure little angel Angie?" She teased, her voice softened into a sing-song.

Angie shook her head "no, it's different" she insisted while pulling her hair into her signature high ponytail, her glossy locks being pulled through the hair tie a couple of times "I really like the guys, but I also miss having girlfriends"

Emma's eyebrows furrowed, "what is there to miss about them?" Her tone was suddenly serious and indignant. The raven-haired girl quickly realized she had ventured into a subject infamous for bringing back touchy memories.

"Em, I didn't mean-"

"No, I know exactly what you mean. You think it's all going to be sleepovers, makeovers, and painting each other's nails, right? Wake the fuck up, Ange. Just because some time has gone by and now everyone iss nice to you because you're pretty doesn't mean it's not the same bitches that-"

"I know!" Angie's came as a burst. Emma's face turned to look at her, surprised by the sudden reaction. The girl's voice lowered "I know nothing has changed… I just wish something would, I guess"

Emma pursed her lips with a pained look on her face, in a way regretting having snapped at her best friend. A few silent minutes passed by before she dared to speak up again "me too." Angie's expression was downcast, her usually glimmering stare was lost in thought "but hey, we have really cool friends and the same people that used to tell you you smelled like curry and called you a terrorist would pay good money to suck your toe now"

"Emma! That's disgusting," Angie exclaimed, causing the brunette to burst into laughter,

"Just last week Lucy Barkow told me Charlie Fuerst was asking about you during lunch time"

"Fuerst?" Angie asked with confused annoyance. The image of the boy's horse face and lewd rhetoric was retrieved clearly in her head: he had once tossed her lunch in the garbage as kids "that's disgusting,"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I told Lucy" agreed Emma, amused at the fact she had actually used those exact words back in the initial conversation. After spending so much time together and getting to know every nook and cranny in one another, the two girls had come to share the same opinions on almost everyone at school.

Angie chuckled "I heard from someone in the track team that he's so small she thought he was using his fingers but he was already inside of her" she revealed in a quiet secretive tone. Emma's face showed a mixture of disbelief and disgust

"Shut up!" she giggled "that explains so much"

"Right? No wonder he's so such a show-off"

"Definitely compensating. Why would she be under him in the first place, though?"

Angie shrugged "dunno. She was drunk, I hope"

"Must've been, I seriously don't see how-" Emma stopped mid-sentence as her eyes caught sight of a jarring presence straight ahead "you again?"

Angie followed her line of sight towards three girls blocking the sidewalk, each of them wearing the same uniform from a different school and heavy eye makeup. She looked back at Emma and noticed the defiant glint in her eye, feeling utterly confused about who these girls were and how they knew each other. Angela knew everyone Emma knew and vice versa, so she found it especially odd that she didn't recognize the faces staring back at her: a slender chick with rosacea, a squat lass with straight bangs across her face, and the centerpiece. The tallest of the three pulled a red popsicle out of her glossed mouth and tossed it to the side into the street. The girl wore pink and black tennis shoes, her thick legs packed tightly into white knee-high socks, a skirt wrapped around her waist down to mid-thigh, plastic jewelry hung from her neck and wrists, colorful clips adorned her neat up-do.

"You remember me, yeh?" The stranger asked with a smug look on her face.

"Rather hard to forget a mug like yours, don't you think?" Emma snapped back, recognizing everything about her from Angie's birthday party when she had found her and her posse lounging in the birthday girl's room without permission. "What the hell do you want?" she prompted, crossing her arms in front of her. Angie stood silent, wondering why her best friend was responding so daringly to the heavy-set girl that could easily take both of them down. It was hard to tell whether she was bluffing or whether she had the situation under control.

"I just want to make it clear, no one talks to me like that and gets away with it. Especially not you" the contender was now removing her pink plastic earrings and passing her backpack to one of the girls standing behind her, making it very obvious she wanted to fight. Angie was so caught up in trying to put together the situation that she barely noticed as Emma removed her own backpack and set it on the floor next to her after scrambling to tie her hair up into a messy up-do in preparation for hair-tugging. The raven-haired girl fumbled in her thoughts trying to think of a way to intervene in what she could guess would be a physical argument. However, before she could play the role of mediator Emma had decided to throw another bluff into the encounter:

"Oh yeah? And what the hell are you going to do about it?" The brunette exclaimed, refusing to step down

"Em, stop-" Angie gasped and took a couple steps back as the lip-glossed fiend instantly tackled her best friend into the ground and the two began to struggle. Emma was quickly pinned down, as expected. "What the fuck?! Stop it!" Angela reached to grab the stranger by her jacket and attempted pull her off the tiny brunette, who was having to resort to flailing and clawing as her only defense

"Hey! Only one to a fight" declared a short girl with bangs holding on to the aggressor's backpack, tugging Angie away, but the girl's clasp on the jacket remained firm

"Fuck you, this is not a fair fight" insisted Angie, elbowing the other "get. Off. Of. Her!" she demanded, gritting her teeth and pulling harder.

Emma lied on the grown with her back to the concrete and wet frost, feeling it seep into her jacket as she tried her best to harm the girl firmly holding her down. She could smell her sickeningly strong perfume and her sweat all at once as her meaty face hung above her. The brunette reached up and dug her claws into her face, feeling herself run out of oxygen from the pressure on her torso. Her contender pulled back, briefly allowing her to take in a breath of air, and then came down to drive her fist into her face. Emma yelped and whimpered, trying to wriggle her way out. The sounds of urgency caused Angie to finally let go of the jacket and desperately look around for help: she needed something to end this fight instantly. The raven-haired girl spotted an empty beer bottle nearby and lounged to grab it, holding it firmly by the neck and working up the courage to smash it onto the assailant's skull. However, before she could carry out her last resort, and even before the girl with bangs could try to stop her, a chilling scream broke out.

The lip-glossed fiend jerked up, stumbling back, clutching the side of her face in pain, tears welling onto her contorted expression. Emma sat up, finally free, and spit out an object onto the concrete: a silver hoop piercing that had been attached to her contender's earlobe just moments before before she ripped it out with her teeth in a desperate attempt to win the fight. Her face was speckled with blood, the same blood that was now running down the loser's face and neck.

The empty beer bottle dropped to the floor and crashed. Angie froze for a moment to try to take in what had just happened, her mouth agape. For a second she felt she was about to throw up, but was able to hold herself together and help up her best friend, who was heaving for air and still burning with anger.

"Come near me again and I'll fucking kill you" Emma barked despite her current state. She bent over to pick up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, wasting no time in escaping the scene. She strutted around the three girls, who were huddled trying to stop the bleeding and crying. The brunette didn't as much as look back as she continued on her way triumphantly, although visibly shaking from the rush of adrenaline. Angie stayed close but kept a watchful eye over the three strangers even as they turned the corner and left them behind.

"Who the hell was that?" she begged, feeling her accelerated heartbeat in her chest. This wasn't the first time Emma had gotten into a situation of the sort, but it was the first time she had witnessed her resort to such a ruthless attack. They were both rattled for the first time in a long time.

Emma wiped her face and spit onto the floor a couple times "found them in your room last weekend during the party so I kicked them out and I guess they were still sour about it"

"Seriously? All that just because you asked them to leave?"

"Can you believe it?" assured Emma, knowing she had gone a bit further than just cordially asking them to exit the room that night, but choosing not to disclose.

"Animals" sighed Angie, studying the dark spot on her friend's face that would surely bruise badly in time, "she really got you. Is your mum home?" She asked, knowing they should think of a way to cover up her face if that was the case

"I think she's out with the flavor of the month" Em speculated, referring to her mother's ever-rotating repertoire of affairs "hurry, I need wash out or I'll hurl"

The two girls picked up their pace into a jog towards Emma's house, carefully avoiding the slippery ice sheets on the ground. Angie looked behind them to make sure they weren't being followed as soon as she spotted her friend's house in the distance: a three-story brownstone structure guarded by a black door, numbered with three golden 3's bolted onto the front. Emma pulled out her keys and opened the lock in a matter of seconds despite her shaking hands, heading straight for the guest bathroom to wash out her mouth in the sink. Angie pulled out the keys from the lock and shut the door, hanging her coat and scarf by the entrance and taking off her shoes– everything was quiet except for the sound of the brunette spitting out water and splashing her face clean. The raven-haired girl finally settled her pulse, feeling safe within these walls

"Do you need anything?" she asked peeking into the bathroom. The brunette lifted her dripping face, ponytail falling apart, stray wet hairs stuck to her forehead

"No, I'm alright" she dried her face with a hand towel and only then took off her wet jacket to hang it by the door as well "you can use the phone"

Angie nodded, walking over to the vintage black telephone sitting on a side table in the living room to dial her the number of her mother's work and extension. The line rang a couple times before the call was picked up

While the girl spoke to her mother, Emma made her way to the wine cellar and started sifting through the bottles to find something that wouldn't be missed: she settled for a bottle of red that still had the bright orange tags belonging to the grocery store, suggesting it wasn't anything fancy. As long as it wasn't expensive, she could get away with taking pretty much anything from the liquor cabinet. She scouted out the opener and forced out the cork with some effort, wincing at the loud pop of the bottle.

"Okay, okay. I'll call you after dinner. Yeah, she said it was alright. I'll call you later. Love you, bye" Angie put dow the phone, sighed and stood up off the couch, accepting the glass of wine that was handed to her "you know, it's not classy if you fill it up all the way"

Emma gave her a look of feigned disbelief "classy? I just ripped someone's ear"

"Fair enough"

"Let's go upstairs, I'll get you some pajama pants."

Their socks patted against the hardwood stairs as they climbed two flights to the top floor. Behind one of two wooden doors were her chambers: an all-white queen-sized bed stood in the middle of walls decorated with endless images of flowers. On one wall frames containing once-live butterflies were neatly arranged in an equally beautiful and unnerving display.

Emma walked in and headed for a set of drawers that held some of her clothes. She opened the drawer containing her pajamas and pulled out a set for herself, leaving it open for Angie to pick something to wear. The brunette put her wine glass down and began to unzip and unbutton her uniform, shedding the sweater, then the shirt, the skirt, and the black knee-high socks. She reached for her pajama top, but was interrupted by Angie swatting away her hands and poking the purple mark that stood underneath her left collarbone

"Wow, what the hell is that?" prodded the raven-haired girl, a devilish smile creeping onto her face "is it… what I think it is?"

Emma scowled "I'm trying to get dressed, weirdo"

Angie snorted a laugh "so it is. Damn, that's… that's a good one" she stated, plucking off her own uniform "I thought you said nothing happened"

"Nothing did, we just made out" said Emma, pulling on her bottoms

"Uh-uh, you never told me you got a hickey. What happened?"

Emma sighed "we bought some cigarettes and smoked a couple behind that stoop around the other side of the library" she picked up her wine and took a big sip "and then we made out some more, but that's it"

"Do you expect me to believe you didn't try to drag him back here and-"

"I did" said Em defensively, turning on her radio and tuning into the pop station that was broadcasting top hits with a sigh "it started raining, it fucked everything up."

Angie pulled on the pajama pants and picked up her glass of wine, taking a sip. She was puzzled by the shaken confidence in her ever-beaming best friend "huh… have you talked since?"

"No. He hasn't texted me so I thought I'd give him some space." Bingo– that was it.

Angie nodded, but worry rose within her– she hadn't thought this was anything but a game to Emma but now she saw there was a chance of her getting bruised by one-sided affection. "I think it's only common decency for him to reach out after, at least to make sure you got home okay"

The brunette took a gulp of her drink and shrugged "maybe he's just not that into me"

Angie shook her head "no, not possible" she denied, turning to her friend's vanity mirror and looking through her makeup bag to find some foundation "he would have to be an utter imbecile not to realize you're a grade-A babe"

Emma rolled her eyes, but smiled at her friend's attempt to cheer her up "oh please, I'm not about to carve my wrists over this, relax. Besides, it's no fun to just chase after him... it's actually kind of embarrassing" she admitted, taking a seat at the foot of the bed

"I think he just doesn't know what he'd doing," Angie proposed "he showed up to the party, he showed up to Dan's, he took you on a date. That's hardly being uninterested" she took a brush and pumped some of the makeup onto it

"I guess… should I text him then?"

"No! That's not what I meant. What I'm saying is…" she paused to think of her position and started dabbing on the brunette's face, beginning to work on covering up the evidence of the altercation "let him work it out on his own. Boys are dumb like that, it takes them longer to do the math"

Emma winced at the pressure being put on her sore cheekbone "sure? Maybe I should just send one to see if he replies-"

"No. As a matter of fact, you should scale it back. Like way back. You've made your move, you let him get to first base, and now you need to switch gears and let him work for it"

"Okay, I see what you're saying. So… no more making out"

"Not for now"

"Okay, and what do I do if he never texts me?"

"Move on. Just find some other dude who's into you"

Emma groaned, "but that's the whole point. All the guys at school are so gross"

Angie took a step back to look at her patch-up, noticing the foundation had done its job in covering the damage but now Emma only had freckles on one half of her face. She sighed and pumped some more makeup onto the brush, deciding it was best to just go the whole way "I know, but we're not the only school in town so don't fret."

* * *

 **AN: For those of you that have made it this far thanks so much for sticking around! I also want to thank those of you who have reviewed, it motivates me so much to keep working on this story. You rock.**

 **-CGG**

 **Lyrics: Date With the Night- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs**


	8. Chapter 8

**Gooey**

 _Mind my wicked words and tipsy topsy smirk_

* * *

The sound of laughter filled the walls of the room, the carpet stained here and there with red spots where splashes of wine had landed. Emma was the first to regain her breath, using her finger to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye as her laughter subsided "I can't believe you remember that"

"How could I forget? That was the first time you ever got angry at me" stated Angie, tipping what was left of her wine down her throat

"Was it really?"

"Yeah, I got scared you'd drop me as your friend and everything"

"Well I should've, that was so embarrassing!"

Angie chuckled "yeah, it was. I'm sorry, although it was pretty funny"

Emma shook her head "ugh, I miss the days you didn't say a word and agreed with me all the time" she put her empty glass down on the floor and pulled herself up onto her feet, walking over to the bathroom without shutting the door

"Do you? I wasn't any fun"

Emma's voice echoed in the tiled room as she sat down on the toilet to pee, "that's also true, but at least you didn't fuck with me back then"

"I used to be so scared of you. My only chance was to stay on your good side" Angie said. A buzzing sound came from the bed, beckoning the raven-haired girl to reach for it and peek at her friend's screen, although it wasn't Mello as she had hoped "Dan's calling you" her best friend would have to stand by a little while longer

The sound of flushing came from the bathroom "pick up"

Angie pressed the button to answer and then quickly selected the speakerphone option "what's up?"

"Can you believe you guys are my only friends?"

"Um, yeah. That checks out"

A sigh was heard over the speaker "how did this happen? I'm sitting home alone on a Friday night"

Emma climbed on the bed and kneeled next to the phone "aww, is Drew not down for boy's night? You can join our girl's night if you want, but you have to tell us all your secrets"

"Tempting. Are we talking fears and feelings or sexcapades?"

"The latter, obviously. Why would I give a damn about your feelings?"

Dante laughed on the speaker "where are you?"

"My house"

"Oh, come on. Let's go out" complained Dante: he was audibly burning with the need to leave his house

Angie shook her head and sighed "I have to be home by nine"

Emma cocked her head "wait, are your parents still mad about your birthday?" She knew there had been some issues after their gardener found some discarded bottles behind the bushes despite their thorough cleanup, but it had been a whole week since. This wasn't good, Ange was already on a tight leash and her parents already didn't like Emma for all the trouble they got into together. They'd have to be careful from now on– soon enough Angie's mother would have her locked in a tower and guarded by a dragon.

"You have no idea…" the olive-skinned girl lamented

"Damn. Well, I need you guys to figure something out because I took three tabs about half an hour ago and I can't get weird if my parents are around"

"How much acid is that?"

"Hard to tell. It's been sitting in my freezer for a while so it's probably not great. Want some?"

"No" Emma answered immediately "remember what happened last time you made me eat those mushrooms?" He did: she had curled up on the shag carpet and wailed uncontrollably for four hours no matter how much he turned up the volume to the Beach Boys.

"I'll never forget" he came to assume it probably had to do with the fact that for Emma psychedelic introspection meant looking into straight the pits of hell "well, ready or not I'm coming over." A click market the end of the call and the screen reverted to the main menu.

* * *

The doorbell rang, beckoning Emma down two flights of stairs to let Dante in

"What took you so long?"

"I uh… I started tripping like two blocks in and had to… gather"

Emma stepped aside to let the boy in and in the light she noticed how his dark brown irises were now almost completely eclipsed by his pupils "oh. Well, you just missed Ange"

"I kinda want to be outside right now"

The brunette nodded despite the abrupt change of topic "okay, sure" she complied even if it was cold outside and she really didn't feel like trading her pajamas for jeans "I need to change, come up for a minute"

Dante followed her upstairs, taking his time to climb up each step and therefore reaching the bedroom only after the girl had disappeared into the bathroom to change into weather-appropriate clothes. An accidental glance in the mirror reminded her than Angie had done her makeup to cover her bruise earlier, and a closer inspection proved she had done a really good job. The girl made a mental note to ask her to teach her some tips some other day when they had time on their hands.

She came back into the room, smiling as she spotted Dante fixated on the butterflies on her wall. Kneeling next to her bed, she blindly search for the bottle of Jameson she had stashed under there. It was only a fifth, a third-empty one, but it would be good enough to maintain her awake for a few more hours to keep Dan company. For a moment she wished she still had her flask.

"Alright, I'm good. Where to, Starman?"

"The park"

Their steps waterfalled down the stairs as they made their way to the exit. Emma turned on the porch light and locked the door behind her, stuffing the keys in her pocket where she kept a lighter and the cigarettes Mello had accidentally left with her a couple days back. If he wasn't going to text her then she'd reserve the right to smoke the pack he paid for. She linked her arm to the boy partially for warmth and partially to keep him close. Dan aimlessly looked all around him: the lights shrunk and grew in size in the night, the shadows of bushes and streetlamps on the concrete were mesmerizing dancing patters, and the sound of their steps composed an awkward beat… but a beat nonetheless.

"Do you feel like talking? I can keep myself busy if you just want to be in your head" came Emma's voice in the background

"Talking? Yeah" he agreed "coherent… I don't know"

Emma giggled "that's okay"

The walk to the park took much longer than it usually would as the two friends took it slow to discuss the shape of leaves and stopping every now and then to take a good look at a twiggy shrub or an interesting brick pattern on someone's front porch. A cigarette was lit along the way and they took turns smoking it down until it finally died between Dan's fingers during the time he took to study the embers. There was also a conversation about the texture of the fur on the rim of the hood of the girl's jacket, a moment of appreciation for instant fire of a lighter, and murmurs about the crunch of dead leaves. The hours passed them by seamlessly.

Once they reached the park, they sat on the swings and dangled in the air until their thighs felt numb and it was time to stand. They ventured towards the pond and stared at it for a long time looking for the fish that would swim in there during the warmer months, but the water was still. The two debated where the fish had gone, and whether the city put new fish in every spring or whether they were just sitting idly at the bottom. It eventually became so late the sound of cars and people ceased completely and the two of them were left in the dead quiet, accompanied only by the humming of the street lamps.

"I'm going to say something…" announced Dan as he sat down on the cold damp grass

"What's that?" She encouraged him, taking a seat next to the boy and noticing for the first time tonight that she was far from sober. From where they were sitting there was a faraway view of the water and the horizon, which was currently pulling in the boy's gaze

"It makes me happy you're thinking about someone else" he stated, the persistent grin on his lips growing even wider

Emma turned to face him– their friendship was all about outspoken jabs and unspoken caring, but having a peek at his soft spot for her was a rare occasion she would savor. Despite this, a croaked "me too" was all she could muster.

They sat in silence looking ahead and the soft ripples and the reflection of the moon, enjoying the simple beauty that Winchester could offer every once in a while. This town was much too small and forever unchanged to be exciting, but even this gosling of a place held its charm. Their musings were interrupted abruptly by a buzzing coming from the girl's jeans, making Dante's face contort into utter confusion, unable to perceive the sound as the vibrations of a commonplace cellular phone.

"Relax, it's just a call" the girl reached into the pocked to fish it out, her mouth falling agape at the sight of the name on the screen. She turned the device to face her friend, who reacted like his brain has collapsed into itself

"Wow, did I-"

Emma nodded "you did, you summoned him" she stated cheerily

He brought a hand to his face "holy shit. Wait, is that real?" His eyes grew wide

Emma began to laugh "yes, Dante! Mello is calling me right now, look" she brought the screen closer to his face but it just made it harder for his pupils to focus on the letters "you beckoned him with your thoughts" she insisted to toy with him

"Why are you not picking it up? It's a message from the motherfucking universe!" He exclaimed with genuine exasperation at the thought that the ringing might stop before she answered.

Emma's laughter intensified and even though she was struggling to catch her breath she clicked the button to accept the call. The brunette willfully settled her breathing and wiped a stray tear from her eye, sniffling from the cold "hello?"

"Are you crying?" came Mello's voice from the other end without shred of sympathy in his tone. It sounded like she was from his end.

Emma's voice vibrated with laughter threatening to take over again "no, I was laughing at Dan. What's up?"

"Oh" he sounded disappointed at the mention of the other boy "where are you?" One the other end of the line the blonde was sitting on his bed with a pissed off look on his face. After dinner Near had come by to congratulate Mello on his honorable mention for being second in the ranking of exam scores, and the blonde had snapped. Matt had to physically intervene and drag him back to their room, demanding that he left the house to clear his head and get some air.

"Just out and about taking Dante for a walk"

"Let's go watch a movie or something"

"Are the theatres even open right now?"

"We should be able to catch the last showing"

"Alright, but I have to bring the bonehead with me, I can't leave him out here"

"Fine, I'll bring my own" agreed Mello, tossing a glance at his roommate

Emma's giggled "see you there."

* * *

The only two showings left that night were a spy film or the third installment of a horror gore series– for the sake of Dante's psyche Emma insisted the spy film would be the better choice even if it had started just as they paid for tickets. The dark-haired boy wasn't even completely sold on the idea of going to the movies to begin with since it would mean pretending every inanimate object in sigh wasn't dancing for his eyes only for way too long. Matt and Mello were happy to be out of Wammy's for the night even if they were slightly confused about Dante's out of character silence and the persistent smile on his face.

"He's probably just really high" proposed Matt as he sipped on the large soda he had just purchased

"You think?" questioned Mello, not quite buying it. The two of them watched from a distance as Emma pried the dark-haired boy away from the movie poster he had been staring at intensely for an abnormal amount of time

"Let's go in before we miss out on too much" called the girl as she walked straight past them with a bag of strawberry gummies in one hand and Dante in the other.

Once inside they found the theater to be almost empty, so they took up any set of four seats without minding the ones assigned on their tickets. Matt was the first in, followed by Dan, Emma, and then Mello on the opposite end – the blonde always took the spot closest to the exit in case he needed to re-up on his supply of chocolate snacks. They four sat back and faced the screen, watching a handsome suited man being walked through some gadgets disguised as everyday objects. His lines of dialogue were limited to suave remarks and witty wordplay that only landed with the audience once every so often

"Why's everyone so quiet?" asked Dan, feeling peculiar about the way no one had uttered a word for a long time

Emma shushed him quietly and whispered to him "we have to be quiet so we don't interrupt the movie"

"Oh, duh" he replied without lowering his voice, amused at his own oversight. Matt raised an eyebrow at him but decided to remain impartial

Emma suppressed a laugh as she opened her bag of candies, but when she turned to offer one to Mello she noticed his eyes were fixated on Dante with a confused expression

"He's just really high" she whispered, and turned to focus on the screen, where her face remained immobile even as her hands traveled towards the small of her back, pulling out the Jameson she had tucked in the hem of her pants and hidden by keeping her coat on even after they had entered the building moments before. Her movements were slow yet precise as she unscrewed the top and took a swig, handing the bottle to Mello– this was starting to take the shape of a routine for the two of them. The blonde took a sip and winced at the taste before handing it back to the girl, who kept the bottle open and tucked between her thighs. Every so often she would bring it up again to take a sip and then pass it to Mello in a rhythmic back and forth; meanwhile the plot thickened when the hero on the screen slipped into his nemesis' hideout to catch him red-handed. Everything intensified as he was intercepted by some guards. The hero gave them a suave warning. Gunshots were fired.

Dante sprung onto his feet "can't do this" he stated as he hurriedly squeezed past Emma and Mello to reach the exit, leaving his winter coat behind. The girl moved to stand, but Matt motioned for her to stay put as he picked up the abandoned coat and went after the dark-haired boy. The girl and the blond exchanged a look, but sat back and returned to consuming sweets and liquor.

Once outside, Matt found Dan sitting on a bench in the hall with his hands on his face. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, but to his relief the other lifted his head to reveal he had a smile on his face

"Yeah, the lights just hurt my eyes" he assured him, and took a really deep sigh and let his arms fall on either side of him "I'm sorry, I'm just tripping really hard right now" he admitted without bothering to lower his voice.

A young uniformed woman posted nearby at the ticket checkpoint turned to the two boys with an expression of disbelief.

"Uh… o-okay" the redhead stuttered feeling unsure what to do now that he felt he was in charge: he couldn't take Dan back into the theater since the movie would surely only get more violent, and now that the uniformed woman was making her way towards them, staying put wasn't an option. "Let's get out of here" he commanded, pulling the boy to his feet and hurrying past the woman and towards the building's exit without letting go of him. Once outside he wrapped himself in his jacket huffing from the cold and handed Dante his, helping him figure out the zipper. Their panting was market by fog from their hot air clashing with the crisp night

"I'm so glad we're out of there" exclaimed Dante, "I'm sorry if you wanted to finish that-"

"No, it really wasn't that great" Matt concede without having to lie in the name of pleasantries, the movie was predictable and without watching the ending he could already guess what happened. It had all been an effort to get Mello out of his funk in the first place anyways. "Should we wait?"

"I dunno… how about we just go to your place?" Suggested Dan with both eyebrows raised

"My place? Do you really want to be in a boarding school in… your state?"

Dan chuckled, "well it's not like we're taking a tour of the fucking place, Matt. Let's go hang out indoors… at your place where I won't risk having to talk with my parents. Now, _that_ would really put me in a weird groove"

Matt shook his head, thinking of how he would get the boy in through the window and how he would hide the fact that the place was riddled with abnormally intelligent misfits "okay, sure" he muttered in his true push-over fashion.

* * *

 **Another one down! Are these chapters too short? Should I start making them longer?**

 **There's a big juicy plot twist coming up so stay tuned!**

 **As usual, your thoughts and musing are always appreciated. I'm always happy to hear what you have to say about the story or receive any tips for improvement.**

 **Love,**

 **CGG**

 **Lyrics: Gooey- Glass Animals**


	9. Chapter 9

**Bang A Gong**

 _Untamed youth  
_ _Dirty and sweet_

* * *

Emma could tell Mello was starting to wonder what was taking the boys so long by the way he watched the exit now and then to check if they were coming up "I'm sure they're fine" she whispered in assurance, even if she knew Dante had a tendency to find a way to always be in some sort of situation. She trusted Matt to guide them out of trouble's way, but only because she had no record of the kinds of shenanigans the redhead got himself into like Mello did.

The blonde finally gave in "I'll be right back" he whispered and got up off his seat to go find the other two, leaving the brunette as the last man standing in the theater. She rolled her eyes at no one in particular: she could have been at home in her pajamas eating Nutella out of the jar but she had (once again) let some boys drag her out. Now here she was: sitting drunk in a theater past midnight parallel to a couple audibly kissing two rows forth and a group of tweens making bad sexually-charged jokes a couple rows back. Such was life. She took the Jameson for another sip, noting there would be nothing left soon, which meant bedtime was due.

Outside in the hallway Mello searched the concession, the men's bathroom, peeked into the only other running theater, and even thought about looking in the women's bathroom for his roommate to no avail. He huffed, and muttered a "moron" under his breath.

"Are you looking for your friends? They just left" remarked the uniformed woman in charge of taking tickets with an annoyed look on her face

"Excuse me?"

"The ginger and a Chinese kid? They just left"

Mello's eye slit into an expression of displeasure, not because of the woman's insensitively generalizing remark regarding Dan's ethnicity, but because Matt had up and left without thinking to at least sending him a text. What was the point of sneaking cellphones around Wammy's if he wasn't even going to give it good use? The blonde strutted back into the movie theater to gather Emma and what was left of his candy. He picked up his coat and put it on, slipping the candy in his pocket.

"What are you doing?" Whispered Emma as she watched him

"Get your coat" he said without bothering to whisper

The girl began to stick her arms in the coat "what's wrong?"

"They left"

"They what?!" she stood quickly, forgetting the bottle was tucked between her thighs. The near-empty Jameson dropped to the ground and graced the moviegoers with a loud shattering noise. The couple paused their make-out to throw her a dirty look. Mello and Emma started at each other for a second with surprise in their eyes after which she broke out into snickers and he pulled her out of the theater suppressing his own hilarity.

The light in the hall strained her eyes, but she did her best to stay right behind the blonde as they rushed down the hall towards the exit of the theater.

"Call Dan" order Mello as they stepped into the cold air

"Stop giving me orders" she snapped back, pulling her arm back and pausing their rush

The look the boy gave her froze her in place, his ocean blue orbs causing her to hitch her breath. She really didn't know what it was about those eyes that rendered her defenseless, but she knew the steely glare was the source of all his power. Her mouth opened to say something, but before she could speak her lips were captured by his in a quick kiss. He pulled back, and with the same tone he had used moment before he repeated his demand "call him"

The girl dug into the jacket of her pocked and pulled out her phone, looking into her recent calls for the boy's and pressing the dial number, waiting for the tone to ring.

"Hello?" Came a voice, but it wasn't her dark-haired friend

"Matt? Where did you guys run off to?" She asked, wondering why she was speaking to him instead of the owner of the phone

"Uh… back to my dorm. Not my idea" he stated, the background noise gave away that they were still outside

The brunette narrowed her eyes "can you put him on the phone please?"

"Not really, he's… making a pit stop"

"Is he taking a piss?"

"…Yes"

Emma sighed, what the hell was going on?

"I'll wait." It took a few seconds but finally Dante picked up his phone and wasted no time in laying out the situation for her in code

"Em, remember that one night Drew's brother threw that toga party?"

The brunette's face scrunched into confusion "uh… yeah?"

"Exactly"

She was silent for a moment, but then her face lit up with understanding "oh… oh, right. Okay, I copy you. Goodnight"

"Goodnight" he bid and hung up the call.

Mello raised an eyebrow "well? What's going on?" he asked, unable to tell what had just taken place in the conversation. Emma tucked the phone in her pocket and wrapped her arm around his

"Let's go to my house, I'm hungry" she said without answering his question.

His expression was visibly irked, "where are they? What did you just talk about?"

The brunette swallowed hard and thought of her answer before speaking "well… they're just going for a walk. To uh- just for fun, you know? I can make us grilled cheese, or Nutella bread. Whatever you want." Lying was never an issue, but at her core she knew the boy would be able to see right through it.

Mello narrowed her eyes at her as they began to walk towards her home, unable to deny the promise of Nutella "what are you hiding, what the hell's going on?"

Emma just shook her head "nothing, they're just going for a walk and I'm cold and hungry, can we just go to my house, please?" She urged "I really have to pee."

Mello sighed "yes"

She smiled up at him "thank you."

* * *

The fence of Wammy's was now visible, and the knot in Matt's stomach grew with each step they took. He ran through his plan to sneak in the boy walking next to him, making sure he wasn't forgetting anything that could get them in trouble. When they neared the property Dan kept walking towards the main entrance, but the redhead stopped him

"We have to go around back" he explained, leading him away from the lit sidewalk and onto the nature that surrounded the orphanage "I know this is stupid, but we have to get over the fence so we don't get caught"

Dan nodded "yeah, I can do that" he agreed, feeling more in control of his body as the high wore off. In the end, the acid was proving to be weak like he had expected– usually this amount could keep him running for about ten hours, but he was barely meeting the half-way mark and the effects were already going downhill. This is not to say he wasn't still seeing stars shining on the ground and hearing every damn crinkle of the dry grass they were walking on. Matt stopped once they reached the fence

"I'll got first, just copy everything I do and _don't look down_ " he urged and reached for the bars to pull himself up. Dante nodded, but knew in his heart the first thing he would do was look down simply because it had been brought up. Nonetheless, he followed suit and hoisted himself with a tight grip on the iron. The climb to reach the top height of the fence didn't take long, but now the hard part was facing them: crossing over to the window.

"Do you guys do this every time you go out?" Whispered Dan, looking down at the ground while trying not to knock his balance and land his ass on one of the threatening spikes that jutted from fence. They were only a few meters up, but it felt like an abyss.

"Yeah, but we're used to it" assured Matt, looking back to make sure the other was alright. Matt was able to use the pine tree to the windows in no time, moving like a cat, but Dante was having some psychological roadblocks as he thought about the repercussions of breaking a leg while on acid. "It's safe, I swear" coaxed the gamer from the window sill, pulling open the glass "you're taller than me, it'll be easier" he added to support his case. Dante nodded and reached for the tree, rusting the leaves as he used it to climb up to the second-story window where Matt was waiting for him. He tried not to think about death and dying as he clutched the window sill for dear life and scrambled to shove his body into the building, landing with a thud on the ground. Matt tried to keep his laughter quiet, shutting the window and sighing in relief "see? Not so bad"

"Goddamn it, if I would've known…" sighed Dan, standing up and shaking off his jacket

"It'll be easier next time"

"Next time? If you think for a second I'm putting my life on the line like that again you're out of your mind"

"I think you're embellishing, you'll see what I mean when you're sober"

"You're probably right" conceded the dark-haired boy as he looked around the room "so you guys really are joined at the hip, huh? I can't imagine sharing a room with any of my friends"

"It's a delicate balance, but it's worked so far. We've roomed for years now"

"Years?"

"Yeah… we worked well the first time we got put together and decided to leave it as that since" he explained, neglecting to mention Mello was the only roommate he'd ever had from the moment he was first brought to Wammy's after being rescued from a horrifying foster home situation by Roger. Something stopped him from even mentioning that this was an orphanage and not just an ordinary school, or that nothing was really ordinary about himself or any of the other kids here. He was making outside friends for the first time in his life and now wasn't the time to spook them with unfiltered truths. "There's not really much to do here, so I apologize in advance"

Dan dropped his coat on the floor by the wall "which one's your bed?" Matt nodded to the one closest to the window on the right and watched as the dark-haired boy sat down on it and leaned back onto his elbows "come on" he patted the spot next to him "let's just talk like the good old times before technology came crashing down on society" he suggested with a smile

Matt swallowed his spit and nodded, sitting down on the bed at a safe distance "what about?"

"You, of course" said Dan, giving him a curious look. He waited for the redhead to get comfortable before dropping his case "so… remember the night of Angie's party, when we first spotted each other?"

"Yeah?"

"Right. So, I was rolling a joint talking to these two girls, and then I introduced you, yeah?" Matt nodded. Dan continued "and the shorter one, Andrea, do you remember her?"

"Uh… barely"

Dan grinned and nodded "alright, here's the thing about Andrea" he said, propping himself up "she has massive tits. I'm talking melons, Matt" he emphasized the image with his hands in front of him and if cupping imaginary boobs. The redhead blushed, wondering why the conversation had taken this turn "...and here's the thing about _you_ : she gave you bedroom eyes and you…" he pointed his finger at the boy "you leaned _away_ from her"

"Yeah, so?" He admitted, still unsure about the purpose of his reminiscence

Dan's excitement dropped, realizing the other wasn't catching his drift. Perhaps the direct approach would be best. "So I think you're gay" he said casually as if he hadn't dropped a bomb of self-doubt, introspection, confusion, shock and awe onto Matt. The redhead's eyes widened, he opened his mouth to speak but no words would leave his throat and no thoughts were stringing together in his mind. Dan paused and leaned back "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- wait, am I right or wrong?"

"I-I uh… I mean…" Matt looked at the ground as if the answered could be spelled onto the floorboards "I don't know" he admitted. It made sense. It made perfect sense and he had never even bothered to consider it. Dan's eyebrows furrowed

"Oh… man. I didn't know, I thought this was more of a black and white, yes or no question" he looked at the redhead and pursed his lips "you know, I'm not really sure either" he said in assurance "sometimes I feel one way and sometimes I want guys"

Matt's eyes glided, the look of worry remained on his stare "really?"

Dan nodded fervently "oh yes. It's been years and I still swing back and forth, it's confusing but nothing to be ashamed of. People are hot, and people are people"

Matt hung his head, feeling everything around him spin "I-I guess." He had never really had any feelings towards girls, something about them just never made him curious about their anatomy. Of course he had noticed there were differences between him and other boys at Wammy's: by the time they hit thirteen there was an overwhelming amount of talk about looking up skirts and the size of breasts, something he never felt a part of. However, he had always just pegged it on him not finding the right kind of girl for him, he never thought perhaps there was no such thing.

The dark-haired boy bit the inside of his cheek, mentally scolding himself for the mess he had just made of the poor guy. Emma was right, he had a knack for putting his foot in his mouth "look, you're just… figuring things out." He considered leaving to giving Matt some time alone, but thought it would be a waste of a perfect opportunity. Oh man, if he wasn't set to go to hell before, be sure would be after this. Dante cocked his head to search for the redhead's eyes hiding under the mess of hair. "I could help you, if you want" he offered with a soft smile

Matt felt comfort in the other's tone, and lifted his gaze to meet his "what do you mean? Like help me like girls?"

Dan shook his head "no, no. Fuck no. I mean like I could suck you off so you can see if you're into it"

Matt's face went beet red. He placed a hand on the mattress next to him, trying to establish he was still in waking life and hadn't slipped into some sort of fever dream. Was his offer real? Why was he compelled to accept? What the hell was going on with him? "I don't know what to say" he admitted plainly.

"I mean it: no strings attached. Just a test, like an experiment" Dan explained sounding sincere

Matt's blush deepened "o-okay"

"Okay as in yes?"

"Uh… Yeah…" he established with an inhale "it makes sense… right?"

"I think so. Let's give it a shot and if you want me to stop just say so" Dan bent down began to take off his shoes. He then stood up and patted a spot on the mattress "alright. Sit right here" he directed Matt so he'd be sitting on the edge of the bed. He kneeled on the hardwood floor and untied the redhead's shoes, setting them to the side before moving to take off his own shirt to bare the top half of his body. The gamer watched his every move with fascination and anticipation, wondering what he was meant to be doing but trusting he'd be instructed. "Just… relax" said Dante with an assuring smile, leaning down to lift the boy's goggles and place them on his forehead for better access. His head tilted to the side, easing the other boy into a gentle kiss that he gradually built up with a flick of the tongue, parting the other's own and slowly but surely sliding his tongue into Matt's mouth.

Matt could feel his heart rattle in his chest, a warmth began to spread from his stomach to every other part of his body. The warmth coming from the other's bare chest (engrossing), the smell of his cologne (fresh and reminiscent of the ocean), the taste of tongue (cigarettes and coca cola). He had kissed girls once or twice before, but the slippery sloppy sensation of those experiences hadn't cause anything like what he was feeling right now. Before he knew it, he was deepening the kiss, whimpering with pleasure at the small pecks Dante was placing on his jaw and neck, sighing with delight at the playful way he was nipping at his earlobe. All while feeling the way the other's mouth was stretched into a satisfied grin at his responses. The dark-haired boy settled onto the floor once again, moving to undo Matt's jeans with some difficulty.

"These need to come lower" he said, so the redhead stuck his thumbs behind the hem of his pants and underwear to pull them down to his mid-thigh. Dan shook his head and pulled them further down until they were pooled around his feet, placed a hand on his knee to spread his legs just enough so he could slip between them, pushed him back gently so the other would lean back onto his elbows and give him room to work. The redhead had never felt so exposed in his life.

Matt's breath hitched at the feeling of the other reach for his soft shaft, "your hands are cold" he blurted out

"Ah, sorry" apologized Dan, rubbing his hands together and huffing warm breath onto his fingers to warm them up "is this good?" He asked with his second try, earning an approving nod. His hands worked slowly at first, building hardness by gently stroking and using his thumb to rub around the head until Matt was stiff. Dante looked up at him with curious slanted eyes and he lowered his mouth onto him, wrapping most of his length effortlessly before he felt the pressure at the back of his throat. Matt inhaled deeply and the sudden rush from the sensation, his eyes half-lidded in an expression of lust that encouraged the other to move on.

Dante began to slowly bring his head up and down, working on a rhythm that was marked by the little moans of the receiver. His eyes would occasionally wander to the gamer's face to read his expression, finding nothing but approval every time. He decided to kick it up a notch by quickening the pace and rolling his tongue around the tip here and there, producing a loud chorus of moans that he knew were a little risky after hours in a quiet house... but wasn't about to put a stop to. Matt's eyes were glassy and slowly blinking open and shut from the sensations, his toes curling involuntarily on the hardwood floor

Suddenly, the light from under the bathroom door lit up and the sound of someone entering to use the facilities became obvious. Dante watched the door from the corner of his eye, but noticed Matt was too far gone into cloud nine to notice the noise: his eyes were shut, his hands clutching the covers of the bed. The dark-haired boy took a moment to decide, but settled on not interrupting his friend's first blowjob and instead took a deep breath through his nose before dipping all the way down to force the other down his throat. "Wait, wait" spoke Matt with a strained voice, placing a hand on the other's head "I'm about to" his eyes were still closed and his breathing was ragged. Dan pulled back, but changed his mind half-way and decided to stick it out this once as a special favor, rolling his tongue around the tip once and dipping all the way down a second time, his hands clutching the other's hips until the tips of his fingers whitened. The moan that escaped the redhead had to be the most beautifully erotic thing that had ever graced his ears as it filled the room. Dante waited a few seconds for the orgasm to pass before pulling back gasping for air.

"Holy shit" said Matt quietly between pants as he slowly bounced back into reality

"Matt?" There was a knock from inside the bathroom door– the bathroom tucked between their own room and Near's. The gamer's eyes shot towards the source of the sound before he bent over quickly to pick up his pants and slide them back on. "Is that you? Are you ill?" came Near's voice with curious concern.

"I'm fine!" he called, hoping the boy wouldn't think of opening the door as he clumsily buttoned his jeans "got to bed, Near!"

There was a long silent pause that had both boys watching the door with apprehension, but the lights were finally clicked off and the sound of the opposite door closing punctuated the end of their concern. Dante and Matt exhaled, the dark-haired devil chuckled and spoke up "not to be a princess, but could I get some water?"

"Right, sorry. Stay here I'll be right back" apologized the gamer as he stood up feeling frazzled and tried to arrange his junk, which was still uncomfortably hard and resenting being stuffed into denim.

* * *

 **Lyrics: Bang a Gong- T. Rex**


	10. Chapter 10

**Night Ride**

 _Morning sun fills the void_  
 _Now you see there never was a point_

* * *

Emma kneeled on the kitchen floor rummaging through the cupboards under the sink to try to find something to clear the wine stains from the bedroom carpet. She had woken up to find the pristine white plush looked like a murder scene, and could already hear her mother's nagging in her head. Her makeup was sticky on her eyelashes, and a slight headache danced around her skull, but all she could focus on was reading the labels on the brightly colored bottles of chemical cleaners. Giving up on finding the word 'carpets' inscribed on one of the tags, she picked four bottled at random, cradling them in her arms as she ran back upstairs to test her luck.

Back in her room, the girl got on her knees and began scrubbing with some window cleaner, cursing under her breath with the unsuccessful rubbing that was heating up the rag but not clearing the deep burgundy color. She continued to be forceful, mentally scolding herself for not pouring salt when the stain was fresh like her mother had taught her a couple years back. Her cellphone rang. Em groaned but accepted the call and set it on speaker as she continued to battle the carpet "good morning, sunshine. Did you seal the deal?"

"Promised I wouldn't tell"

"I'll take that as a yes, you glorious fiend" she pointed in a monotone

"I owe it all to you"

"You should've given me a warning, you're lucky I caught that obscure-ass reference about the toga party"

"Sorry… but I wouldn't expect anything less of The Enabler" Dante's grin was practically audible as he spouted the incendiary comment

"The Enabler?"

"You don't like it? We can change it"

"We? Who's 'we'?" She asked with indignation as she poured the second liquid at hand on the stain

"Me, Ange, and Drew… duh"

"First of all, how dare you people-"

"Em, don't try to deny it. You're The Enabler"

"Excuse you. I'm the one constantly getting dragged-"

"Did you know all of our firsts times getting drunk were with you?"

"No, but that doesn't mean-"

"My first time smoking weed: you. My first line of coke: you. My first and only arrest, God bless: you. My first time skinny dipping: you again. My virginity? Not you, but it was all thanks to you-"

"Alright, I get it. You can stop" the third cleaner was poured onto the stain with reckless abandon, pooling onto the carpet against her intentions

"Anyway, there's a show tonight I think we should hit up"

"Where?"

"On the far side, but it'll be totally worth it. Just grab Ange and Drew and I'll meet you there with the other two, yeah?"

"Why don't we all just go together?" She asked, answering her own question in her head almost instantly

"We don't want Drew and Mello on the same bus, do we now?"

She sighed, acknowledging he was right but dreading the idea of splitting up "right. I have to go, talk to you later"

A quick couple goodbyes were exchanged before she pressed to end the call. A look down at her work showed she was successfully bleaching the carpet and unsuccessfully removing any of the wine stains. A deep sigh of defeat left her, it was time for another plan. The girl stood up and opened the door to her room, gingerly walking down the stairs to the first floor where she hoped to dig around the storage closet where they kept some unused furniture in search of a mat or a carpet to throw down and cover up the evidence. The hopes of it looking believably decorative were slim, but it didn't matter to her at this point.

As she reached the first floor she heard voices coming from the kitchen– her mother was speaking to someone, a male someone. Emma narrowed her eyes and silenced her footsteps, creeping up to see if she could catch a sight of the stranger without being noticed. She was so close her steps were speeding up with anticipation, but her plans were foiled when the man crossed the doorway into the living room, catching sight of her instantly

"Emma… morning" he greeted. 'He' being, her history teacher from last year. He was a tall man with a bad haircut and a face that had probably been handsome some few years back. Round tortoise-shell glasses sat on his nose, the white button-up he'd probably sported the night before was visibly wrinkled.

Emma stood still and silent, having nothing to say back out of sheer surprise and disgust. He didn't seem to be completely comfortable with the situation either, evident from a nervous laugh that led to a stuttered excuse and a quick escape through the front door. The brunette listened to the door shut, the sound ringing in their now-silent home, and only then continued her path to the kitchen. Her mother was sitting at the small round table with a fresh cup of coffee in one hand and the leaf of a magazine on the other, opening the issue to begin reading all about this year's spring trends and hottest celebrity couples. Emma moved to stand behind her,

"Good morning, honey" he woman greeted, lifting her gaze from the page only for a split second.

The girl exhaled sharply, feeling the need to crush the whole world build up inside of her and bubble over like a science fair volcano. How could she be so blasé about this? How could she just sit there sipping her coffee? Her anger acted on her body before a coherent thought could form in her brain, her hand swiveled up and down swiftly, effectively slapping the cup out of her mother's grasp and dotting the floor with coffee and shattered porcelain, and a loud crashing sound.

"Emma! Have you lost your mind?" The woman exclaimed, jumping to her feet and wiping her hand free of the hot liquid on her robe

"McCrery? You fucked McCrery?" The girl yelled back, her face reddening.

Loud exclamations and harsh arguments were exchanged between the two thereafter, filling the walls of their brownstone home with curse words and bitter truths that the neighbors on either side were receiving muffled versions of.

* * *

Matt had been avoiding him all morning and Mello was starting to worry he'd said something wrong last night– perhaps one of those times where he spoke without thinking and managed to hurt his best friend's feelings without intending to. The blonde sat in an armchair with small book in his hand reading in the orange glow of sundown coming in from the window, his mind trying to reach back to search his memory. It had been a bizarre night– all he'd wanted was to catch a late showing of a movie and somehow managed to lose Matt and wind up in Emma's kitchen watching her drunkenly work a toaster. By the end of the night annoyance must've been transparent on his face because she had tried to cheer him up by kissing at his neck and palming his crotch, but given her state of intoxication he'd pulled back.

"Hey" without looking up he could tell it was Matt's voice coming in softly

"Hey" answered the blonde, eyes still set on the page

"Dan said to meet his at the bus stop on route sixteen at midnight"

"Well if Dan says so then we better fucking cartwheel over" he answered with bitter sarcasm

Matt sighed, his fist closed and opened at his side "something about a show. Emma will be there too,"

Mello looked up at his best friend and set the book on his lap, straightening the slouch he was posted into "where did you go last night?"

"I told you, we took a walk and then I came back here"

Mello could sense there was something off, something not right about the way their disappearance had gone down and Matt's account of the events "fine. Midnight it is" he answered, looking back at his book.

The boys didn't see each other until it was half-past eleven and they met back in their room to go through the motions of sneaking out the back of the house. The moon was full and the cloudless night showered the city in white light, making their escape a lot easier with the added visibility. At five to twelve they were standing at the bus stop waiting for Dan to show up. Mello read the route map posted to try to figure out where the hell they were going to now– he wasn't in the mood for any of this but he also didn't want Matt running around with that head case on his own.

Dante didn't show up until ten past twelve, jogging over to them with a pants of condensed air and only a couple of minutes to spare until the bus came along. "Sorry, I got held back" he apologized while catching his breath and clutching his knees for support "has the bus come by?"

"No, I'm pretty sure that's it, though" Matt remarked, nodding to the headlights approaching down the street

"Brilliant!" Exclaimed the raven-haired boy, straightening his posture and grinning at the sight. They three boys waited for the transport to stop in front of them and boarded, slipping a few coins in the slot before moving to find seats.

"Where are we going?" Asked Mello in his usual no-roundabouts manner

Dante licked his dry lips once "it's an unofficial venue just at the limits. Not sure who's playing but my connect swore they won't be checking for ID"

The blonde nodded and settled into his seat, watching as Matt stared a little too intently to the window as if purposefully holding back eye contact. What was with him, anyway? The ride was quiet on his end as Dante slowly worked up a conversation and got the redhead to engage with him finally, cracking a couple laughs from him here and there. By the time they reached their destination Mello found himself third-wheeling their dialogue.

They stepped off the bus and walked a few blocks in around a neighborhood he was sure Roger wouldn't approve of them roaming, especially at night. It was eerily quiet and a few vagabonds loitering about would serve as the only witnesses to any trouble taking place. They finally reached a house with a few people standing outside of it, one of which was Drew, who stood out smoking a cigarette on his own. Dante jogged up to him and threw an arm around his neck

"What are you doing out here? You look positively lonesome. Where are the girls?"

Drew looked exhausted, his broad shoulders were slouched and the air of confidence that was so natural to him was nowhere to be found "Angie couldn't make it and the mean one is somewhere inside funneling Tanqueray" he replied dropping his cigarette and stepping on it "I needed a break," he uttered lighting another cigarette and making it clear he wasn't ready to head back in just yet

"Ah, take it you've had quite the head start" Dante said, unwinding his arm and looking up and down at his friend whose breath reeked of liquor "I'll go spot her while you finish up, yeah?"

Drew nodded lethargically, his eyes sliding over to take in Matt and Mello's presence with a neutral expression "we'll be right in" he noted, offhandedly promising to bring the two inside with him as soon as he was done with his cigarette

"I'll go find her" Mello interjected, thinking he couldn't bear another second of being in Drew's presence without something in him snapping. Andrew's eyebrow rose but he said nothing, Matt looked torn between following the blonde and staying out here with the other two boys, and Dante seemed pleasantly surprised.

"See you inside then, go around the back" bid the raven-haired boy, patting him on the back once

Mello walked the littered yard to reach the back of the house where he heard cacophony coming from the back door. A young man in a hood asked for five pounds cover before allowing him inside and blandly warned him there was no smoking indoors. The blonde felt uneasy but his poker face didn't falter as he entered a colorfully-lit house filled with chaos in search for the brunette. There was a band playing some awful heavy rock music in the living room, surrounded by dancing teenagers that bumped and shoved into each other carelessly. The halls were filled with people on either side kissing, talking, and laughing loudly. It was all too much, he yearned to turn around and leave on the spot.

Emma was nowhere to be found and he was starting to grow impatient. He had texted her once without reply a few minutes ago after he'd taken his first lap of the ground floor, but he checked his phone again to find there were no new messages still. For someone as loud as boisterous as the girl, this was surely tuning out to be more difficult than it should be

"Looking for someone?" Mello turned to find a girl with heavy eye makeup and a shaved head standing next to him

"Yeah" he nodded, feeling scrutinized by her large dark eyes as they waited for him to elaborate "long brown hair, freckled face, about yay high" he explained, holding his hand perpendicular to his shoulder to indicate her height

The girl waited for him to go on, but realized that was the end of his description "that's about a third of the girls in here,"

Mello shook his head "no, she's hard to miss, she yells a lot… potentially holding a bottle of Tanqueray?"

This seemed to do the trick "ah! Emma. She's upstairs I think. I'll show you around, the main staircase is blocked off." The bald-headed girl placed a hand on his shoulder and led him away from the crow and through some corridors littered with artless graffiti and discarded bottles

"You know her?" Mello asked, looking down at the floor to avoid tripping

"Yeah, I used to sell her Xans. She's a freak"

The blond boy looked up at her with furrowed brows "what?"

"For a prep, I mean" the girl, looked over at Mello and scanned him up and down as they walked up a set of stairs tucked at the very end of the house, unlit and inconspicuous "are you guys going together?"

Mello almost missed a step as he was pelted with the question but was able to catch himself by placing a hand on the wall "no" he answered curtly

"Hm," the girl nudged him and shot him a smile that made him uneasy "good, she bites"

The blond thought back to the day he'd first kissed her on the Ferris wheel and unconsciously touched his lip, which had now healed from the nip she's taken at it. How did she know that? As realization of what the girl had just _really_ told him sank in, a blush swept over his cheeks.

The second floor of the house was dark and the only light coming into the hallway spilled over from inside a couple of rooms. The sound of the band playing downstairs was turned into a shapeless pounding that was drowned out by music playing from a speaker from one of the doorways– the end result was an overlapping and confusing beat. Mello and his new acquaintance walked over to the room where the loud laughter, the occasional scream, and ongoing conversation could be heard. She walked in first and he followed with caution.

Inside, in the middle of the room, was a wrinkled mat decorated with colorful dots and an entanglement of bodies hovering above it supported only by their shaking limbs.

"Left hand, red" instructed a guy with glasses standing over the mess

"Who the hell brought Twister?" Asked the bald-headed girl, pulling out her phone to snap a picture.

* * *

 **Infinitely sorry about the delay with this one! Hope you enjoy~**

 **Lyrics: Night Drive- The Growlers**


	11. Chapter 11

**Waiting Around for Grace**

 _You'll miss the golden moment when everything aligned_

 _Did it go underground without a soul around?_

* * *

Mello wasn't sure what he was looking at, though he was quick to figure out the game by observation alone: the wheel was spun, a color was called out, and everyone on the mat had to scramble to fix the chosen limb onto the chosen color at all costs. Twister didn't look like a lot of fun. It only took a couple more spins for the game to near the end– players seemed to be visibly struggling to keep their bodies raised. Take Emma, for example, who put up a good fight by arching her spine backward over some boy's leg while ignoring the waterfall of another girl's light hair draping onto her face.

The bald-headed girl that stood next to him put her phone away and smirked. She walked over to a bystander and took his half-empty can of beer before moving over to the mound of humans and placing it atop Emma's stomach. A delicate balance. The can shook with the rising and falling of her breath.

The brunette strained her neck to see what had just been placed atop her body and groaned "Ginger, take it off" she begged. Ah, so that was the girl's name. Ginger had just started a trend– other bystanders took their own half-empty drinks and placed them on any body part that would hold, atop the mound of players. Laughter eroded all around the room from everyone standing around the mat. A chorus of complaints and pleads came from those on the mat who tried not to spill any of the contents onto themselves by remaining as still as possible.

"Oh, come on"

"Take those off"

"Fucking hell"

"I'm slipping!"

"Fuck all of you"

"I'm not holding up, guys"

Mello's lips upturned into a discreet smile of amusement in anticipation, his eyes widened with the excitement.

All it took was one ragged breath for a beer can to topple over and catalyze the downfall– cups, cans, girls, and boys all toppled over onto one another and screams erupted. Some scrambled to get out of the sticky wet mess while others remained on the mat immobilized by laughter. His chuckle went unnoticed by most in the midst of the chaos that had just unfolded.

Emma lied on her back with a contorted expression of disapproval that only deepened when she caught sight of her blond friend snickering off to one side. She rose to her feet with some effort, "you think it's funny, huh?"

Mello knew better than to answer.

"You think it's funny" she affirmed, "I'm so glad you find it amusing, really." She opened her arms wide and came towards him, threatening him with a damp and smelly hug "bring it in, love. Come say hello"

"No, stay away" he ordered, taking a couple defensive steps back

"Don't be rude, just give me a hug" she insisted with a devilish expression, speeding up her approach. Mello took a quick step back and stumbled, landing against the doorway behind him onto which Emma cornered him before he would tuck away. She squeezed her arms around him while he cringed at the feeling of wetness seeping through his black t-shirt. As if that weren't enough, she pressed her cheek against his and rubbed more filth onto his face.

"Ah, stop" he commanded while trying to pry her off of him "enough, enough, you stink" he begged with a groan. The combined smell of sweet mixers, alcohol, and beer was unbearable.

The girl pulled away "likewise, ass-face"

Mello looked at her with annoyance, but before he could utter a retort he caught sight of Ginger giving them a look of disdain from across the room. The second their eyes met the bald-headed girl turned away and left him guessing what hatred was harboring in her eyes. Emma was quick notice the boy was lost in thought and even quicker to anchor him back to the present– her hand slipped into his and gave it a squeeze

"What?" she deadpanned "what are you thinking?"

The boy returned his gaze towards her and blinked a couple of times, realizing he'd been quiet for too long "I spaced out" he admitted, snatching his hand away "you're sticky"

Emma rolled her eyes at him and mumbled: "you're so rude." She nodded towards the corner of the room to their left where a table stood with some boxed piled underneath "there's beer under there, fancy?"

Mello pursed his lips and thought it through even though he knew he'd end up drinking at some point of the night. He hated the feeling of waking up hungover, but he had to admit it had been easier to fall asleep with alcohol in his system. The nightmares, the memories, the vivid sensations that ghosted on his skin– they were all silenced when he went to bed drunk. He nodded with a straight face "sure…"

The two made their way over to the stash, and Emma kneeled before it, picking out two cans. The boy opened his with ease and watched as she carefully jerked up the tab while trying not to damage her manicured nails. After a couple failed attempts she finally succeeded and fizz spurt from the top before the tab clicked and popped open "there we go, cheers!" Their cans collided, their heads tilted back, and their throats opened to the bubbly drink. Emma parted from her can just long enough to let out a loud burp before bringing it back to her lips for some more.

Mello let out a breathy laugh. "Wow, are you trying to seduce me?" he remarked sarcastically

Emma parted with her can a second time and took a confident stance, speaking with a theatrically deep voice "you haven't seen shit, pretty boy." She began to drink once again, but this time didn't stop until the can was empty and her head was tilted all the way back. In one swift motion, she flipped the can onto the palm of her hand and smashed it against her head, effectively flattening it with a loud crumpling sound.

The boy took an instinctive step back "fuck"

Emma tossed the remnants of her spectacle on the ground and laughed "don't look so horrified." She bent down again, a flash of pink underwear peeking from underneath her skirt, and took another can. "There's a trick to it. Drink yours, I'll show you"

Mello sighed before following the request and finishing his can off in a series of gulps without breaking. The fizz threatened to return up his throat, but in the end, he was able to hold it all down. A burp did escape him, but unlike the girl, he was discreet about it. "Alright, what now?"

Emma took his can and placed it on his palm bottoms-up "never put the open end onto your face unless you want a quick trip to the hospital" she began. Her small fingers worked to place his around the tin surface one by one until she was satisfied with their arrangement "okay there. You have to time it right for it to look real. As you bring it up to your head, squeeze with your fingers and it'll pretty much crumple on its own. It's all in the illusion. It doesn't hurt, so you have to make it looks like it does just a bit so it looks cool" She took a step back and rubbed her palms together "okay, go"

Mello felt embarrassed to go through with it until he glanced around the room and noticed no one was even looking in their direction. It was strange to feel like part of the backdrop for once. A newfound ease rested on his shoulders as he looked at the can in his hand. The boy quickly slapped it to his head, digging his fingers into the tin right before smashing the bottom to his skull and hearing the loud crumpling sound ring. His eyes showed surprise as he studied the crushed beer can in his hand, some stray drops of liquid running through his fingers. Beyond would've loved this, he liked silly theatrics. He wished he could show him.

"Nicely done, that's pretty good for your first try" she congratulated

"Who taught you this?" asked the blond, placing the mound of tin on the table.

"Drew. His older brother taught him" Emma explained, bending down to get Mello a second beer "as kids we used to think Drew's brother was the coolest person on earth: he used to have the prettiest girlfriends, he had the best parties, and he always had a ton of friends around. I remember being so embarrassed to even talk to him, Andrew used to tease me about it all the time and threatened to tell his brother I had a crush on him. Such a twat."

Mello listened to her as he slowly sipped his beer. He didn't know why she was telling him this but he liked the calmness of her tone, the warmth of the memories. At Wammy's speaking of the past is almost taboo– no one wants to bring to life the recollections of how they were broken, how they wound up in the orphanage. Knowing someone's history was an intimacy reserved for the closest of friends, and divulging was considered a betrayal. Hearing the girl speak her nostalgia allowed him to pretend that the past was a happy place.

"I now know he's not the knight in shining armor I made him out to be back then, but some of that did stay with me. I was really sad when he left for uni despite–… well, not as sad as Andrew. It's cute: they love each other so much even if they'll never say it. Drew was raised to be a tough kid so he doesn't talk about that gushy stuff, but I know" there was a smug look on her face at the fact. Emma gulped some more of her drink, long hair sticking to her face and shoulders on the spot where she was still wet from the stumble she and her playmates taken earlier. She didn't seem to notice or care. Mello reached out and plucked some off the strands of hair off her face carefully.

"I had an older brother too," he said suddenly, most likely just giving into the desperation of needing someone to talk to without downcast judgment. He took advantage of the shred of anonymity he held with her, he couldn't indulge in talking about this with anyone that knew who B was.

"Oh yeah?" Emma perked up, she looked to be genuinely interested that quickly turned to concern "wait, 'had'?"

"Have. I have an older brother. He's away, but we used to spend a lot of time together too"

"Do you miss him?"

The question released a pang of ache in his chest. In any other situation he would be too ashamed to admit he did, in fact, miss the serial killer that had made international headlines during his stand-off with L "yeah, I do"

Emma gave him a soft smile and placed a comforting, albeit sticky, hand on his forearm "I bet he misses you too"

* * *

Matt could feel every stroke of the bassist's fingers on his instrument through his entire body. To say the music was loud would be an understatement– even surrounded by people be felt isolated in his own head, unable to hear anyone but the lead singer. This was only the first song.

As soon as the previous band had ended their share of the show and this new group strum the first few chords Dante had dragged him into the crowd by his belt loop. The dark-haired boy was far too excited about this for him to protest, so Matt simple obliged and stood by his side. "It might not sound that great" Dante had admitted once upon a time when they could still hear one another without having to scream into the other's ear.

Andrew stood diagonally in front of them. Matt nervously glanced at the back of his head now and again, wondering what was going through his head (if anything at all). Back outside a few minutes ago, just as Matt parted his lips to exhale the tobacco smoke after it had passed through his lungs, Dante dipped forward and sucked in the cloud that he breathed out. Shotgunned it. The way the dark-haired boy had brought their faces so close so suddenly rose a blush from his cheeks. It was a playful gesture, but an intimate one nonetheless. The gamer's eyes had darted towards Drew in paranoid embarrassment, but the boy seemed to be unbothered by the whole ordeal as he looked off into the distance in a different direction. Nothing was said of the matter then, and now Matt stood facing the band distracted by his mind wildly trying to guess whether Drew had been mentally present in that moment, whether he cared.

Matt's eyes glided up to look at Dan, watching the glee on his face as he stared directly towards the left end of the band's setup, where the bassist stood strumming away. This wasn't a teenage boy like themselves, this was a young man at least three years older. Jet black hair rained from the crown of his head in loose curls that danced on copper skin, a strong nose pierced with a silver ring at the nostril. The redhead was entranced despite the unpleasant feeling that was building up inside of him with every second Dante longingly looked at the bassist. The young man was Michelangelo's David brought to life. He thought about his own pale freckled skin, lanky limbs, and weak bone structure and only then noticed how much he was… just a boy. Amongst the youngest in this crowd in fact. Matt had never cared much about his looks until this very moment: there was an ocean of distance between them.

He didn't realize he'd been chewing on his lips, nervously biting off the dead skin, until Dante's warm thumb untucked it from between his teeth. Bottle Green eyes wandered to peer up. Dante leaned in and spoke near the redhead's ear but Matt failed to make out his words in the midst of all this noise.

"What?" he yelled back

Dante leaned in once again and spoke the same words louder, but only some parts came in clear "I said… Can - … you?"

Matt's brows furrowed, "can you what?"

Dante brought a hand to his face as he laughed and shook his head, looking away. Matt cocked his head to the side, hoping he hadn't just annoyed the other boy. His doubt was short-lived as two spidery hands grabbed his head from the sides to hold him in place while Dante leaned down and pressed their lips together. It was surprising enough to allow him to forget he was standing in the middle of a crowd. When they parted the dark-haired boy returned his attention to the band with a grin on his face while the redhead nervously looked around him to gauge the periphery, only to find that no one was looking at them. That's right: not a single soul was giving him a second look, a judgmental side-eye, or a grimace of disapproval. No one cared– for the first time in his life that three-syllable realization hadn't come at the cost of his self-worth.

A smile crept onto his freckled face and the music suddenly started to sound better.

There was commotion all around: people dancing bumping into each other, screaming out lyrics, whistling, cheering, drinks spilling. This would normally have driven Matt to a state of profound annoyance but right now all his mind could focus on was how the periodic force of a stranger body colliding with his would cause his right arm to casually brush against Dante's. He had to admit that every single song faded into the next as he failed to pay attention to the tune and lyrics. In fact, he didn't realize the show was done until an ear-splitting scream of feedback from one of the amps cut through the room as the band began to deconstruct their setup. Matt winced.

The crowd began to slowly disperse. Andrew turned around to face Dante while rolling his shoulders back to ease some tension "are you hanging around?"

"Might as well, it's not like the bus runs this late anyways" Dante replied with a shrug "you?" Matt's eyes widened slightly at the realization: how were they supposed to get home? The buses wouldn't start running again until six in the morning and that was still four hours away.

Andrew nodded, crossing his arms. It was only then that Matt noticed he was clutching a small winter jacket– the same one he'd seen Emma sport at the movies. "I need to find Em before I leave. All her stuff is back at my house"

"Oh?" Dante's eyebrow rose "did you guys do each other's makeup before heading over here?"

Andrew rolled his eyes at him "she's spending the night, something about not wanting to sneak back in late." He checked his watch and pursed his lips and began to walk away "text me if you're leaving"

"Sure thing" the dark-haired boy bid, watching as his friend walked away from them, towering over the crowd as he scanned the room for familiar faces. He turned to Matt once the other boy was out of earshot, exhaling deeply "well," his eyes looked around as if searching for something to do next "shall we find a spot to smoke a spliff?"

* * *

"It's a small bear, see? The black spot is its nose" Emma said while lying on her back, pointing at the ceiling.

Mello craned his neck to the left until he gathered the image "ah yeah, it's got teeth"

The two sat on the largest sofa in the room, which was torn and dirtied by a visibly long history of abuse and neglect. Mello leaned slouched in a sitting position with his legs resting on the coffee table across from him and cradled the girl's head on his lap, using her forehead to rest his beer while they searched for figures in the water-stained ceiling. The ill-colored blotches on the once-white paint overlapped and twisted into interesting shapes.

They had left the previous room they had found each other in after the spilled drinks on the Twister mat had permeated the air and rendered it unbreathable in their inebriation. Mello thought this was nicer, perhaps only because this was his fifth beer or perhaps simply because he liked the comfort of the old sofa. Normally, he would never dream of going near the rotten piece of furniture, but right now he could happily fall asleep on it without second-guessing it.

Without a warning, voices poured into the haven to interrupt their precious silence as a group of guys entered clutching instruments and wrapped in chords. Emma immediately sat up at the sound, nearly knocking over what was left of Mello's beer when her head lifted off his thighs. The guys graced them with glances but didn't pause their conversations or careful task of returning the instruments to the cases that were littered in the corner.

Mello couldn't help but notice one of them stood out from the rest by his unforgivingly handsome face. No, handsome wasn't the right word– beautiful. Blue irises followed the young man's every move as he crouched down on the floor and lovingly tucked a glossy base guitar into a black case. The glint of light caught in the silver ring on his nose alerted him that the stranger was turning just in time for the blond to avert his shameless ogling. Even as he feigned interest in the blank wall to his left, Mello's mind still lingered on the bronze skin and silky raven curls.

Another one of the band members, an eerily thin one with a black beanie on his head, was making his way towards Emma with a cocky pep in his walk, intending to take a seat next to her "hand me a beer, will ya luv?" The mood in the room suddenly shifted.

Mello caught the instant Emma's expression angled into offense "get your own beer" she spat back, before childishly lifting her leg onto the sofa to claim the free space "and your own seat." The blonde's lip curled into a knowing smile as he recalled the scene she'd made the night of Angela's birthday.

The eerily thin young man took a step back, clearly ticked off by her reaction. It didn't help that one of his bandmates, the devastatingly good-looking one Mello had been staring at moments earlier, chuckled. "Thing is, luv, you're not fit enough for me to put up with your attitude" he retorted mercilessly.

All eyes in the room looked at Emma expectantly. Her twiggy arms crossed in front of her chest, seemingly unfazed, "and your band's not good enough to be charging at the door but here I am, five pounds down and stuck talking to you to top it all off"

The group of strangers erupted into chuckles, and Mello felt something like pride build up within him. The thin young man scoffed and settled for taking a seat a nearby worn-down armchair, eyebrows knotted into displeasure "what, so we just let anybody shit on the band now?"

The handsome one with the black curls stepped towards them slowly holding a bottle of whiskey with a black label that read Jack Daniel's in bold white letters. He calmly took a seat on the wooden coffee table next to Mello's boots. The blond removed his feet from the surface and set them on the ground. The bassist began to uncap the bottle as he spoke directly at Emma "so, in your expert opinion, how can our band improve?" He offered the bottle to the girl, which she accepted and drank from before responding

"I dunno, I've been here the whole time. I just said that to piss him off" she admitted with unfaltering honesty that made the young man smile and nod. She took another drink from the bottle before handing it back to him

"I know you, you're friends with Dante," he said, eyes squinting slightly

"Emma" she confirmed, uncrossing her arms

"Emma" he repeated, and turned to look at Mello "now, you, I haven't met." His voice was just as magnetic as the rest of him, a deep and relaxing rumble tinted with an accent– Spanish, perhaps? He knew he couldn't be the only one feeling the weight of the young man's presence so he threw Emma a quick glance, but she was already distracted laughing and tossing crude jokes across the room.

The blond felt his heart rate speed up with a nervousness he wasn't familiar with. A small rabbit being stalked out by a predator with Trident white teeth and a dimpled chin "Mello"

"Nice to meet you. Xavier" the bassist revealed, offering him the bottle this time. The blond accepted it and took a swig out of politeness before returning it to its rightful owner "is that short for something?"

The boy shook his head "no, it's just Mello"

* * *

 **I'm so deeply sorry for the unintended hiatus. On one hand I had a lot of things come up but on the other I wanted to take time to organize my thoughts and revise the plot I had in mind for this. Now that it's all in order I'm ready to start posting regularly again.**

 **As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts and get your feedback (whether good or bad)~**

 **Lyrics: Waiting Around for Grace- Pond**


	12. Chapter 12

**Turn Blue**

 _I the dead of the night I start to lose control_

 _But I still carry the weight like I've always done before_

 _I don't think you know,_

 _There could be hell below_

 _I really do hope you know,_

 _There could be hell below_

* * *

The dirty little room with the old furniture and the stained ceiling was the last place Andrew looked, but he realizes it should've been the first. Emma had a penchant for sniffing out the corners people hide in to inhale lines, light up, and dip into the hard liquor. When he heard voices and laughter he knew he'd found her even before he spotted the girl with the long brown hair curled up against the armrest of the couch sleeping soundly. Andrew walked in the room without saying hello, didn't even return the glances tossed in his direction. Xavier, welcoming as always, granted him a salute. Andrew only nodded back and bent over to find the best angle to scoop up Emma without any sudden movements that could induce vomit. He dropped the jacket he'd been holding onto all night. Xavier leaned down to pick it up for him and draped it over the unresponsive girl. Andrew didn't thank him.

"Are you coming?" he asks Mello

The blonde glances at Xavier, who gives him a pout "no, I'll stay"

Andrew paused for a second, weighing the pros and cons of insisting that he should come along for a safe ride or at least give him his number in case of an emergency… but it was clear the blond boy didn't want to hear any of it. Emma groaned and mumbled something unintelligible onto his shoulder. "Get home safe, then" he muttered genuinely, surprising everyone in the room with the break in his stoic demeanor.

Outside the air was cold and he could feel Emma's limbs drop in temperature as he carried her over to the main road to improve their chances of finding a cab at this hour. Two empty cabs drove right by him and he knows it's because it looks like he's carrying a corpse. Andrew slowly put Emma down, but her legs didn't lift her weight and he had to hold her up while making it seem like she was just leaning on him. This does the trick, a cab stops by and agrees to take them home. Should he have tried to find Dante and Matt? He wished Angela was here, she played the role of the responsible friend a lot better than he can.

The night was quiet as the street lights pass them by like shooting stars while they drove back towards his home. Andrew leaned back into the seat and realized how glad he was the night is over, how tired he was of going through the motions. Especially when there didn't seem to be an end to it all. It was fun not too long ago, losing their wits to the contents of miniature zip-lock bags and bottom shelf bottles, but it turned into a vapid affair pretty quickly. Maybe his parents were right– he was too young for all of this. He was certain he was too young to be this tired, although his anger was justifiable. Hormones. Being sixteen and angry is perfectly normal, but he couldn't ignore how quickly his anger would grow into rage, into the burning desire to shatter everything that made noise.

Right now he's just tired. Andrew looked down at Emma. She's drooling on him.

* * *

"So there I was: butt naked staring at this cop in the face and he just gave me the most pitiful look"

Matt knew he hadn't laughed this hard since he was a child and A was still alive. The muscles in his abdomen ached, his eyes cradled tears at the corners. He passed the joint back to Dante while trying to regulate his breathing.

Dante took a puff and continued "and all I could say at the point was… 'yeah, I know'"

Matt leaned against the side of the house and exhaled "what did they do with you?"

Dante shrugged and grinned "they arrested me. I can only be thankful they drove me back to the station and gave me some clothes before taking me home to my parents" he sighed "my father wasn't even mad, he just looked so… defeated"

"That's lucky, you got off scot-free"

"Not quite– I still had to community service and I can't get my license until I'm eighteen" Dan placed the joint between Matt's lips, pressing his fingers to them "not worth it, but not a complete loss either"

The redhead kissed the two fingers and sucked on the stiff filter between them. He breathed out a cloud of smoke above their heads and smiled. Silence ensued. Whenever they had long conversations these silences would sprout here and there, a comfortable pause to think of what could come next in their interaction. They hadn't known each other for that long, it was only natural.

His conversations with Mello were seamless and the silences between them weren't filled with this kind of calculations. Not to mention until very recently, there was nothing in this world he didn't discuss with his best friend.

Dante leaned in slowly towards Matt, pressing their lips together so gently that it looked and felt like a first kiss. "Come home with me" he whispered, the joint slowly burning into ash still between his fingers

"What?"

"Come to my house"

"You mean… right now?"

"Right now"

Matt knew he wanted to, but he also knew there had to be a good reason not to. Unfortunately, he couldn't think of what those could be as his mind was occupied with memories from the night before. He nodded, "what about the rest?"

Dan chuckled incredulously "what about them? They'll be fine. Come on, let's find a cab"

"I shouldn't ditch Mello again"

Dan licked his lips and sighed "he's fine. He's with Emma and probably Andrew by now. Shoot him a text later"

The problem was, Dante didn't know Mello like he did. He didn't know how underneath that harsh exterior lay the bruised self-esteem of a sixteen-year-old who took things too personally. Then again, the blond was probably busy reaching into the depths of Emma's throat with his tongue and that thought alone was enough to sway him. "Yeah, you're probably right."

* * *

Looking around the room Mello felt the reality of his decision to stay set in: he was surrounded by complete strangers with only a vague idea of his current location and a phone running low on battery. He should've charged before he left. If it weren't for the drinks in his system he might've felt the full extent of his vulnerability at present time, and the fact that Xavier was now sitting to his side with his arm loosely around him only helped to ease his instinct. He didn't need to know the young bassist in depth to understand exactly what was going on here, and he didn't need to perform and act of introspection to understand he was giving himself into it. The bottle of Jack Daniels was offered for the umpteenth time tonight, but this time around he had to decline.

"Too much?" Asked Xavier without mockery in his tone

"Enough" answered the boy, but a hiccup betrayed him

"We can fix that" declared the young man, lifting himself off the couch just long enough to reach into his back pocket and pull out a small bag of white powder. Mello watched with curiosity as the contents were sprinkled onto the coffee table in front of them and then arranged into small lines using a plastic credit card. He was educated enough to understand this was cocaine and felt responsible enough to decide against taking the rolled-up bill being handed to him.

"I'm alright"

Xavier cocked his head to the side "huh, no one's ever turned me down before. Are you sure? It'll just sober you up"

Mello looked at the white lines neatly arranged and bit the inside of his lip. He felt as is his body was swaying from side to side even though upon further inspection he confirmed he was sitting perfectly still. Perhaps he should give it a shot "you go first."

The young man looked into his eyes for a moment before leaning over and snorting up two lines: one up each nostril. He held his nose for a moment and blinked a few times, making strange clicking noises from the back of his throat, and then offered the rolled bill to Mello.

Mello followed suit and took his line slowly, but didn't go for a second. It burned. Then it didn't. Then he felt an uncomfortable sticky feeling in the back of his throat but the rest of him felt great. Alertness, excitement, a strange sense of being woken up from waking life.

"Well?"

Mello looked at Xavier and nodded "yeah, it's better"

Xavier flashed a blinding smile and patted the blonde's shoulder fondly "good."

The young man's warm charisma was effective: Mello's sharp eyes softened and his posture lightened on the couch. It was an instant disassembly. Xavier chose patience as his winning strategy, carefully chipping away at the ice with warm whispers and generous smiles.

"Have another" he offered the blond boy after some time had passed, motioning towards the odd mess of white dust on the table that the bandmates had already taken turns dipping into.

Mello didn't hesitate this time, breathing in and feeling that instant kick to his brain for the second time tonight. After the third, he could feel his heartbeat in his chest, but it wasn't until the fourth that he realized he'd been reckless. There was an acute tone sustained in his ear that he couldn't think of a way to silence, his mouth felt dry, and his cheeks were flushed from his heart's constant dance. How would he know if he'd overdosed? Was he being paranoid in thinking about such extremes?

"Do you have a cigarette?" He asked, speaking too fast and looking at Xavier with too much intensity

Xavier put the bottle down and nodded, "mind if I join you?"

"That's fine" Mello responded dryly, standing up from the couch and moving to exit the room without waiting for the older male to catch up with him. This only served to amuse Xavier, who was increasingly inclined towards him the more he acted like a brat.

Outside, the temperatures were dropping, and after a couple failed attempts to get Xavier's lighter to spew fire, the young man realized they needed an alternative.

"My car's just down the street" he stated, motioning towards an old black car parked along the sidewalk only a few steps away and beginning to make his way over without leaving room for discussion.

Mello looked around, reminding himself of how far from everything and everyone he was, but followed Xavier nonetheless. Walking behind, looking at his silhouette stepping elegantly in front of him: the boy realized he could fool himself into thinking he was following B. The innocent thought touched his erratic brain and retrieved a spitfire of memories– the unruly black hair, the paling olive skin, the manic smiles, strawberry jam, the dirty fingernails, screeching tires, calloused hands.

The sound of a door slamming pulled him back. He watched as Xavier walked around the car to the driver's side through the dusty windshield and fidgeted with the zipper of his jacket until the was seated next to him. The keys went into the ignition and turned just enough to get the battery running so that the metal coils in the cigarette lighter built into the car would warm once Xavier pushed it in.

"How are you getting home?" the older male's voice rumbled into the silence

Mello's foot was bouncing uncontrollably, his words came at a mile a minute "I dunno, my friend is still around. I'll probably catch a cab with him"

Xavier nodded, and reached over the space between them to tuck a strand of hair behind the blonde's ear "I could give you a ride if you want"

"No, you've been drinking"

"I'm not drunk, but I understand." He was too complacent to be anything like B. His eyes didn't have the embers behind the irises, his voice was too soft, his laugh too pleasant. Mello unfairly resented him for all of it.

The lighter clicked when it reached the appropriate temperature and Xavier pulled it out, bringing the glowing end to the tip of Mello's cigarette before lighting his own. The windows had a manual handle to roll them down so they could breathe out the smoke into the open air, but even then the smell still built up within the car. The space felt smaller than it was, more cramped than it was, their closeness unignorable. At his age, even the faintest tension could override logic in the most astounding ways… and the upper rushing through his veins begged for trouble.

It was because of this that he found himself leaning over the stick shift to nip at Xavier's earlobe. The young man turned to gaze at him with wild dark brown eyes that held both surprise and excitement. Their lips met. It quickly turned to all teeth and tongue, quiet moans. If only his face didn't feel so numb. Xavier chucked his cigarette out the window and did the same for Mello when the blonde neglected to realize it could slip from between his fingers at any minute.

Underneath the overpowering scent of tobacco smoke Xavier smelled like firewood and tasted like whiskey, his skin was hot to the touch. The determination in his lips as he traveled down the younger male's neck was smooth and carnal at once, consuming. This felt good, this was good. Their hands grasped at each other's torsos blindly in the darkness of the moonless sky, fingers grasping at waistbands, running past shoulder blades, squeezing at denim-clad flesh. Mello raced with a mixture of cocaine and lust that he worried would stop his heart. There was a burning need in him chanting "more, more, more" that continued to be unsatisfied about nothing in particular.

Their lips parted to allow Mello's left hand to fumble with the side of his seat as he tried to find the correct handle to– bingo. He began to push back against the aged gears, but it was Xavier's impatient shove that finally brought the backrest of his seat down horizontally. The young man climbed over to loom over him and continue what the blond had started. He exhaled warm air next to Mello's ear that sent shivers up his spine and emitted a fluttering sigh from his chest

The word came from Xavier's throat his audible hunger "beautiful"

"Shut up," he demanded in return, giving the older male that sour attitude that he seemed to be so fond of. He received laughter and nimble fingers busying with the front of his pants as a response.

Xavier's hand massaging him over his briefs brought on a pang of self-awareness. In a car, by himself, with a stranger, without Emma, high as hell, God knows where. Mello pushed the thoughts away and craned his head to bite down bitterly on Xavier's neck, who hissed at the pain. Brown eyes looked down at him and in the darkness he could tell that the bassist full of niceties was now bored of being gentle. His pants were yanked down along with his underwear in a move that jolted his whole body and left him feeling bare. The bassist sucked on two of his own fingers before reaching down and pressing the pads of his fingers to the ring of flesh between Mello's buttocks.

"Who- whoa! Where do think you're going?" Exclaimed the youth, springing back in his seat

Xavier laughed whiskey breath and lifted himself so he could look at the blonde in the face "what, are you a virgin?"

"No"

"Well… have you ever been with a guy?"

"Maybe"

"Okay" Xavier shook his head and tongued his molars in thought, searching for fair ground between the two of them "let me try it for a minute. If you hate it, we'll do without"

Mello's eyes lingered on the roof of the car as he thought over the offer. After a moment of consideration, he gave the bassist a look of disdain, but agreed "fine"

Xavier grinned at him and got to work by wetting his fingers a second time and returning his touch to the sensitive hole, working his way in slowly with his index finger while peppering kisses onto Mello's neck to distract from the strange feeling. The blonde's face contorted into displeasure as he gave it some time, but after only a few seconds he decided it was enough

"Alright, I'm not into it. Get it out of-" a loud gasp interrupted, stark white pleasure blinded him for an instant "fuck, fuck." He could feel the older male's smug smile against his neck but couldn't tap into his anger as he melted into the car seat and moaned liberally.

"Shh, shh" hushed Xavier, kissing his lips "the windows are open"

Mello couldn't care any less, he was too lost in the gratification brought by a finger wriggling inside of him. The waves of pleasure came in an ebb and flow as the finger traveled on and off a certain spot he didn't think existed within him. Any thoughts sprouting in his head were instantly shattered by the next caress. The youth's hand rested on the crook Xavier's neck, holding on like he could slip away at any minute.

"So, you're into it?" Asked the older male sardonically, quickening the pace.

All Mello could muster was a gasp and a throaty moan.

The bassist glanced around nervously to ensure they didn't have an audience or, God forbid, attracted law enforcement to the vehicle via Mello's expressiveness. He allowed the youth to enjoy himself for another short amount of time before he decided it too risky and it was time to wrap it up. The young man crudely spat into his hand and brought it to the blonde's leaking erection, pumping at the shaft firmly while still fingering him. Mello's eye rolled into the back of his head, his breathing came faster and faster until he felt a familiar warmth build below his navel.

"Wait, wait" he breathed out reaching down to weakly swat at the hand currently working his shaft, a moan died in his throat "I'm about to… ah, fuck"

Xavier nodded "yeah, that's the point"

Mello came hard and grunting curse words, his whole body quivering at the sweet release. Hot white liquid ran between Xavier's fingers and into his palm, his forearm holding down the youth's hips from bucking while his finger was still inside. Slowly, he pulled away and propped himself up on his elbows, looking around for something to use to wipe up the mess off his hand while the blond regained his breath under him. A scarf coiled onto the back seat turned out to be the solution.

Mello lay panting into the tobacco-stained frigid air until his consciousness sank back in.

By the time he gathered the motivation to sit up he noticed his pants were back on and Xavier was nestled into his own seat, lighting a second cigarette with the intention to smoke it this time around.

"Here" the young man handed him the cigarette without looking at him

Mello took it and inhaled weakly, distracted by his own awkwardness in not knowing what to say to someone who had just had their finger in his ass. He handed the cigarette back slowly and worked around the seat to bring the backrest back up. "I think I should go"

Xavier quirked his eyebrow at him, exhaling a grey cloud "it's late" he agreed. His hand clamped down at the front of his pants to rearrange his own erection before settling back down into the seat.

Right.

"Oh. I can… you know, if you want to-" he was cut off by a chuckle.

The older male shook his head and tapped the ash off the cigarette out the window "no, not tonight." His hand reached up to smooth the golden flyaways atop the Mello's head and brush out the knot that had formed on the back of his head. The youth clenched his body in reaction to the gentle touch. The bronzed hand traveled down to hold his face from the chin while dark brown eyes studied him–the bassist knew exactly what strings to pull to fill his lungs with longing. The hand left and mindlessly landed on the young man's own knee "I can give you my number"

"Right, yeah" Mello responded lamely, searching for his cellphone in his jacket pocket and praying it still had some battery left in it. He was relieved to see the screen light up, albeit with a red battery icon and a text message from Matt. Damn, his roommate was probably looking for him inside the house still so they could leave-

 _Headed out with Dan– he's not feeling well. Get a ride with Drew._

"Bullshit" he grumbled, exiting the message and clicking through to open a sheet for a new contact. However, he only as far as typing the first three letters of Xavier's name when the device's screen went black. "No no" Mello muttered, frantically clicking the power button to no avail. "For fuck's sake!" he exclaimed, holding back from tossing the damned thing against the windshield

"Did that just die on you?"

"Yeah" confirmed Mello, pinching the bridge of his nose

Xavier shrugged "we'll go old school, then." He opened the glove compartment and pulled out a black marker, taking the blond by the wrist, pulling up his sleeve, and carefully writing down a string of numbers into the inside of his forearm

"Thanks" his voice was quiet as he pulled his sleeve back over his arm "is it too late to take back what I said about you giving me a ride?"

The bronzed male smiled shook his head, disposing of the cigarette between his fingers "wait here while I get my bass."

* * *

"Did you send it?" Asked Matt, snatching back his phone and looking through 'his' conversation with Mello

"Just a white lie"

"He'll know" sighed Matt, putting his phone away and settling into the car seat. It was too late to do anything about it anyway, they were only a few minutes away from Dan's house at this point.

"Know what? He wasn't with us tonight; he doesn't know how much I did or didn't drink"

"I don't know, he just has a…" it was hard to word it, to describe the depth of perceptiveness that Mello had "sixth sense for bullshit."

"Yeah? Well I have a sixth sense for great necking so I suggest you focus on me and don't worry about that until tomorrow"

"You mean later today"

"Everyone knows the new day doesn't start until you wake up"

"At this point, I'm wondering if I'll ever get to bed"

Dante laughed "not yours, no"

Matt playfully rolled his eyes "we'll see. I might try to make it back before sunrise"

"Why? No, don't ruin it"

"They have cameras on the lot, I can't slip in while everyone is awake"

"That's fucked up…" Dante crossed his arms "but I know you can figure it out. Allow me to convince you"

"Fine, let's talk persuasion"

"Let's. For your own safety, it's outright dangerous to be climbing that fucking tower you live in at this time of night"

"Tower? My room's on the second floor"

Dante squinted, trying to think back to the time he climbed through that window while tripping on spoilt acid "are you sure?"

Matt laughed "yes. What else have you got?"

Dante shook his head and scoffed "I can't give you my next argument in here Matthew, it's illegal"

The redhead opened his mouth to speak but only laughter poured out. "Matthew?"

"No? Mathias?"

Laugher intensified as they pulled over to the side of the street.

"Matilda, then?" Dante tried again, taking a piss.

The cabbie uttered his price and Dante refused Matt's attempt to split the cost, ushering him out of the car while he completed the transaction.

"Alright, so my version of this is a little less Mission Impossible but you still have to be quiet so just take your shoes off at the door, alright?" The dark-haired boy explained as they approached the front door "…and bring them with you, don't leave them by the door"

"Do you take me for a fool?"

"I didn't think Emma was that much of a fool either until the first time I let her crash in my room"

Matt could only shake his head "so you parents found you out sneaking a girl into your room?"

Dante nodded, unlocking the door carefully and switching to a whisper "they think we're dating to this day, I don't have the heart to correct them. She loves it, they keep inviting her to vacation with us"

Inside the whole house was pitch black and without ever having been to the second floor, Matt worried he wouldn't be able to navigate the house silently enough to make it to Dante's room without attracting attention. The door shut behind him and he took off his shoes, holding onto them in one hand while the other was claimed by the taller boy to guide him carefully around the foyer, up the stairs, and down a carpeted hall. The redhead stubbed his toes more than once along the way but by some miracle from the heavens didn't exclaim at the sharp pain.

Finally, he heard the click of a door being opened and was lead inside blindly. The door clicked again as it was closed behind them and after a pause, without a warning, a lamp was switched on to shower the room with warm dim light. Dante's room was fitting for his carefree nature: there were discarded clothes, books, and random object all around the place, and on the walls the posters of bands he'd never heard of before overlapped to fill every inch of space. Matt looked around to take it all in, feeling as if he was being allowed into a private corner of the boy's life. Their own room back at Wammy's was painfully bland compared to this.

"Sorry about the mess, I didn't think I'd have any guests" Dante commented, shedding his jacked carelessly onto the ground

"Would you really have tidied up if you knew?" Teased Matt, placing his shoes on the floor and letting his own coat slide off his shoulders

"Honestly? No" admitted the dark-haired boy, walking over to tower over the redhead "not because I don't think you're special, I just hate cleaning." Hands fell on his hips and Matt froze "you know I think you're something special, right?"

The redhead looked up into the onyx eyes and nodded "I gathered, yeah. My penis was in your mouth last night"

Dante broke into suppressed laughter, trying to keep quiet "huh… and here I was thinking I was being subtle."

* * *

 **Another one in~**

 **Thanks os much for reading! As always, reviews are much appreciated. Don't forget to follow this story to get updated on new chapters.**

Lyrics: Turn Blue- The Black Keys


	13. Chapter 13

**Breathe**

 _And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry  
And all your touch and all you see_  
 _Is all your life will ever be_

* * *

This time he'd remembered to set up an alarm to wake up at a decent time.

Mello rolled over to slap his hand down onto the 'off' button of the bedside clock and groaned, rubbing his eyes lazily. Getting to bed last night had been a feat despite being dropped off past three in the morning– it wasn't just the cocaine or the tobacco, it was his own mind trying to understand what was real. Xavier felt like a figment of his imagination, like some schizophrenic presence he could have easily made up in his head… but the numbers in black permanent marker on his arm begged to differ.

His phone still lay dead on the bedside table, and on the opposite end of the room Matt's bed was made. That bastard. Mello sat up and dragged his feet over to the bathroom, feeling his head pound, his throat ache for water, and his muscles moan in agony. Opening the door, he found Near brushing his teeth, probably for the second time today even though noon hadn't even clocked in. That kid had a strange obsession with personal hygiene.

"Get out" muttered Mello in a monotone while unapologetically wedging himself in front of the sink and turning on the tap to drink.

Near simply stared at him, wide-eyed, with a mouth full of foam and a toothbrush still held in one hand.

Mello looked back at him, water dripping down his chin, and glared with sleep-deprived eyes "are you fucking deaf? I said get out" his body straightened to face him, towering over the small pearly-white boy.

Near shook his head and turned to leave the bathroom with his mouth still full of toothpaste. That had been easier than expected– contrary to popular belief, the little brat was rarely compliant and commonly defiant in his own passive way. Whatever, Mello wasn't about to complain.

Locking the doors, he turned back to face the mirror and immediately realized why he had been successful in warding off the little headache: down his jaw, neck, and collarbones were deep purple bruises that made it seem like he had spent the night in a chokehold to the untrained eye. Love bites. The blonde leaned in to inspect them further and cursed to himself, not knowing how he would manage to hide these.

The water ran cold, a conscious decision he had made to jolt himself into alertness and cut his shower time short. There was a lot of work he had to catch up on and he decided most of it had to be done by today– exams would be around the corner soon and he still clung to the hope of finally reaching the top score. Anxiety bubbled in his stomach at the mere thought. He and Matt had both been irresponsible as of late, disregarding their learning in favor of escapism. Hell, Matt hadn't even bothered to sneak back in last night.

Back in the room his phone was sprung back to life bearing a text message from his roommate sent shortly after four in the morning. Mello groaned as he read it:

 _Fix the cameras for me, yeah? I'll be back tomorrow_

The cameras were fixed. They had been fixed since sunrise when he had finally given up on waiting for Matt's red head of hair to appear through that window. Mello's finger glided over to the 'call' button, but he paused. If his roommate wanted him to know his whereabouts, he would've checked in by now.

* * *

Matt had already woken up once today… unsuccessfully. Around eight in the morning his eyes had cracked open to a pitch dark room with the blaring body heat of Dante sleeping next to him. This kid was a furnace. He had tried to untangle his limbs and slip out from under the cover unnoticed, but a mumbled complaint from the mostly-asleep boy next to him stopped him. Instead, he settled for peeling one of the covers off of them before tucking his head back onto the mess of pillows to doze off to the sound of Dan's slow breathing.

The second time he woke up had been on account of a car horn going off outside. This time around Dante did rise with him, although they stayed in bed silently without counting the passing minutes. The dark-haired boy dragged a finger on his back, drawing circles idly as they took turns gazing at each other and staring off into the darkness of the room.

"What time is it?" Matt broke the silence

Dante turned slowly, grabbing an alarm clock off the table and lighting it "almost noon"

"I should go"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I have to get some stuff done"

Dan offered him a crooked smile and ran a hand through the red tuff of hair "alright."

Without the blinds over the window it was a lot easier to spot his clothes in the midst of all the mess, but it took some effort nonetheless. One of his gloves failed to surface, but he was promised a more thorough search would be conducted this afternoon. Dante pulled on a lazy day attire to walk him downstairs, faux-calling for his parents to check they weren't around before scurrying the redhead out the door. Their goodbyes were hurried and whispered.

Matt walked down the cold streets of Winchester with a smile on his face and his gloveless hand in his pocket, only now settling back into the reality of things. He hoped Mello had seen his message about the cameras, and really hoped he would be able to slip in through the front door without Roger noticing he had never left the building that morning in the first place. If he was in luck the old man had an orphan to discipline or a Quillish to sit on the phone with.

The front door cried its characteristic creak as it was opened, cold air seeping in for the brief moment Matt took to slip inside. The redhead bent over to slip off his shoes and carried them in one hand up the stairs and down the hall to his shared room, nothing short of skipping the entire time.

The door handle was turned to reveal everything just as he had left it, except now all of his clothes were littered on the floor and Mello was sitting on his bed reading a book looking grouchy.

"Good…morning?" he tried, looking around with confusion

"Where's that sweater with the snowflake you got last last Christmas?" asked Mello, peeking up from behind his book

"The turtleneck? Uh… I don't know. I didn't really wear it much, maybe I gave it to someone"

Mello exhaled sharply in frustration "do you have anything else like that?"

Matt chuckled "no, why?"

Mello slapped his book down on the bed, revealing his bruised neck.

Oh. "What- was that Emma?"

The blonde paused for a moment and rolled his eyes. "Yes," he lied.

"Shit. Okay. Let's see" Matt looked around the room, evaluating the mess for a solution "how about a scarf?"

"Indoors?"

"Yeah… just pretend you have a cough. It's considerate of you not to want to spread your germs"

Mello nodded "guess so…" he pushed himself off the mattress, weighting the possibility of being honest about last night with the one person he trusted in this life. Pacing around and picking up the clothes he had tossed all around during his passionate search, he decided it was best to keep things quiet. He didn't know how Matt would feel about it– sharing his private space with a… with someone like him. "Where were you?"

Matt looked up with wide eyes "hm? I was at Dan's, I texted you. Passed out on his floor" he spoke quickly and questioned how natural that had sounded. Usually he didn't struggle to tell lies, but lying to Mello made him nervous simply because he knew how unlikely it was that it would go well. Moving off the topic as quickly as possible, he picked up a scarf off the floor and moved over to wrap it around Mello. "This should work. Are you going to put my clothes back?"

The blonde stood still as the fabric was wrapped loosely around his neck and strategically bunched up to cover all the bruises "yeah"

Knowing that was as close to getting something like an apology from Mello, Matt smiled and nodded "cool. Looks good"

* * *

Days went by mechanically. Mello mostly kept to himself and buried his thoughts and feelings into a book, complaining about how there weren't enough hours in a day. Late at night, Matt would catch him with his phone under the covers texting and felt something between annoyance and joy at what looked to him like a budding relationship. He wondered what kind of boyfriend the blonde would make, toyed with the idea of the sorts of dates he would be into, and wondered if he and Emma could ever really make it work. Last night he couldn't take his eyes off the extraterrestrial mound of white light that was Mello rapidly typing under the white sheets– Matt wished he could decode the faint clicking sounds to eavesdrop into his conversations.

He was far too distracted to focus on studying. Dan had struck a routine of calling him as soon as he was done with classes and taking up his time until Wammy's nighttime curfew, when the redhead would leave despite the boy's complaints and temptations. He told himself it was nice to escape the house for a few hours a day, but the fact was he found the growing distance between him and his roommate unbearable and didn't hesitate to avoid facing it: at first they ceased to prod each other about their day, then their eating schedules became too off-key to coordinate meals together, then the small talk began to appear. It was dreadful, but it was convenient in hiding the nature of his friendship with Dante so he didn't feel hurried to address it. An unforeseen side effect of his passive alienation was a suffocating guilt that would always strike past midnight.

One foggy Thursday afternoon they coincided in the room: Mello strapping on his boots while Matt dug around his closet for a jacket that didn't reek of stale nicotine. They looked at one another, both of them hoping the other would speak, but in the end neither of them did. Instead, they continued to gather their outfits in silence until Mello finally worded a quick goodbye before diving out the room in a hurry.

Outside the gates of the orphanage, waiting for him, stood Emma in her school uniform hopping and shifting her feet to shake off the cold to no avail. Her lips quivered dry and pale and her eyes were nested atop faint dark circles.

"What took you so long? It's freezing" she scolded once the blonde was close enough to hear "why can't I just wait inside?"

They began their walk towards her house "you called me unannounced and twisted my arm into coming out. You have no bargaining power here"

Emma rolled her eyes "I only called you because I really need your help. I'm in a crisis"

"What kind of crisis?"

"Existential, but you're no use for that. I need your brains" she sighed, looking down at the ground as they walked. Their feet crunched the thin layer of ice that rested on the concrete, the sound ringing in the air solitarily. Without a warning, Emma burrowed her eyes into the blonde boy's own baby blues and spoke with alarming honesty "you have to stop cornering me into being the only one of us that cares about this friendship"

Mello paused his walk and looked at the girl, caught off guard. They watched each other for a moment while he took in the downwards curve of her lip and tried to decide if it was genuine. "I've been very busy with school, exams are coming up"

Emma didn't look convinced. She looked down and drew a circle on the sidewalk with the tip of her shoe before resuming her steps "didn't you just have exams?"

"We have them often, it's a different curriculum"

"Are you like… really smart?"

Mello could only laugh at that

Emma scrambled to rephrase "I mean, I know you're smart… but, are you in special classes? It just doesn't seem like you-"

"-are that special?"

"No! It's just… you're cool, you know you're cool. It's misleading"

"So you can't be 'cool' and smart at the same time? Is that what you're saying?"

Emma raised an eyebrow at him like it was purely obvious "well, yeah."

Mello nodded and mulled the words in his own tongue "well, yeah" he laughed once again and shook his head "I think one of my favorite things about you is how unapologetically vapid you can be"

Emma looked at him with her nose crinkled in confusion– something told her she should be offended but wishful thinking, equally strong, thought it could resemble a loving remark. They walked an entire block before she spoke again, simply hating that such a sentence had left his lips "that's the worst fucking thing anyone's ever said to me"

They paused in silence for a thought before breaking out into sniggers.

* * *

"What are you going to be when you graduate?"

"I guess… an investigator"

"You guess?"

"I'm not so sure, but it seems to be the path"

Dante turned his head to look at Matt and blew smoke from the corner of his mouth "what would you choose if there wasn't a path?"

Matt stared up at the ceiling and thought his answer through "I don't know… I've never really envisioned myself working with anyone besides Mello" he took the joint between his fingers and inhaled a slow and patient drag, opening his mouth and letting the smoke rise from within without wind "I like computer systems, I like writing code… something along those lines. What about you?"

Dante shifted on the bed, twisting to lay on his side with his head propped on one elbow "I want to be a music reporter"

Matt grinned up at the ceiling, it was such a fitting answer he didn't know why he hadn't been able to guess it "yeah, that's it. It's the job for you"

Dante smiled and reached to tilt Matt's head to the side so he could lean down and kiss him comfortably. They were both used to the sensation of the other, reading the wordless movements of their lips into a soft wet dialogue.

"I have to tell you something" whispered Matt, giving back the joint and breaking his eye contact

Dante ashed the small paper cone, "what's that?"

The air fell tense as Matt tried to come up with the courage to tell his truth and Dante watched him thinking up all the possible confessions, growing nervous at his imaginations.

"Wammy's isn't just a school"

Dante's brows furrowed "what do you mean?"

"It's an orphanage."

Dante stared at the boy wide-eyed, processing all the implications that this had, understanding the boy in front of him in a new light, trying to determine how he felt and how he should feel. It was as if Matt had tossed a bucket of ice cold water over his head, his mind was jumbled and his lungs simply stopped. He put out the joint on the ashtray he kept on his window sill and swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat.

"I'm sorry"

Matt shook his head and smiled, trying to counteract the sunken expression on the other's face "no, no, it's okay. It was a long time ago… I just felt weird lying to you about it"

His words had the undesired effect of sinking Dan deeper into the pit of aching pity he felt, the boy's eyes began to water and his nose turned pink "why did you?"

Matt's face was painted with worry, his hand rushing to wipe away the budding tears from the dark-haired boy's eyelashes "I don't know… it was an impulse lie we told Emma the day we met. We didn't think we'd see you guys again." He changed his position, moving away a pillow that was in the way so he could bring Dan's head to rest on his shoulder "don't be sad"

Dante sniffled onto the cotton of the redhead's striped shirt and whimpered, feeling hot tears begin to form and letting them seep into the warm body holding him close. Matt rubbed his back and pressed his own cheek against the top of his head, a feeble smile carved onto his lip at the sick endearment he felt from someone grieving for him. It was easy to forget tragedy wasn't intrinsic in the walls of the orphanage, but the salt water and mucus against shoulder was a comforting reminder than even he deserved better, that his own sadness wasn't unfounded. He secretly wished Dante would cry harder.

"Wait, this is all wrong" Dante lifted his head, red and wet, and wiped his eyes sloppily with the back of his hand. "I should be holding you"

Matt smiled warmly and tucked into the welcoming arms, resting his head on the boy's chest and listened to all the vibrating organs underneath pumping oxygen and blood through him. He was stoned and content, a combination he found to be prime. "I'm sorry"

"For what?" Dante's voice was a croak

"For lying"

Dante looked down at him with blotchy cheeks and smiled "sorry for crying"

Matt's hand searched for Dante's own on the covers, finally finding the spidery set of warm fingers and slipping his own between them. "I like you." His ear picked up the quickening drum of Dante's heartbeat thumping in his ribcage as his mind stood still hoping he hadn't just ruined the mood by saying something rash

Dante's free hand ran down his back, his thumb rubbing gently "I like you too"

* * *

Mello sat on the white plush carpet that coated the floor of Emma's room with a spoon in one hand and a pint of chocolate ice cream on the ground between them. The radio was on in the background, playing popular pop songs that were interrupted occasionally with the host's blabber.

"Is the crisis you were talking about? Ice cream and nail polish?" He mocked, watching as the girl carefully coated her nails with a light lavender color

Emma looked up at him and shook her head "no, I'm just really good at procrastinating"

Mello nodded "that's alright, but I have to be back before nine"

The girl groaned "can't you stay? We're having fun"

Mello spooned some melting ice cream into his mouth "no, I have stuff to do. Exams"

"Right, okay. Let's get started then" she capped the vial of nail polish and tossed it into a plastic box containing a rainbow of other colors ranging from bright blue to dark red and a few glittery varnishes. She moved over to her backpack and poured out the contents, picking out a textbook, a notebook, and two pens with care not to ruin her freshly painted nails. "This should be quick"

"Am I doing your homework?" He asked in a monotone putting down the spoon and crossing his arms in disapproval

"No, you're helping me with my homework. Biology. Angie couldn't come home with me today, her mom is taking her to the tailor" she placed the items on the floor, opened the notebook to a fresh page, and flipped through the textbook "I have to write a paper on this. I can write it, I just need you to tell me what to write about"

Mello picked up the text book and placed it on his lap, noting the title of the section: _Interdependence of Organisms_. "Do you want to write about parasitism or mutualism?"

"What?" The quiet pitter-pattering of raindrops beginning to hit the windows sounded in the background.

Blue eyes lifted off the page to land on the girl "did you even read this?"

"Uh… no"

Mello sighed "okay, you're going to write about mutualism. Put that down"

Emma nodded and scribbled the word onto her notebook "okay what about it?"

"Bees and flowers. Bees need flowers to gather nectar, and flowers need to be pollinated by the bees" he paused, listening to the girl transcribe what he was saying into cursive while he let his eyes wander around the room. His attention landed on the white wall where the rows and columns of framed butterflies hung neatly "where did you get all those?"

"Hm?" Emma looked up and followed Mello's gaze "oh, my dad's a lepodowhatever. Like a butterfly scientist"

"Lepidopterist" the rain began to fall freely, the the hushing sound enveloping all the outside noises.

"Yes, that. He gave them to my mom I found them stashed in a closet so I kept them" she turned her attention back to the notebook "so, bees"

"Right, is this an essay?"

"Yeah"

"Here, just give me that" he took the notebook and pencil and drafted an outline for an essay that introduced the idea of mutualism, argued the example of bees and flower's relationship, and even bulleted a conclusion at the bottom. He then handed the notebook back to Emma and looked up again to gaze at the butterflies. They were so beautiful, but it made him feel odd to think in the end they were nothing more than carcasses on display.

Emma read over the writing in her notebook and smiled "amazing! Thank you" she put the notebook aside, and crawled over to Mello on the carpet, kissing him on the lips briefly. "I can do your nails since you did my homework"

"What?"

"I'll paint your nails," she repeated, digging through her collection of polishes and finding a true black that she knew would be fitting for the blonde's persona "what about this?"

"You're not painting my nails" he protested, sitting on his hands

"Why not?"

"Because I'll look ridiculous," he responded matter-of-factly "people will think..."

Emma had the nerve to smirk at him "are you scared people will think you're… gay?" She asked teasingly.

Mello swallowed uncomfortably and tensed up, moving to rise to his feet "you're acting up, I'm going"

The girl pulled him back onto the carpet by the belt loops of his pants and sat on him, holding him down sternly "it's just polish, stupid. You're being such a wimp, I thought you didn't care what other people thought"

"I don't!" He complained, trying to wiggle himself out of her restraints "I just… just not that"

"What? You only care if people think you're gay?"

"I go to church"

"You drink and fuck too. You're such a hypocrite," her voice was growing louder and her eyes crueler by the second

His struggle for freedom was futile and he was sinking under the pressure of not only her body, but her words "get off me!" His hands reached up to grab her by the shoulders, but the girl was quicker in catching his wrists and pinning the down. "Stop acting like you know me, this is different! Committing age-appropriate sins and being an aberrant are not the same."

"Stop using big words. They don't make you right, they just make you arrogant!" Her face drew closer to his. She was angry that the boy she liked would say something so senseless, that someone she trusted to be better would have such ugly thoughts. These weren't just frivolous feelings and opinions, this was the type of belief that made people like Dante vulnerable for being themselves. Was this the reason Dan told her to keep everything between he and Matt a secret? "Have you felt like this all along? I'm disgusted, I can't believe I kissed you. I hope you go to hell! I hope you go to straight to hell!" She hissed. This only incited rougher movements from him that in turn made her respond by holding onto him forcefully, like her life depended on it.

Mello struggled harder, grunting with the effort of getting his hands back so he could escape this mess– there was carpet burn on his elbows from his frantic pushing and pulling. "It's wrong! It's just wrong"

Emma gripped his wrists tighter and gritted her teeth, putting all her strength in this strange outburst of rage "wrong?" She was in disbelief, her voice rising to a scream "what's your fucking damage?!"

Time stopped. Mello looked into her eyes, his expression melting into something between horror and realization. He tried to speak but nothing would come out, his throat hurt suddenly, his eyes stung bitterly, and before he knew it tears were spilling from the corners of his eyes and onto the mess of blonde hair underneath his head.

Emma's jaw hung open at the sudden change of pace. She let go of his hands immediately, but instead of shoving her off like she expected he used them to cover his face. The girl slowly climbed off of him and leaned in "Mello?" There was no response expect for the intensifying of his silent burst of emotion, "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." This was bad, this was really bad "look at me."

The boy sat up, still concealing his face, and brought his knees to his chest.

Emma shot up to turn off the radio, hating the way the Britney Spears was clashing with the mood in the room, and ripped a blanket off the bed to place it over his shaking shoulder. "Please talk to me, please" she begged, gently petting his golden locks "I promise I won't be a bitch. Please talk to me"

Mello's blue eyes, now cradled in red, peered over to her "I did something bad"

The sound of his voice sent relief washing over her. She used the sleeve of her shirt to dry his eyes some and sat down next to him, "I'll bet you a fiver I've done worse. What happened?"

The boy's hand grasped the blanket and wrapped it around the front, hiding in the soft fabric "I kissed Xavier"

Emma's eyes widened "oh." She brought a hand to her chest and placed it over the straining feeling between her lungs "wow, ouch."

"It was a mistake, I was high and he was just… there. I like girls, I don't know what happened"

The brunette nodded, torn between being trying to play the role of the understanding friend and guarding herself from the betrayal "okay, okay. Hold it just a moment" she took a deep breath "this is a lot, I need a minute." She stood up and walked over to her dresser, opening the first drawer and digging amongst her underwear until she found what she was looking for: a fifth of bottom-shelf vodka sealed and untouched. She sat bad down and cracked the top open, unscrewed it, and took a gulp that forced her to grimace

"You drink a lot" muttered Mello, drying his face with the blanket while trying his best to look collected too soon after breaking down. He was trying to put himself back together before the pieces of him that were falling apart had the chance to hit the ground.

Emma gave him a look and chuckled "you just broke my fucking heart, dipshit. You have no say in how much I drink" she took another large gulp to punctuate her statement

Mello purse his lips and took the fifth from her, taking a long sip for himself.

"I want to be mad at you, I want to want to wring out your neck like a dirty mop" she rolled her eyes "if you weren't so fucked in the head I definitely would"

"I'm not"

"Yes, yes you are" she sat leaned her back against the bed and too the bottle back. "Look… here's the thing– it was wrong of you to kiss someone that night, and it was naïve of you to fall for someone like Xavier, but the fact that he's a boy should have nothing to do with it"

"No, you don't understand. We didn't just kiss" he confessed, having not words to describe the details "we- he did this thing… with his finger… never mind."

Emma took a sip of the vodka and cocked her head to the side "what thing with his fing- no, don't tell me. Did you come? Wait, fucks sake. Please don't answer that," it was getting harder to try to be sympathetic the more he dug the knife that was already cutting through her. "You're putting me in a really weird position. I don't know if I can be a friend, I love you and it's not going to come out the way it should"

"Emma, don't be ridiculous. You don't love me"

"Yes I do! You're so rude"

"No, you don't. You're just bored and you made me into this life-altering fantasy. It's not real, we're not even compatible"

Emma whined "you're trying to hurt me because I'm telling the truth. Could you take a moment to recognize how incredibly selfless I'm being right now?" She put the bottle down looked down at the carpet "do you like him?"

"No!" He answered bluntly, but the stream of text message conversation that had taken place late at night came rushing back into his consciousness and shook his answer "I don't know."

Emma looked at Mello with a defeated expression and nodded. This was only the beginning, and Mello didn't know the first thing about that boy with the beautiful face and nimble fingers.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Don't forget to comment/ favorite/ follow if you like the story :)**

 **Lyrics: Breathe- Pink Floyd**


	14. Chapter 14

**Wait A minute**

 _Some things don't work_

 _Some things are bout to be_

 _Some things, they hurt_

* * *

Upon getting the news Mello had been outwardly calm about it, which made Matt worry– the redhead would've preferred to see a fit, a tantrum, something familiar. The blonde's quiet resignation was unsettling. He had simply skulked back to his room to collect his coat and phone and then disappeared out the front door without leaving a word about where he was headed. When Matt called him a few minutes later he didn't pick up, and when he texted Emma to ask she denied knowing anything about it. A cigarette was lit and smoked out on his window sill while he wondered if maybe giving his best friend some space was the right thing to do. Lately, space seemed to be the only thing they exchanged.

* * *

Second place again. Mello had studied until his eyes wouldn't stay open any more while Near built castles out of dice, and he had still gotten second place in the latest reveal. If he wasn't face-down on Xavier's mattress right now, the test scores would be the only thing on his mind. Lying on his left cheek, Mello grasped the sheets underneath him and squeezed his eyes shut, uneven breaths skating across the mattress. He had come seeking that touch from the night of the show, foregoing any of the rules social interaction in favor of launching all of his frustrations onto Xavier via tongue the moment he was picked up in that old black car.

The bassist was forced to pry him off so they could drive and get to his home: a lived-in flat he shared with three of his bandmates. The only thing Mello noticed in the time it took them to cross the living room from the front door to the bedroom was the unholy amount of beer bottles piled into the kitchen sink. As soon as the door to Xavier's room closed, Mello took a look around the room and breathed in the unmistakable lingering scent of incense. The room was oddly empty: there was a mattress on the floor wrapped in linens left without a bedframe, a stack of books supporting a potted plant, and a desk with speakers. A blank slate.

Sweat was sticking the sheets to his skin. He groaned as nimble fingers inside of him brought out sweet sensations that turned off his thoughts and replaced them with simple desires.

"More" his words were muffled, but his pleads got across. Smooth tanned hands reached to stroke him slowly, making him whimper in response.

At first he'd felt strange about being the only one of the two stripped down to nudity, but the moment he was flipped onto his front and he could no longer see Xavier, clothed or not, it was all forgotten. Nothing mattered but the vibrating sensations running through his limbs. He didn't even notice the moans coming from his lips as his orgasm approached, turning the corner at full speed.

It was the unexpected feeling of a tongue running from the crook of his neck down between his shoulder blades that finally brought un his undoing with a few final pants and then blinding whiteness behind his eyelids.

Mello collapsed onto his side with eyes half-lidded, and the room went quiet once again. The mattress dipped as Xavier lied down next him and exhaled a long breath, his dark eyes fixed on the ceiling. The blonde took a leap of faith to lay his head on the bassist's shoulder and was met with a gentle glance tossed in his direction but nothing more. Cum and sweat soaked the sheet underneath him but he couldn't be bothered to mind the unpleasant feeling.

"What happened?" The bronze male's voice echoed in his chest and into the conch of Mello's ear

"Hm?"

"You seemed upset"

"Oh…" the truth was much too long and contrived to fit into a few words so he lied instead "I failed a test"

Xavier nodded and remained silent for a long while before speaking again "failure is relative"

Wrong. Failure was a ranking in Roger's desk "I guess." His own lithe fingers traveled down to the button of the bassist's denim jeans, if only to end this conversation, but his initiative was cut short.

"Have you ever-"

"No, but I can't imagine it being too difficult"

The older male chuckled and for that split second B was back in the atmosphere. "I'll teach you some other time. I have to be somewhere"

The blonde's head dropped onto the white sheets as the bassist moved to stand and left the room, presumably to the washroom. While he was left alone Mello looked around for his clothes and gathered himself slowly and clumsily, wishing for a shower. In his search for the opposite black sock his eyes caught sight of the slim box of incense sticks tucked in between the two speakers on the desk. Without a second thought he pulled out one of the sticks and hid it in the sleeve of his jacket.

He heard the sound of bare feet walking on the solid ground and into the room just as he was done pulling his shirt over his head.

"Where am I dropping you off?" Xavier asked, burying his feet into heavy combat boots and lacing them carelessly.

Mello licked the back of his teeth in thought as he pondered just how much he wanted to be at Wammy's right now.

* * *

 _Found him._

Matt sighed in relief and smiled down at his phone, laughing to himself at just how worried he'd allowed himself to become. He put the puzzle piece he was holding amongst the rest scattered on the Persian carpet and rubbed his eyes. The humming flames in the fire place lit up a room lined with dark wood, paintings, silken couches, and a dusty chandelier forever unlit that hung down from the ceiling like a forgotten bride.

"Bored?" Near's voice came in shapeless. Eyes focused on the task at hand, mild demeanor hiding a constantly whirring mind, the only color on him being the orange glow of the fire bouncing off his clothes.

"Hm? Oh" Matt looked amongst the puzzle pieces for an easy one "just got distracted."

"Was that from Mello?"

"Nosey" he scolded lightheartedly, enjoying the giveaway of interest in the other's question "no, it was from a friend… about Mello"

"Roger was looking for him"

"Yeah, I know" Matt sighed and shook his head "don't say anything. He needs to be left alone for now"

"I won't. I'm not a snitch" Near stated defensively, dropping puzzle pieces into place as a devious smirk quirked on his lip "all your secrets are safe with me"

Matt's brows furrowed, his hand reaching for the goggles resting on his forehead to pull them down over his eyes "what are you talking about?"

"Your penchant for late night tree-climbing, of course" Near answered cheekily, oh so proud of the dirt he had on his fellow orphan. He thrived in keeping small secret details from people and showing them off at interesting times like someone flaunting their collection of marbles– look but don't touch.

"What, are you spying on me?" Matt defied, leaning back away from the puzzle and rearranging his posture to ease his aching bones from sitting in the same position so long.

"Matt… you're ten stone, it rustles" Near looked down at their progress so far with the puzzle "I'm a light sleeper"

"I really wish our rooms weren't next to each other"

"I agree. Although I must say lately things have been quiet on your end"

"Yeah, well" there was nothing to say to this, but Near had a way with words that could fool someone into thinking they owed him an explanation "we've been focused"

"Certainly not on school" sometimes talking to Near felt like a passive-aggressive match with a disgruntled ex-wife.

"Hey! Cool it. There's only so much of your shit I can take"

"You're about to lose your spot" there it was.

"Whatever. Fuck that list, I don't care" Matt stood up and stretched his back with a pained groan "I have to go"

"Did I upset you?" Near asked from his kneel on the carpet, examining a puzzle piece between his fingers up close not for clues of its placement, but because he noticed a crease in it. This wasn't his doing, he took good care of his toys, someone had been helping themselves.

"No, I just have to go" Matt's hand reached down and ruffled the snowy head of hair, causing the younger boy to flinch away from his touch and groan.

"I really dislike that"

"I know."

* * *

"It's stupid because it's just a list, you know, but it's not" Mello sighed "this guy, he's never home, all he knows about us is that stupid fucking list and I- hey, hey. Up here, my eyes are up here"

Emma blinked, snapping out of her entranced state and turning to look at the boy in the face "sorry, it's just so… there"

"Can you behave? This was your idea"

"Nuh-uh" she protested, resting her cheek on the white porcelain of the edge of the tub "it was my idea for you to shower, it was your idea to run a bath"

"We don't get to take baths ever unless we're running a fever" he explained, sinking further into the warm water until it was up to his chin

"Lavender?"

"Hit me"

Emma obliged, reaching for the bottle of scented oils that rested on the floor and dripping some onto the surface of the water. The drops floated on the surface and split into smaller circles, releasing the calming scent into the steam. Mello's hands ran through the water slowly to stir it all in and then took rest at the bottom on his sides, his eyes closing slowly.

"So you have to impress this one guy, but you don't get to meet him…"

"Yes, to put it simply" he agreed, a proud smirk settling onto his expression "but I met him once"

The girl quirked an eyebrow "oh? What's he like?"

"Awesome"

She expected him to continue, but realized that was all he was letting on "and?"

"And?"

"Are you really not going to tell me?"

"I can't, I really can't"

"You don't trust me?"

"No, of course not. Just a second ago you told Dante I was here after I explicitly told you not to"

Emma groaned and sat straightened on the stool that was pulled up by the tub "that doesn't count, Matt was worried about you."

"Nah, he knows I'm fine" Mello argued, lifting his dripping wet hand out the water to gently grab at the lithe fingers resting on the porcelain

"Stop ignoring him"

Mello gave the girl's fingers a squeeze in surprise at her accusation "what? I'm not. It's not like that"

Emma peered up at him, unblinking and unconvinced, and sighed. Matt spoke to Dante and Dante spoke to her, and in this broken telephone she had caught glimpses of concern from Dan. Matt was going on and on about his concern for his and Mello's ancient friendship and Dan was contemplating just how much his lover cared about his roommate. Too much, perhaps. Emma had told Dan he was being a selfish twat just to shut him up, but in actuality she understood his concern.

The blonde pushed his hair back with his free hand and closed his eyes, shutting out the judgmental coming for him. "You look very nice, were you planning on going out?" A compliment to change the subject.

Emma smiled and rolled her eyes at his bold assumption that all her endeavors had been tossed out the window with his impromptu visit. Well, he wasn't wrong. "I had a date"

"A date?" His eyes opened, a frown appearing on his face "with who?"

"This boy from school" she lifted her head from the porcelain edge and cocked her head to the side "does that bother you?"

His eyes glared at her, unhappy at having his hypocrisy exposed "no. Won't he be upset you stood him up?"

"Maybe, but I guess he deserves it" she shrugged, playing idly with the boy's wet and water-wrinkled fingers "Jo told Marcy who told me Stephen overheard him calling me a 'cock goblin' during homeroom."

Mello scrunched his nose and set up in the tub "and you're going on a date with this guy?"

Emma smiled coyly "yes. I went up to him as he was leaving the gym and asked him if he'd like me to gobble his cock and so he agreed to take me out. Of course I wasn't going to but… I don't know."

He rose shook his head disapprovingly "no, don't do that. Don't go out with him."

Emma let go of his hand and leaned back on the stool she was sitting in to stretch her legs "I need him within reach, how else am I supposed to get him back for what he said?"

Mello lips twisted into a suppressed smile "Em… the chances of you making out with him are higher than the chances of you actually finding retalia- payback." Emma was the only person he had to worry about simplifying his language around, she spat at big words.

A deep frown appeared on her expression for a second, but it was quickly replaced with reconciliation "yeah, probably." She looked up at the ceiling lamp lighting the bathroom and squinted at the brightness "why am I like this?"

"You crave negative attention"

"What? That doesn't make any sense"

Mello shrugged "yes it does. It's your unconscious"

"What does your unconscious tell you?"

"I don't know. I can't know. That's the whole deal with the unconscious"

"Hm… I think you just crave attention. Good or bad"

"I get attention" he argued, sitting up in the tub and shivering at his wet skin retracting from the cold air

"Yeah, you're right" she agreed, looking down at him tenderly "you crave… protection. And dick."

At the moment he merely rolled his eyes and asked for a towel, but those two words would leave a bitter taste in his mouth for days to come.

He craved B.

* * *

"Where is he?"

"Emma's"

"Okay… are we going there then?" Matt asked with genuine confusion, he thought he'd been clear about wanting to find Mello

"If you want to" Dante answered in a monotone as they climbed the steps to the second story of his home.

"Uh… yeah"

"You want to?"

"Yeah"

"Okay" the taller boy granted, not bothering to hide how much he didn't want to leave the comfort of his home to find Mello when he was sure the guy was doing just fine. He would much rather stay in his room with Matt and watch a DVD with his head resting on the redhead even if his frame was too jutting and thin to ever be a comfortable pillow. "Right now?"

Matt was starting to get annoyed "yes, right now."

Dante sighed long and loud, looking for his scuffed sneakers and putting them on at a glacial pace. Matt watched, biting his tongue and stopping at fantasizing about taking matters into his own had and dressing Dan himself. The boy wasn't confrontational with him at the least, but he still found subtle ways to make his emotions known.

"Ready?" Matt imparted, looking at his fully dressed more-than-friends-with-undiscussed-relationship-status-person and opening the door of his bedroom.

"Mhmm…" Dante dragged his feet across the floor and committed to his theatrics all the way to the front door.

Matt slipped his fingers into the other's own long large hand to pick up their pace as they made their way toward Mello across the damp sidewalk. Being publicly affectionate was something they kept to a minimum, out of sight of people they knew personally– but this wasn't hand-holding, it was towing.

However, it seems the difference between the two was narrower than he'd imagined.

"Oi, keep that shit to yourselves you fucking fairies." As they crossed past the corner store where all the older kids sat around to drink cheap beer and smoke filter-less cigarettes, one of them perked up and yelled in their direction. Matt was humiliated to say the least, letting go of Dante's hand in an instant and bowing his head as he pivoted his trajectory to escape the scene via a side street. Before he could do so, though, Dan placed a firm hand on his shoulder and pulled him towards the corner store.

Matt widened his eyes at him and whispered with urgency as he tugged back "what are you doing? Let's go." He didn't want to deal with whatever this was, he wanted to get Mello, go home, and work on that puzzle with Near... maybe.

Dante's hazed expression turned devious the closer he got to the group of young men "they're just some of my schoolmates, come say hello." He waved a hand towards the verbal young man, who rose from his sitting position on a stoop, and greeted him sardonically "top o' the mornin' to ya, Callum."

Callum scowled in response, his angular face contorting into an expression that Matt was sure meant offense. He tossed the finished can of beer he'd been holding to the side and licked his front teeth "I told you to keep my name out of your mouth"

Dante nodded at him, turning to talk to Matt loud enough for everyone present to be able to hear "he's a little obsessed with me. It's cute, really"

The gamer nervously glanced at the stranger and wondered what Dan was planning to get at. The tension in the air was palpable.

"I always knew you were a poof" Callum snarled, stepping towards the tall dark-haired boy

The change Dante's aura was swift, his usual lighthearted manner tossed aside for a hostile side of him Matt had never witnessed "that so? I should be thankful that didn't get in the way of me and you sister last summer, then."

"Dan, stop it" begged the redhead, tugging at the sleeve of the boy's coat only to have it yanked back in insistence.

Callum rolled up his sleeves in a subtle warning. He was shorter and had one of those faces only a mother could love, but something about his demeanor promised he wasn't lacking self-confidence. Every time he spoke he became angrier by a notch, incited by Dante. It was like watching a bullfighter wave the red cloth in front of the beast, mocking him into action.

"What the hell did you just say to me?" The elder dared

Dante licked his chapped lips and smiled coyly "I said… I'll keep your name out of my mouth as long as you hop off my dick and stop harassing my boyfriend."

Boyfriend. Matt should've been focused on deciphering at what point in time they had decided they were going to put labels on each other, but before he could process the implications of the other's words there was a loud skin-on-skin smack ringing into his left ear. Streaks of blood and spit darted across his face and coat before Dante hit the ground limp to gravity.

* * *

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two"

"Are you sleepy?"

"Yeah"

"Don't fall asleep"

Dante's eyes blinked open and closed slowly "I wasn't considering about it"

"Seriously, don't fall asleep" Matt urged him, holding a cold can of Coca-Cola to his rapidly-swelling face.

After Callum struck Dante across the face the owner of the corner store, an older man with a thick accent and a wide bald spot, came out armed with a broom and threatened to call the police. Matt would've taken the time to thank him if only the broom wasn't being waved at him as well. The hard part was getting Dan back on his feet and moving, but now that they were a safe distance away he leaned the boy against a brick wall and got down to checking his alertness.

"I'm fine" the dark-haired boy assured him, turning his head to spit blood onto the cement "I'm fine." He reached for the can that was cooling his face and replaced Matt's hand in holding it in place "I didn't think he would go for it, he never does. I forgot Andrew wasn't with me." Matt listened as he lit a cigarette and puffed it with relief "it's a big difference– me with and without Drew. I'm the brains and he's the brawn… well, I'm the bastard and he's the brawn. Am I drooling?"

"A little bit" Matt reached to wipe the corner of Dan's mouth with his sleeve, unamused at the whole situation

"Are you cross?"

"Eh… yeah. I wish you would've walked away"

"Yeah, me too." Dante took the cigarette Matt was smoking and stole a puff that left a couple red stains on the filter

"So he's angry because you got with his sister?"

Dante nodded lazily "he thinks I did but truth is I was too drunk to get it up so I just passed out on her bed and we never spoke again after that morning"

Matt hated the way his lips struggled to keep from smiling and then inevitably let laughter pass through. The taller boy smiled down at him, smug at the gamer's inability to stay mad at him. It was endearing.

"Alright, shall we?" Dante pushed himself off the wall and continued smoking the cigarette, but Matt didn't follow his initiative.

"Wait" he redhead commanded

Dante looked back at him expectantly "should've kissed you there, right? It was a 'moment'"

Matt shook his head "no, that's not it. Back there… you said I was your boyfriend"

"Did I, now?"

"Yes"

"Well… I have been thinking about it"

"You should've told me"

"I'm telling you now"

"I guess…"

"And?"

"And what?"

"And… how does it sound?"

Matt froze, raised one hand to fiddle with the strap of his goggles as an uneasy feeling settled in his stomach. It didn't feel right. But why? Up to now everything with Dante had happened to naturally, it felt like they fit into each other so nicely and yet somehow he wasn't sure he would say yes to this proposal. He hadn't been thinking about it, he hadn't even begun to consider officially entering a relationship and it seemed askew to him that they were on such different footing.

He looked down at his feet and the mood turned tense once again, evident by a sharp sigh of disappointment coming from the other's bloody lips.

"Forget it, come on." This was the first time Matt had heard Dante sound so serious.

* * *

 **Alright so... I know this chapter is kind of choppy and dense but I've fiddled with it too much and it's been ages so I chose to just post it as is. Hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! I appreciate those of you who have made it this far.  
I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback in the comments so don't be shy~  
-CGG**

 **Lyrics:Wait a Minute!- Willow**


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